Why Can't Sports Be More Like "Entourage?"
- Tuesday, July 21, 2009 9:37 PM
- Written By: Josh Bycel
I'm just going to come out and say it ... "Entourage" sucks.
Okay, so yeah, I'm a comedy writer and maybe I'm bitter that the show keeps getting nominated for Emmys and winning Golden Globes. But seriously it's just not good. It's flat-out NF ... which roughly translates to: not funny. The acting is b-a-d bad. Last year when Vince got fired from that movie because he was a horrible actor, I almost wanted to give the writers credit for being somewhat meta and making a statement about Adrien Grenier's acting.
And the storytelling? Lazy and borderline offensive. A friend of mine said the best thing about stories on the show ... "Just when you think they are going to zig, they zig." Enough said. Here is an awesome video from College Humor depicting exactly what I'm talking about.
See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
However, this does help with my latest post. Because on "Entourage" the good guys almost always win. Vince always gets the girl or the part. E always comes out on top. Ari always makes the deal. But in sports it just doesn't work that way. Take the three golf majors played so far this year. Last week, old man Tom Watson was about to win the British Open. At 59! It would have been the most incredible sports story since Michael J. Fox turned into a wolf and led his basketball team to the championship. By the way, I don't understand how people in his high school were just suddenly cool with a classmate becoming a wolf. Just because he could play a little hoop, all of the sudden the hot chicks were all over him and his buddy was selling "I Heart Wolf" T-shirts. If a dude in my high school became a wolf, people would have freaked the F out.
Anyway, back to my point. Everyone wanted to see Watson win. But what happened ... he crapped the bed on the 18th, then ran out of gas in the playoff and lost to some dude named Cink. If this was "Entourage", Vince would have sank the putt, then nailed the hottest chick in the crowd, while E and Ari sold the rights to ABC for 20 million. Turtle would have put out a new Vinny Chase Golf Shoe and Drama would have starred in the TV movie.
Remember the U.S. Open ... Phil Mickelson, with his wife suffering from cancer, was about to win. And if he didn't, then there was David Duval, basically back from the dead, ready to snatch away the victory. Everybody was pulling for one of those guys. But no. It didn't happen and Danny Glover, or something like that, won the tournament. And what about the Masters, way back in April. Kenny Perry -- one of the all-time good guys on the tour, beloved Ryder Cup player, American -- has the Green Jacket in his sights. A perfect way to cap a career. Nope. Some guy named Angel won it. That's right, a GUY NAMED ANGEL. That's not the "Entourage" way.
I could go on and on with sporting events that didn't work out the way everyone wanted. Tampa Bay Rays winning the World Series. The Arizona Cardinals winning the Super Bowl. Rafa Nadal being healthy enough to play Federer in the French Open and Wimbledon. Hell, there is a guy named Lance pedaling his ass off in France right now ... how cool would it be to see him win? But he probably won't.
To quote Vincent Chase, "Don't worry guys, it always works out." I wish sports would listen to Vin more often.
