MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

Chris Needham
"Races are underway, ice is questionable"

How I See It: ...as in there's a chance the ice won't show up?

Thomas Howard
"I just saw a Snickers commercial with Aretha Franklin in it. It was funny"

How I See It: Thank you for your input, Mr. Howard.

Shawne Merriman
"I feel like going to the wild animal park and playing in a lions den"

How I See It: Anybody got the number to TMZ's tip hotline?

Ivan Babikov
"Well, that was my first race at this Olympics! Pretty happy with my 8th place! Good start but more races to go!Team looks great!"

How I See It: He's taking this a lot better than I take 8th-place finishes on Mario Kart.

Apolo Ohno
"Ps-my apologies for "spoiling" certain results....I keep forgetting most USA has east coast feeds.."

How I See It: And I'm sorry for "muttering" terrible things under my breath about you.

Apolo Ohno
"Seth wescott!!! GOLD! Awesome!!!"

How I See It: STOP!

Evan Oglesby
"Just woke up from a much needed nap. Ready to Paint the town"

How I See It: Urban Dictionary defines “paint the town” as “to appear at a number of different parties.” So either Evan is a painter in the offseason, or he is about to have a wild night.

Nate Robinson
"Man we might be stuck in DC for another night with all this snow nooooooo!!!! I can't stand the snow! Word aapp!"

How I See It: Every time “DC” is brought up in relation to basketball, I feel the urge to make a Gilbert Arenas joke. It’s an epidemic.

Shelden Williams
"yea so i saw that obama was at the duke game!! he might be bad luck for collegiate sports haha!!"

How I See It: And now he is trying to change the BCS system ... but if he is bad luck, I still don’t see how it can get much worse.

Shawne Merriman
"Can somebody ask @OGOchoCinco where is the charity event"

How I See It: Can you?

Grant Hill
"RT @OMGFacts: Billy goats urinate on their own heads to smell more attractive to females. #omgfacts"

How I See It: It doesn’t work with humans. Not that I’ve tried or anything. (I was desperate!)

Bubba Watson
"Any one want to eat lunch @dirtybirdspb it's on me be there at 12:00 high noon!!!"

How I See It: Do they deliver to Texas?

Shawne Merriman
"Haha I meant a photoshoot I don't carry guns no need too"

How I See It: Except for your left and right arms.

Zac Diles
"Gotta love Houston... If you don't just take a look outside and your mind will change..."

How I See It: There is nothing better than 100 percent humidity.

David Garrard
"In the pro bowl."

How I See It: Only after four other quarterbacks dropped. You should feel special.

Chad Ochocinco
"If I had @BillGates income id steal the cruise ship OASIS OF THE SEA and bring all my twitter fans n party till coast guard come arrest us"

How I See It: Why do you need money to steal something. I'm confused, but I am down to join Ocho if this ever happens.

Jason Grilli
"More #badcasemondays. Power just went out in neighborhood. Funny thing is now garage door is stuck open. At least I got my car out! Haha"

How I See It: Because getting your car out of a permanently open garage is a challenge.

Keith Bulluck
"Margahrita Monday may not happen for the kid 2day...the recovery part is what's holding me bac right now,but it's only 1 o'clock so we'll c"

How I See It: *Sigh*, life's decisions. I don't know how we have the strength to endure.

Renee Montgomery
"If a real fat man snatches u up & throws u in a bag don't b afraid. Its just Santa collecting his Ho's for Christmas... 18 days left : )"

How I See It: And if that bag is a golf bag, tell Tiger to cut it out.

Freddy Adu
"def Have some decisions to make within the next couple of weeks"

How I See It: Safe bet.

Shawne Merriman
"All you fantasy lovers dont pick @OGOchoCinco dec. 20th because he's not going to play he has already decided to stay on the team bus"

How I See It: Merriman: Pro Bowl trash talker.

Jessica Gysin
"Sad I'm missing the Laker game but I have class! How do they look?"

How I See It: They are very large and have gold and purple clothes on. One of them looks as if he hasn't shaved or gotten a haircut since the Berlin Wall fell.

Takeo Spikes
"guess we have crabs AND vd! lol"

How I See It: This was taken out of context, I gotta admit. But you don't wanna see the context. Trust me.

Ben King
"Just bought a plane ticket to Nicaragua for a week in November... I'll find a way to fill you in on "the plan" soon. Siked its working out!"

How I See It: The DEA is now monitoring Ben King's Twitter page.

Shawne Merriman
"I love how things get blown up for nothing, all that was said is that we need to play better & we didnt need to be told that..NOW HEADLINES?"

How I See It: In the Shawne Merriman School of Logic, venting frustration about being quoted by the media means you should provide said media more quotable material.

David Clowney
"Someone loves me :-/ "

How I See It: Emoticon fail.