MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

Renee Montgomery
"Cincy is getting mollywhopped by WVU while Bill Clinton and Denzel Washington are sitting in the stands."

How I See It: Mollywhopped? I can only imagine Bill Clinton saying that word: “I did not mollywhop that woman!”

Eric Fehr
"The Incredibles is one of the most entertaining cartoon movies ever!"

How I See It: Yeah, it’s simply incredible!!! Ok, terrible joke ... weak crop of tweets tonight. I'm in desperation mode.

Kassim Osgood
"and right now i have Garlic Breath! Good thing my girlfriend is not close by...i mean, if there WAS one. lol!!! looking...takers?? lol jk"

How I See It: Except you totally aren’t kidding.

Ozzie Guillen
"The wings vegasa yesssasa"

How I See It: Is this English? Spanish? Some other language only Ozzie Guillen understands?

Adam Jones
"BUT THERES STILL A CHANCE"

How I See It: Hope spring's eternal ... except when you play for the Orioles.

Shaun Phillips
"Charging people to bring bags on an airplane is #somebullshit."

How I See It: Don't you make millions of dollars?

Renee Montgomery
"Mann I forgot my chapstick and was stuck lickin my lips for an hour bc I ain't wanna look like gucci man."

How I See It: Shots fired!

Vernon Davis
"Just got done working out y'all and now I'm hungry!"

How I See It: Shocker.

Connor Barwin
"Back Houston for the weekend...what should I do for dinner tonight??"

How I See It: Call Vernon. You all can work through this together.

Juan Pablo Montoya
"Eating in basil thai in downtown charlotte. Looks pretty good will see....eating by myself...."

How I See It: If you'd direct messaged Vernon and Connor, you wouldn't be alone.

Natalie Coughlin
"Dear Shannon Sharpe, what the heck are you wearing?"

How I See It: I’ve asked that same question countless times. If he wears a toga next time, it will probably be an upgrade.

Renee Montgomery
"Finished shopping for now. Time for the game. #Ravens"

How I See It: Shield your eyes, Renee. You shouldn’t have watched. Only adds salt in the wound for Baltimore fans still bitter about the Colts leaving town.

Chansi Stuckey
"All this smoke has given me a terrible headache"

How I See It: Looks like Chansi might already be getting into trouble in the offseason ... that’s what happens when you play for the Browns.

DeSean Jackson
"This guy reggie bush jus did sommmmmme sicccccc ass shit on dat TD............. I see u boi u got that wiggle out there swerv'n sheeeeesh"

How I See It: Translation: it was a very nice play by Reggie Bush.

Shaun Phillips
"The new phelps subway commercial should have him swimming to amsterdam lol."

How I See It: Now that is a funny tweet.

Drew Brees
"Remember, Blackout the Dome with your Finish Strong shirt. The official players shirt says, "Our City, Our Home" then "Finish Strong""

How I See It: “Finish strong”…..yeah, the Saints definitely finished strong this year with those home losses to the Cowboys and Bucs. Definitely.

Al Horford
"Play the Wizards tonite at 7. Let's get it"

How I See It:(insert Arenas/Crittenton gun joke here)

Trent Shelton
"If your tweet isnt "Retweeted" by at least one person ...you probably shouldnt say it cuz NOBODY cares!"

How I See It:This might be the best way to alienate your entire base of followers.

Renee Montgomery
"#randomfact Brad Pitt has been smoking since the sixth grade"

How I See It: Telling kids that Brad Pitt has been smoking since sixth grade is probably not the best way to prevent them from smoking.

Kevin Weekes
"Tweeters, I'll take the first 10 questions from minor hockey goalies and or parents,and adult rec goalies for tips,insights on the posistion"

How I See It: I’m sure the amount of tweets by minor league hockey goalies and their parents completely overwhelmed Kevin as soon as his tweet was sent out.

Russell Westbrook
"GEtting Dressed.... then headed too the Ford Center to play the Bobcats... LEts Get it!!!!"

How I See It: The Bobcats and Thunder! The NBA: where meaningless December games happen.

Renee Montgomery
"If ur rating a relationship and give it a 7.5, would that be considered high?"

How I See It: Should I start worrying that women rate their relationships?

Cliff Avril
"Just touchdown in San Fran.... Extremely too long of a flight..."

How I See It: Cliff sounds extremely too excited to be in San Francisco for this game.

June Jones
"ESPN SportsCenter Highlight Of The Night - SMU Blasts Nevada - http://bit.ly/8vo8Oa"

How I See It: There must have really been a lot of great sporting events that night!

Tony Hawk
"Just went to the grocery store and saw two separate incidents of bloody noses. One by Starbucks and one by the checkout line. The Happening?"

How I See It:Maybe The Happening. Maybe 24 Season 3. Or maybe just crazy shoppers throwing fists like Floyd Mayweather Jr. to get post-Christmas sales.

Steven Jackson
"One of my presents to myself."

How I See It: Is it a win?

Bryan Clay
"s there anything better than a scalding 30 min shower after a long day at the track??? I don't think so! #fb"

How I See It: I mean, I'm not really a fan of third degree burns. But do you, Bryan.

