Backfield Penetration

In early September 2007, I was less than two months shy of my 30th birthday, a queen of spades short of a full deck, and a dollar short of a buck fifty. The Phils were 7 games behind the Mets with 17 games left to play.

Having won the NL East just once in the previous 24 years, it looked like the Phillies would have to wait yet another year to have a chance. Then, the unbelievable happened. The Mets suffered the most epic collapse in MLB history and the Phillies stopped losing.

Fast-forward two years to last night when, ho hum, the Phightin Phils won their THIRD CONSECUTIVE NL East Championship!

I think that it’s very important to not take this success for granted. We’re Phillies fans. We’re not promised s**t. Mrs. Chairman and I reflected on this when we went to the bar to watch the end of the game.

This season was a tumultuous one for the Phils, marred by poor situational hitting, awful relief pitching and excruciating defeats. Yet, here we are again, the defending WFCs, 2-to-1 Vegas favorites to win the pennant. It’s been a beautiful ride.



Everybody knows the main reasons the Phils are here -- the prolific offensive numbers from the middle of the order, the trade deadline acquisitions of Cliff Lee and Pedro, terrific team defense and a World F***ing Championship pedigree. That said, in order to go 162 games and win a division title, there are many little breaks and success stories that need to transpire.

Here are Backfield Penetration’s unsung reasons the Phils won the division again:

Whatever’s in Uncle Chollie’s pants

It’s been a colostomy bag in the past. This year, it seems to be just a couple of grapefruit sized cojones. Charlie Manuel is a manager in every sense of the word. What a brilliant job he’s done with these guys. Charlie is a huge pro wrestling fan. Much like Randy Savage or Ric Flair, in the face of adversity, Charlie Manuel’s Phillies always get off the mat.

Jayson Werth’s flavor saver

Like Samson and his hair, LL Cool Jay derives immense power from his soul patch. Perhaps Pat Gillick’s best free agent signing, Werth has 35 HRs and is on the precipice of both 100 runs and RBIs. On the side, Werth moonlights as WWE superstar Edge. It’s no wonder Uncle Chollie loves him so.



Rodrigo, contigo, mi amigo

Lost amidst the acclaim that Cliff Lee and Pedro have received is the excellent job that Rodrigo Lopez did in July. After the Phils’ brutal June swoon (4-14 b/w June 12 & July 2), Lopez was brought in to fill Brett Myers' spot in the rotation. He went 3-1 with a 3.62 era as a starter in July. The Phils were 4-1 in his starts. If they win it all again, I hope that people recognize the contribution he made and give him a rousing ovation at the ring ceremony.

Chooooooch!

On a team filled with superstars, all Carlos Ruiz does is call great game after great game, play stellar defense behind the plate and get clutch hits. What a great guy! Dingdingding! Love that Chooch!

Raul Ibanez and his egg shaped head



Rauuuuuuul is one of the best free agent pickups ever. The giant wad of tobacco in his cheek makes his head look almost as funny shaped as Placido Polanco’s.



Who was the leftfielder on the World Series team? I forget ...

Chan Ho Park’s beard

He won the fifth starter's job out of spring training and s**t the bed out of the gates. When he lost his job to J.A. Happ a month into the season, Chan Ho was pissed. He could have gone a lot of different directions with that anger, but Chan Ho, professional that he is, took the anger and became the Phillies most dependable reliever. He has also, this season, grown perhaps, the best Asian-guy beard ever. It looks like Random Task’s beard in Austin Powers. Hooray for you, sir.

The Mets: What a joke!

The Phils had won four times in eighteen games and were in a virtual first-place tie with the Marlins when the Mets came to town on July 3rd. The Phils proceeded to sweep their rivals in dominating fashion. They never looked back.

What a joke of a franchise the Mets are. Before the season even started, Bernie Madoff took hundreds of millions of their free agent dollars, a foreshadowing of their 2009 season.

Their new ballpark is a ridiculous monstrosity that pays more homage to the New York baseball Giants, Brooklyn Dodgers and Jackie Robinson than to the Mets two World Series teams. The seats are green and the security guards wear Phillies' maroon? Where the hell is the blue and orange? Why are there so many obstructed view seats in the outfield? Why are the fences so stupid and far out there? On a positive note: you gotta love the Shake Shack!

Oh yeah, nice organizational philosophy Omar Minaya, “Hi. I’m Omar Minaya. Let’s sign all Latinos. They’re the best players in baseball today. That’ll create a winning ballclub and a tight-knit clubhouse atmosphere.”

How does this guy still have a job? Ha! Love it. Couldn’t happen to a better fan base.