Hitting The Cutoff Man

Baseball is the only sport in which the lineup has an order. In basketball, football, hockey, soccer, etc., the starting lineup is just a collection of players who have different roles. But in baseball, not only does each player have a position, he also has a number.

That number isn't a rank, of course. No, there's more nuance than that. Everybody who follows baseball learns early on the basic lineup tenets: The leadoff batter is fast, the No. 2 guy "handles the bat well," the No. 3 guy is the best hitter on the team, the cleanup spot is for a power hitter, and so on. As our understanding of the game has increased, lineup optimization has become a hot topic. It turns out those tenets perhaps aren't the smartest, although the impact on a team's record is fairly minimal.

However legitimate or intelligent, certain players tend to get attached to a certain spot in the batting order, much like an actor who can't shake a particular role. And it becomes part of their identity as a player. Because of this, I thought it would be interesting to look at the best hitter throughout baseball history at each lineup spot. To qualify, I'm going to say the hitter has to be in the top 10 all time in plate appearances at that lineup spot, because what's a list like this without some arbitrary qualifier? Thanks to the Baseball-Reference Play Index for the research.

1. Rickey Henderson -- Rickey says Rickey is the obvious choice. Henderson took 13,122 of his 13,346 plate appearances as a leadoff batter, batting there 2,412 more times than anyone else. He ranks 14th all time in wins above replacement, and his .822 leadoff OPS is better than anyone else's in the top 38 in PAs at that spot. Henderson also had all the qualities expected of a leadoff man: Getting on base (second all time in walks, lifetime .401 OBP), stealing bases (first all time) and scoring runs (first all time). He also had good pop for a leadoff guy, topping 20 homers four times and setting a major league record for career home runs to lead off a game.

Honorable mention -- Craig Biggio
Active player -- Ichiro Suzuki

2. Derek Jeter -- Believe me when I say I'm not a Jeter Freak. I respect the guy a lot as a player, but I'm not a Yankees fan, I don't fawn over him and I'll happily tell you he's overrated (considering the hype). But the guy clearly is still an obvious Hall of Famer and one of the best shortstops of all time. He's also racked up the sixth-most PAs of anyone in the No. 2 spot, although he's hit mostly leadoff the past two seasons. As a No. 2 batter, Jeter has hit .315/.385/.458 and ranks fourth in hits, fifth in doubles, third in home runs and first in RBI from that spot.

Honorable mention -- Ryne Sandberg
Active player -- Jeter

3. Babe Ruth -- Stan Musial actually has almost 1,000 more PAs in this spot than anyone else and a .999 OPS in those opportunities. I love Stan the Man, but this can't be anyone other than the Sultan of Swat, who ranks eighth in PAs but first in home runs, RBI and walks. As a No. 3 hitter, the Bambino hit a ridiculous .346/.482/.703. Simply the most devastating offensive force of all time.

Honorable mention -- Stan Musial
Active player -- Albert Pujols

4. Lou Gehrig -- I bet most people would not guess the top two players in career PAs at the cleanup spot: Eddie Murray and Fred McGriff. Gehrig comes in fourth and bats behind Ruth, just as he often did in real life. The Iron Horse famously played in 2,130 consecutive games from 1925-39, and a large percentage of those came in the No. 4 spot. Gehrig had a 1.100 OPS from the cleanup spot and ranks first in home runs, RBI and walks and second in hits and triples.

Honorable mention -- Manny Ramirez
Active player -- Ramirez

5. Jimmie Foxx -- Foxx isn't nearly as well known as some other sluggers of his era, like the previous two guys in this lineup, but he was a tremendously fearsome hitter. He led the league in OBP three times and slugging five times, hit 58 home runs in 1932 and finished his career with 534 dingers. As a fifth-place hitter, Foxx slugged .621 and hit 203 homers, 40 more than anyone else. He also leads No. 5 hitters in walks and RBI.

Honorable mention -- Harry Heilmann
Active player -- Jim Thome

6. Tony Lazzeri -- Damn. If I knew there were going to be so many Yankees on this list (and I probably should have known), I wouldn't have done it. Oh well. Lazzeri was a premiere offensive second baseman of the 1920s and 30s who was put in the Hall of Fame by the Veterans Committee in 1991. As a sixth hitter, he ranks in the top five all time in walks, hits, doubles, triples and RBI and put up an .839 OPS.