Andrew Bogut
"ESPN Australia following me around for the day today, and tomo. Should be great for the aussie fans to see whats the daily hapnings in MIL!"

How I See It: Man, ESPN is not playin.

Taylor Phinney
"If someone made a cycling video game what would you like to see?? (I know PCM is out there)"

How I See It: Flamethrowers. Yeah, flamethrowers. And those digital girls in bikinis waving the checkered flag at the finish line too.

Renee Montgomery
"I'm really trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. #changeofheart?"

How I See It: Tweet of the day.

Jason Grilli
"More #badcasemondays. Power just went out in neighborhood. Funny thing is now garage door is stuck open. At least I got my car out! Haha"

How I See It: Because getting your car out of a permanently open garage is a challenge.

Keith Bulluck
"Margahrita Monday may not happen for the kid 2day...the recovery part is what's holding me bac right now,but it's only 1 o'clock so we'll c"

How I See It: *Sigh*, life's decisions. I don't know how we have the strength to endure.

Renee Montgomery
"If a real fat man snatches u up & throws u in a bag don't b afraid. Its just Santa collecting his Ho's for Christmas... 18 days left : )"

How I See It: And if that bag is a golf bag, tell Tiger to cut it out.

Freddy Adu
"def Have some decisions to make within the next couple of weeks"

How I See It: Safe bet.

Shawne Merriman
"All you fantasy lovers dont pick @OGOchoCinco dec. 20th because he's not going to play he has already decided to stay on the team bus"

How I See It: Merriman: Pro Bowl trash talker.

Aaron Maybin
"So The Million doller question is...what should i eat for dinner? I already know its gonna be a lot of somethin, lol. very hungry"

How I See It: Whatever it is, make sure it comes with a side of Spell Check.

Renee Montgomery
"I think kids should be allowed to play Wii in Phys Ed at school. what u think?"

How I See It: Renee, you're a pro athlete! I was expecting something more along the lines of having kids run 50 suicides in gym class.

Thomas Howard
"I just re-watched our Game against the Bengals in 2006. Nnamdi had a hell of a year in 06. Mike Huff in the box playing Strong Safety..."

How I See It: I knew things were bad in Oakland, but damn.

Tommy Lasorda
"I played in Puerto Rico for four different teams during Winter Ball: Mayaguez, Santurce, Ponce and Caguas."

How I See It: Omitted: "before the Bay of Pigs."

Nate Clements
"do anybody have suggestions for rapid hair growth?"

How I See It: Stop getting haircuts.

Renee Montgomery
"@KevinDurant35 Hello there. u are being followed"

How I See It: In a non-Twitter setting, this would be beyond creepy.

Serena Williams
"I'm getting sick"

How I See It: Just threaten the germs till they act right.

Nick Mangold
"@jayfeely whatcha all talkin about?"

How I See It: We covered this yesterday, Nick. Don't get this guy started.

Visanthe Shiancoe
"Target it is!!!"

How I See It: Unless you're buying an entire Target, I'm going to be very upset.

Jennie Finch
"Lord help me and my sweet potato pie craving!"

How I See It: I just said the same thing! So weird you asked for more sweet potato pie too.....oh.

Justin Gimelstob
"I just asked the dude at Coffee Bean what the maximum legal amount of caffeine he could put in my coffee, and then please add more"

How I See It: Oh Justin, such the comedian. Try that with the bartender next time.

Renee Montgomery
"We are riders. On a mission. Action kids in play condition! What u know about that?"

How I See It: Somebody get this girl a record deal!

Thurman Thomas
"I've had enuff of this crap"

How I See It: Then pack your Twitter bags and get out, Thurman. We don't want you anyways.

Carmelo Anthony
"Just got to Indiana"

How I See It: Sorry to hear that.

Ray Rice
"I'm in this train to Ny tell Me this dude is sleep snoring loud as hell and he farted in his sleep lol the whole train is like WTF"

How I See It: Real nice, Ray. This guy trusted you enough to sleep next to you and you go ahead and put him out via Twitter.

Nick Barnett
"Any big trades?"

How I See It: Sigh, yeah Nick. We've already sent your stuff to St. Louis.

Renee Montgomery
"Indecent Proposal: If someone offered you a million dollars to sleep with your husband/wife, what would you do? "

How I See It: For some guys, that million would be a bargain. Just ask Paul McCartney how much it cost him to sleep with his wife.

Christina Kim
"Just finished a 5mile run. Legs like jello hehehe. Love the inability to breathe, its freakin sweet! :-D "

How I See It: Jello is sweet, yes. Orange especially. And, by "inability", I'm sure Christina meant "ability". If not, somebody should check up on her.

Dhani Jones
"(via @AndrewWK) Party tip: Follow your instinct even if it feels crazy. Do what it tells you to do. No matter what, take that risk today!"

How I See It: Probably the worst tip in the history of tip-giving.

Pat Fitzgerald
"Proud to announce that SEVEN 'Cats were nominated to be Academic All-Americans this year!!"

How I See It: And Northwestern is a favorite to win the Academic BCS Championship. Gotta take what you can get I guess.