MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

Renee Montgomery
"Cincy is getting mollywhopped by WVU while Bill Clinton and Denzel Washington are sitting in the stands."

How I See It: Mollywhopped? I can only imagine Bill Clinton saying that word: “I did not mollywhop that woman!”

Eric Fehr
"The Incredibles is one of the most entertaining cartoon movies ever!"

How I See It: Yeah, it’s simply incredible!!! Ok, terrible joke ... weak crop of tweets tonight. I'm in desperation mode.

Kassim Osgood
"and right now i have Garlic Breath! Good thing my girlfriend is not close by...i mean, if there WAS one. lol!!! looking...takers?? lol jk"

How I See It: Except you totally aren’t kidding.

Ozzie Guillen
"The wings vegasa yesssasa"

How I See It: Is this English? Spanish? Some other language only Ozzie Guillen understands?

Adam Jones
"BUT THERES STILL A CHANCE"

How I See It: Hope spring's eternal ... except when you play for the Orioles.

Ozzie Guillen
"I going to get my chevy help me suv ?"

How I See It: If there was a Least Valuable Tweet, this would be it.

Matt Forte
"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep....he waits!"

How I See It: Chuck Norris also won a game of Connect 4 in three moves.

Justin Forsett
"I cheated on Subway with Quiznos I couldn't resist I heard such great things about it but now I feel guilty hope Subway takes me back lol"

How I See It: How could you?

Terrell Owens
"I'm en route back 2 LA imagining wht WE could hv done 2gether!! Holy delta skymiles Robin! U talk about unstoppable!!"

How I See It: WE? You and Ocho combined equals the opposite of WE.

Kevin Boss
"Watching Around the Horn and they are talking about needing to get rid of the song "one shinning moment" that plays at the end of the NCAA Men's Nat. championship game with highlights from the tourney! Very bad idea! My dad use to tape that for me every year!"

How I See It: This is two tweets, but who cares. I completely agree with you, Kevin. "One Shining Moment" is the best part of the championship game. "The Ball is Tipped!"

Natasha Hastings
"Omg! Watchin this week's 24 episode. Jack Bauer is soooooo freakin cold!!!!"

How I See It: You said it perfectly.

Visanthe Shiancoe
"Worry about things that you can control and let the rest go.. what can you do about it"

How I See It: Try telling that to any Vikings fan if Brett Favre retires. Good luck.

Emmitt Smith
"thank u baby RT @PatSmith_TY: Thought my husband @EmmittSmith22 was awesome on Oprah today! http://tinyurl.com/yaqfsh2"

How I See It:Yes, husbands and wives now have conversations on Twitter. You wonder why the divorce rate is so high.

Alana Beard
"Yo, why are guys SO BOLD??? They dont mind rejection at all. I get these messages all the time..."

How I See It: Courting a lady through Twitter? So bold.

Swin Cash
"Just waking up since 2pm ugh this time difference is killing me lol UCONN game on... What's been going on?"

How I See It: Better chance of happening: the UConn women losing this basketball game or the state of Connecticut seceding from the United States?

Danica Patrick
"I was complaining about the cold weather today then though I might want some of these cool breezes in Brazil! We all want what we cant have."

How I See It: Perfect example: I want Danica Patrick, yet I can’t have her. Another good lesson: never give up hope. And thus I haven’t. Though I probably should.

Tyrus Thomas
"It's 67 degrees in Charlotte!!!!"

How I See It: You can really tell he'd been in Chicago for too long.

Merril Hoge
"Redskins cb Deangalo Hall will be on NFL live with us at 4 pm Espn! Called him big money when I saw him in the hall we both laughed"

How I See It: And probably at two different things.

Larry Fitzgerald
""What you are is what you have been,and what you will be is what you do now""

How I See It: I don't even think Larry caught this.

Kerron Clement
"Oh I like listening to Chipmunk versions of @MariahCarey songs #Random"

How I See It: More like #creepyashell.

Rey Maualuga
"Physical Therapy. Definitely making progress..."

How I See It: Still too soon for a DUI joke?

Bobby McCray
"Pocket tweeting killing me....lol"

How I See It: C’mon Bobby. That’s the lamest excuse in the book.

Ozzie Guillen
"Magic larry great rival great basketball ever"

How I See It: I have a feeling that Twitter needs to install an Ozzie Guillen translator for all of his gibberish tweets. Starting with this one.

Quentin Groves
"No reviews on studio 9!!!!! Means no!!!!!! Then!!!! Where we at duval???"

How I See It: This!!! Tweet!!! Is!!! So!!!! Enthusiastic!!!!!!!

Martellus Bennett
"y errbody mad at me today sheesh..... oh well i wanna buy shoes bc i can"

How I See It: “I want to buy shoes because I can.” It’s safe to say that Martellus is a perfect Dallas Cowboy.