Honorable mention -- Gene Tenace
Active player -- Jorge Posada

7. Gabby Hartnett -- This one wasn't even close, as Hartnett rose well above an understandably mediocre group. Hartnett, a Cubs catcher in the 1920s and 30s, also batted sixth and eighth a lot but racked up 2,382 PAs in the No. 7 hole, eighth-most all time. Here's the strange thing: Hartnett's most times batting seventh came in 1927, when he pretty clearly was the Cubs' fourth-best hitter. So why was he batting seventh so much? Was this something Cubs fans were upset about at the time? It would be interesting to know. Despite playing catcher, Harnett boasts by far the best line among primary seventh hitters, at .301/.377/.494.

Honorable mention -- Jimmy Dykes
Active player -- Adrian Beltre

8. Rick Ferrell -- It's not a surprise that guys who hit eighth a whole bunch were not particularly good hitters. Ferrell comes the closest, as he's the only one with a career OPS+ anywhere near 100 (average). A catcher for the Browns, Red Sox and Senators, Ferrell actually made the Hall of Fame via the Veterans Committee in 1984, was a seven-time All Star and set the big league record for career games caught (later broken by Carlton Fisk). In nearly 3,500 plate appearances as a No. 8 hitter, Ferrell only hit six home runs. But he leads No. 8 hitters with 470 walks, compared with only 150 strikeouts, and his .370 OBP was quite good.

Honorable mention -- Al Lopez
Active player -- Alex Gonzalez

9. Omar Vizquel -- The all-time leader in PAs in the last spot in the order, by more than a 1,000, is none other than Vizquel's current manager, Ozzie Guillen. Vizquel of course is known for his defense (11 career gold gloves at shortstop) and isn't a very good hitter (career OPS+ of 83), but there's not much competition here.

Honorable mention -- Mike Bordick
Active player -- Vizquel
Pitcher -- Red Ruffing. As a No. 9 hitter, Rick Ferrell's brother Wes hit 37 home runs with an .830 OPS, numbers no other pitcher can match. But he's only 53rd in PAs. Ruffing, who played from 1924-47, is third in pitcher PAs from the No. 9 hole and hit a very respectable .271/.306/.399 with 34 home runs. His 229 RBI from that spot are 42 more than any other pitcher.

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On Sunday I took in a Class A minor league game between the Asheville Tourists and Savannah Sand Gnats at Asheville's historic McCormick Stadium, which opened in 1924 and, according to my game program, has seen the likes of Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Mel Ott, Hank Greenberg, Dizzy Dean, Jackie Robinson, Duke Snider, Pee Wee Reese and Willie Stargell play games there over the years.

Asheville won the game, 9-4, but Savannah is the clear victor in another respect: The Sand Gnats is clearly the superior name.

Minor league baseball is all about charming hokeyness and pizazz -- the attention-grabbing promotions, the sometimes bizarre between-innings entertainment. It's all part of the show that attempts to make up for whatever the play on the field might lack. But to me, one of the best aspects of minor league ball is the team names. Not counting the lowest level rookie league teams, there are still more than 150 minor league organizations. What follows is a breakdown of the worst and best (and you might hear from the Sand Gnats again).

DQ'd, lack of effort Unfortunately there are a lot of the most boring sort of name out there -- a copy of the big club's moniker. I understand that in some cases, there is history involved (as well as branding), but to me this is unacceptable. At least try to be quirky and a little out there! A derisive shake of my head goes to the San Jose Giants, Iowa Cubs, Omaha Royals, Dunedin Blue Jays, Kinston Indians, etc. I'm also including too-close-to-ignore names like the Memphis Redbirds (a Cardinals affiliate).

Too mainstream Just because you didn't copy an MLB team, it doesn't put you in the clear. Some teams apparently thought they could get away with sharing names with teams in other major sports (Hagerstown Suns, Rochester Red Wings, High Desert Mavericks, Vancouver Canadians -- different spelling but close enough, Durham Bulls, Columbus Clippers, Harrisburg Senators, Boise Hawks, Ogden Raptors, Yakima Bears, Peoria Chiefs, Fresno Grizzlies). Others just lacked a creative spark (Lake Elsinore Storm, Buffalo Bisons, Dayton Dragons and Kane County Cougars, for example). In a perfect world, minor league names should be ones that don't exist anywhere else on the planet -- not at a high school, a college, in major league lacrosse, anywhere. -- EDIT: As a bunch of people are pointing out in the comments, several of these names, like the Bulls, existed before they were used by a pro team in another sport. I knew this and didn't mean to suggest the minor league team ripped off the pro team, but I don't think I was clear at all. The point was not to criticize the name selection, but simply point out that the names were no longer unique and therefore, less interesting.

