Backfield Penetration

Here’s what's up …

-"The Hills" featured a band called Morning Wood the other night. What I had this morning was not normal morning wood. It was a raging, playoff-gameday boner. I was harder than Mike Piazza at the Barney's warehouse sale. Wooooooooooo!

-I can totally start a column by talking about my piece. I’m not showing a picture, am I? Hmmm …

-Is it 2:37pm yet? I hope that the Phils aren’t running into the same buzzsaw they ran into in ’07. Hopefully that WFC pedigree means something.

-That Twins-Tigers elimination game last night was one of the most exciting baseball games I’ve ever seen. It was sloppy, but both teams left everything on the field.

-It was a great idea to build the Metrodome with a white roof because it totally has given the Twinkies home-field advantage over the years. They didn’t lose a home game (or win a road game) in their two World Series wins. I wonder if something will be built into their new home that will give them an advantage like that?

-If I were a Tigers fan I’d be PISSED. Home plate ump Randy Marsh blew so many calls, the most egregious error being the missed HBP on Inge with the bases juiced. Oof. He was terrible on balls and strikes too. I hope that he’s not umping any more postseason games.

-My wife, a relative baseball newb, thought that the missed HBP was "f***ing bulls***" and she doesn't understand why baseball doesn't institute replay to take the human error out of the game. She's right. The result of that incredible game shouldn't have hinged on Randy Marsh's declining eyesight.

-It’s amazing that Trey and Matt named Stan’s dad 'Randy Marsh.' To a fan of the obscure minutiae of baseball, this is almost as good a name as 'George Michael Bluth.' Randy Marsh has become one of the best characters on South Park over the last few years.



-This Braylon Edwards sh*t is hilarious! You couldn’t write it any better. “There’s only room for one of us in this town, LeBron. I’m going to punch your 130 lb friend so I can get traded to New York.”

-What’s the deal with NFL wideouts anyway? If egomania was currency, these guys would be richer than the Elders of Zion.

-Eric Mangini is going through problems the way I go through Valtrex. He might be one and done in Cleveland.

-Elders of Zion? Valtrex? Is this a sports column or a vaudeville act?

-Who knew that Marvin Harrison was Stringer Bell? He was always thought of as a WR who did things the right way. It’s crazy that he’s a stone cold thug.

-The Nightmare on Elm Street trailer doesn’t look scary but the Shutter Island trailer sure does.

-I’m looking forward to seeing Cold Souls. I think Paul Giamatti is the best. Enjoy this 'Classic Cut' of me interviewing him at The Illusionist premiere.



-I’m glad that I picked Aaron Rodgers. He’s the No. 2 scoring player in fantasy, and is going to be chucking it up all season long. Picking Eddie Royal two picks ahead of Vincent Jackson? Not so much.

-I hope they bring back the 'Saved by Zero' commercials. Saved by zero, Saved by zero …

-Will Michael Crabtree’s signing make the surprising Niners any better? It should. Shaun Hill doesn't have a real WR threat besides him.

-After watching the first three episodes of Season 1, I’m sad to say that Mad Men is f***ing boooooring. Don’t believe the hype. Watch Dewey Cox five times instead.



I’ll tell you what else …

-Flyboys are looking great! They gave the eventual Stanley Cup champs a run for their money in the playoffs last year. With the addition of Chris Pronger, they're scary, especially since Carter and Richards should really hit their stride this year.

-I didn’t see the Curb with the Seinfeld cast, but that road head episode was wonderful. I’ve watched most Curb episodes because I know how good it is, but LD’s is not my favorite sensibility. He’s too mean. I like nice guys like Adam Sandler and John C. Reilly.



-If Ric Flair ran for Senate as a Republican, I’d break party lines to vote for him. If Linda McMahon ran for Senate as a Democrat, I’d break party lines to vote against her. Frankly, if I witnessed Ric Flair murder someone, I probably wouldn't testify against him.

-Hey Colorado ... If you want to be the man, you've got to beat the man. Wooooooo!



-It's a good time to be a Philly sports fan! Dingding!