Nazr Mohammed
"Pulled out a victory over the Warriors 2nite. That's 2 in a row so we need to keep it going vs Miami on Tues."

How I See It: Two straight wins for the Bobcats? Someone plan a parade!

Tito Ortiz
"Jenna call me."

How I See It: Tweets of desperation.

Stylez G. White
"Listening to jay z old shit... "imaginary players" yo, whts the difference between a 4.0 and 4.6? Instant classic!"

How I See It: Can't disagree with that one. That first name, though.....

Darnell Dockett
"Shoutout to all the NFL teams that's spending money to get better!"

How I See It: Never thought the Bears would fall into that category.

Morris Peterson
"Whats up world? tonight we play @moneymase and the #Spurs on ESPN, what are you up to?"

How I See It: Mo Pete's still in the league?

Simon Cho
"1.5 months ago, I refused to hop on the Twitter bandwagon...at this point, my rebelliousness has been overpowered by my fondness of Twitter"

How I See It: Probably the most introspective tweet ever.

Ozzie Guillen
"Just saw and talked to nolan wow one of the best ever what a pleasure."

How I See It: I think what Ozzie means is “[expletive deleted].”

Jose Canseco
"The movie on my life if interested email me at jc7264@yahoo.com"

How I See It: Right now, IMDb has Daniel-Der Zauberer ranked at the top (bottom?) of the IMDb Bottom 100 movies. I think that’s about to change.

Darrell Green
"Retiring, getting cut and and just plane old quitting, is a part of the the professional sports business."

How I See It: I assume spelling “plain” wrong is also part of the business.

Apolo Ohno
"Getting ready to jump off this plane in Denver. It's been a long day. Check out this sweet pic - http://tweetphoto.com/13271583"

How I See It: From the Olympics to jumping off planes? Apolo Ohno is awesome.

Antrel Rolle
"It's pretty sweet being a free agent...check out new blog jus posted at my website www.rolle21.com"

How I See It: Antrel sounds like a guy that just broke up with his girlfriend. He tells himself that it is great being single, but then after about an hour he realizes he is alone with no girlfriend, or in this case no job.

Fabian Washington
"I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream. LMAO"

How I See It: I tried screaming for ice cream with my mom once ... didn’t work too well. I got a timeout.

Jose Canseco
"B e careful with the irs they r coming down hard on people"

How I See It: And recently, the amount of tax dollars we owe has been on steroids.

Cliff Avril
"It's funny what people say to u sometimes..."

How I See It: Cliff, you’re on the Lions. Take it like a man.

Kevin Johnson
"Click the link to the see the press conference in which I endorsed Tyreke Evans for Rookie of the Year. RekeROY! http://bit.ly/cuJpQD"

How I See It: “Endorsed?” Really? This is what the NBA Rookie of the Year award has come to?

Mark Sanchez
"My buddy Ryan is running the LA Marathon for the John Wayne Cancer Institute. Check out the link www.firstgiving.com/ryanrunsla"

How I See It: By "Ryan," do you mean Rex Ryan? Because that would be AWESOME to see Rex Ryan run a marathon. Especially for a good cause.

Nick Barnett
"Does anyone want a tour of my home in Cali?? If I can get 1500 replys I will do one fasure"

How I See It: Are you selling it? No? Is the offseason that boring?

Natasha Hastings
"@sidneyrice u just disappeared. Lol. What's goin on wit u?"

How I See It: Can't take a hint.

Cliff Avril
"At Gladys Knights chicken and waffles... Bout to grub"

How I See It: See Nick, this is how you spend an offseason.

Jose Canseco
"If u no a haiter expose them to me and the world"

How I See It: Jose Canseco: Officer of Twittilante Justice.

Rhys Lloyd
"May go to dicks later and buy a punching bag.. "

How I See It: 10 years ago, I'd of had a field day with this one.

Santonio Holmes
"Let's Go UK!"

How I See It: Why are you concerned about Kentucky when your Buckeyes are playing its biggest rival now?

Chad Hedrick
"Heading to the rink for what will be my last race officially! I have a chance to glorify God with a gold medal in front of millions!"

How I See It: It's been a good run. Way to represent the great state of Texas in the Olympics.

Seth Greenberg
"White Out will help create one of the best atmospheres in college hoops! Our players feed off the energy of the Hokie Nation!"

How I See It: White outs, black outs, etc. are the most overrated thing ever.

Dwayne Wade
"You know those dayz u jus wake up in a great mood. That's me today. I have positive juju for everyone lols"

How I See It: juju?

Donte Whitner
"One last thing totally off the subject. When the Cavs win the Championship this year its only right to put the Lebron statue out front the Q"

How I See It: They should first wait for him to sign a huge contract.

Ivan Babikov
"Raining hard in Whistler this morning. We'll get wet and cold skiing today"

How I See It: Safe bet.

