Manny cheated. Who cares?!!!
- Sunday, May 10, 2009 6:00 PM
- Written By: Josh Bycel
Apparently, Manny Ramirez is not the most interesting man in the world. Manny "I don't always take performance enhancing drugs, but when I do, it's HCG."
Manny cheated! I know people who haven't been this pissed since Greedo shot first. (If you don't know the reference, you are clearly not a nerd and may have had sex before college. Gredo is the green bounty hunter Han Solo kills in the first Star Wars. When they re-released the movie, George Lucas changed it so Gredo shot first. Apparently this made Han more of a hero ... I think it made him more of a pussy.) Here is the scene, recreated using claymation characters:
So Manny cheated. Seriously, who cares? Look, I'm not saying we should be un-thinking drones (Giants fans) and welcome him back with open arms and dread-locked heads ... but are we really surprised? Here is the one main thing everyone is forgetting about this whole situation: This is not sports anymore, it's entertainment. The sooner people realize it, the happier they will be. As someone who has spent 10 years working in the entertainment business, I am here to tell you that sports and entertainment have become one and the same.
Would you care if you found out Jennifer Aniston had her breasts enlarged and nose done in order to be a bigger movie star? Guess what, she did. OMG. She felt she needed that to be at the top of her game, and it worked. All you suckers went to see her and Owen Wilson get their acting asses handed to them by a dog.
I was once a writer and producer of a show where the star needed to lose weight. Instead of working out or dieting, they decided to eat a tapeworm. Yeah, that's right, a tapeworm! This is a huge, A-list star. The Hollywood equivalent of Manny Ramirez. She ate the tape worm, lost the weight and got paid. How is that so different than what Manny or A-Rod or Barry or Jason (Giambi but I liked the one name thing I had going) have done?
If you still don't want to believe me, let me give you two words: Keith and Richards. We all love the Stones. And their tours still gross millions and millions of dollars. Do you know what it takes to get Keith Richards ready to play a show. I don't have 100 percent proof, but I'm thinking it involves more shots than a Russian wedding.
From now on, do yourself a favor. When you watch sports, remember, it's no different than going to a concert, play or movie. If you have the same standards for your favorite sports star that you do your favorite movie or rock star, you'll be smarter and happier.