Jose Canseco
"There is just too many of you to help at one sitting! I have to run. Enjoy your day!"

How I See It: How screwed up must your life be when you're willing to stand IN LINE for help from Jose Canseco?

Martellus Bennett
"second bowl is always better than the 1st"

How I See It: Never lied about that.

Michael Waltrip
"I was just reminded that I had asparagus last evening."

How I See It: Some very subtle humor from Mr. Waltrip.

Chad OchoCinco Johnson
"Man I am gonna be on with the homie @revis24 on first take also, this is gonna be cool"

How I See It: Is Darrelle gonna shut you down on there too?

Brandi Chastain
"WAY TO GO USA WOMEN'S HOCKEY. You make me so proud. WINNING SILVER is an AMAZING ACCOMPLISHMENT. YOU are an INSPIRATION. WAY TO REPRESENT."

How I See It: I guess we gotta give the hosts something ...

Apolo Anton Ohno
"Tomorrow I will stand tall, w/ no fear or regrets. My 3rd Olympic Games, this is by far my best yet & I still have the heart to give my all."

How I See It: Now, not only do I feel less of a man with him around, but he's now more eloquent. Or at least he's got some command of English as opposed to everyone else in Twitter world. But, whatever the case, best of luck.

Billy Demong
"Oh yeah;)"

How I See It: 24 minutes to go 10 km on skis? I can't do 10 km on a bike in half an hour ... so Oh, hell yeah!

Nicole Joraanstad
"Just found the Olympic Flame! It was beautiful :)"

How I See It: Isn't it kinda hard to miss?

Christian Vande Velde
"Almost spit my coffee out yelling @billydemong and Johnny Spilane. Congrats guys. 1-2 in the nordic combined. Now Finland needs to go down."

How I See It: Cause Finland is just so intimidating.

Venus Williams
"I love putting things on the wish list on online shopping website. I figure I have 1000's of items in cyber baskets all over the web..."

How I See It: Venus, aren't you capable of fulfilling all your wishes with your millions of dollars?

Kevin Boss
"Why the heck can't we get the game live on the westcoast?"

How I See It: NBC is ruining the Olympics for us. It is too hard to go all day without finding out who won the competitions. Just show it live!

Darnell Dockett
"Why is my Mac book Pro moving slow and drag? Now I can't watch beyonce videos, it moving like its chopped and screwd!!! Do mac get virus?"

How I See It: Not sure because I'm a PC.

Nick Mangold
"For all my LOST fans. Does anyone have a good LOST message board so I can read up on other views and what not?"

How I See It: Don't bother Nick, you will only get more confused. It is your destiny to just watch the show and let things unfold.

Kenny Moore
"Whatever happend to the rapper Chingy????"

How I See It: He's just been chillin' at the Holiday Inn.

Bret Hedican
"Parise seals it with empty netter!! Awesome USA advances!!! Huge for American Hockey!! Congrats boys!"

How I See It: Only two wins away from the gold.

Colby Armstrong
"watching the hockey game. Pretty good so far. One more period to go tho. 2nd intermission, gonna wrestle my 3 dogs. 3 on 1...I got this!!"

How I See It: The Colby vs. dogs wrestling match will probably be more competitive than Canada-Germany hockey.

Andrew Bogut
"#ilikedyouuntil you thought I was a Bank."

How I See It: And in this recession, being called a bank is like being called a Nazi.

Kerron Clement
"#ilikedyouuntil U open ur mouth"

How I See It: This does not seem like a very productive way to start a relationship.

Apolo Ohno
"It's raining here...I think it's quite beautiful actually. 3 more intense days to go! I am ready."

How I See It: I know this has nothing to do with the tweet, but Apolo Ohno might be the coolest name ever. Especially for an Olympian.

Frank Trigg
"Finally after several hours of curling jockey is on. Canada v Germany."

How I See It: After the devastating loss to the United States, Canadian hockey players apparently dropped their sticks to start playing a new game: jockey. Still better than curling I guess.

Donte Whitner
""If the man grabs something from u, u gotta go grab the man" -unknown"

How I See It: Unknown = made up.

Santonio Holmes
"I said I have the chills not the runs"

How I See It: Thanks for the clarification there, Santonio.

Allison Baver
"Larry (our Canadian coach) is mad because they have fake maple syrup at the Vancouver Olympic Games! They need to... http://bit.ly/aV3ve7"

How I See It: Or, he could be pissed because you are aren't winning enough.

Mercedes Nicoll
"Fingers crossed I get to go to the womens hockey game tonight!!! Xoxo"

How I See It: What are you, grounded?

Dara Torres
"Why do peeps feel like when they see a cop car they have to go slower than the speed limit? Ur not gonna get a ticket 4 passn the cop!!"

How I See It: Maybe, but you're famous.