Fake compound animal name division One naming strategy that seems to be favored in minor league baseball is to take a common, boring animal name and slap a modifier in front of it to make it unique. Usually the name that is created is not the name of an actual animal. For feline fanatics, you've got the River Cats, Rock Cats, Valley Cats, Mudcats and Hillcats, not to mention the Flying Tigers (which is a scary thought). If you're more of a canine kind of person, you can watch the Sea Dogs, Muckdogs, RiverDogs or RockHounds -- or the SeaWolves, if you're feeling more feral. Those with avian ardor might prefer the JetHawks, Silver Hawks, RedHawks (might be real) or Mud Hens. In addition, there are the BayBears and my favorite in this category, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs. Wikipedia says, "The name is a reference to pig iron, used in the manufacturing of steel, for which the Lehigh Valley region of Pennsylvania is world-renowned." But I prefer to think the team is trying to intimidate opponents with thoughts of bacon that breaks your teeth when you try to chew it.

OK, now let's get on to the main event: Our top 5. There is no exact template for a great minor league team name, but the best ones should be unique, off-kilter and a little weird. They could inspire intimidation -- or chuckles. There were lots of good choices, but here's my list.

5. Vermont Lake Monsters -- Anyone who has ever come across the History Channel show "MonsterQuest" whilst channel surfing can appreciate some cryptozoology. The Lake Monsters, who play in Burlington, Vermont, take their name and mascot from Champ, a monster who supposedly lives in Lake Champlain. In fact, the eternally disappointed team on MonsterQuest investigated Champ ("America's Loch Ness Monster") in its first episode. I don't recall seeing that one, but I'll go out on a limb and guess they didn't find him. And all they had to do was go to Centennial Field!

4. Jamestown Jammers -- Maybe I'm just a sucker for alliteration, but I like the way this one rolls off the tongue, as well as its multiple potential meanings. Does Jamestown put you in a jam with their offensive attack, do they mesmerize you with their groovy slow jams or do they make you too sticky to play well with assorted jellies and preserves? Considering their mascot is a scowling bunch of grapes holding a bat, I guess it's the latter. According to Wikipedia, the team changed its logo to the current version in 2006 and it "represents the strong tradition of grape-growing in Chautauqua County." Oh, and the team's mascot is a purple gorilla named Bubba Grape, the baseball ape. Just keep him away from your kids when he's flying high on a jam-infused sugar rush.

3. Montgomery Biscuits -- Unfortunately, the Biscuits do not play in the same league as the Jammers (mmmm ... biscuits and jam). But according to Wikipedia, fans at the team's games do have the pleasure of catching biscuits that are shot into the stands via air cannon. Much tastier than a T-shirt, I'd say. The mascot is some indeterminate creature named Big Mo, who is "a fuzzy and fun Biscuit Lovin Beast," and naturally weighs "more than a baker's dozen."

2. Albuquerque Isotopes -- If you are not a fan of classic TV cartoon comedies featuring yellow-hued characters, you can assume this name references New Mexico's rich history of nuclear science and enjoy the glorification of chemistry. Otherwise, you can appreciate the name as an homage. I say this is a great name for I am the Mayor of Albuquerque!

1. Savannah Sand Gnats -- Well, you knew this was coming. My first reaction to this name was an appropriate one: What the hell is a sand gnat? But apparently if you live on the Georgia coast, where Savannah is located, you are all too aware of them. This is because they bite. According to Georgia's Coastal Resources Division, "Sand gnats don't just puncture your skin like mosquitoes do. Instead they rip it open using sharp cutting teeth located on the mandible." On the other hand, they are, "... integral features of a healthy salt marsh ecosystem..." So the sand gnat is not well known, yet regionally appropriate and intimidating in its own way. Plus, their logo is a buff sand gnat with sunglasses swinging a bat, and their mascot is a goofy looking giant sand gnat named Gnate.

Honorable mentions -- Rancho Cucamonga Quakes (I like saying, "Rancho Cucamonga"); Las Vegas 51s (Cool name, but mascot looks like Jar Jar Binks); West Tennessee Diamond Jaxx (Logo is a prospector with a sweet mustache).

Dishonorable mentions -- Orem Owlz (Intentional misspellings are not cool); West Virginia Power (I'm imagining white hoods); Idaho Falls Chukars (named after a gamebird, aka a bird that is often hunted -- intimidating!).

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It's human nature to go with what you know. It's safe, it's comfortable, and even if you're ultimately disappointed, at least you know the nature and severity of that disappointment in advance. "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't," as the saying goes.

There are examples of this everywhere. People continue to vote for the same terrible politicians. They get back with ex-boyfriends and girlfriends and watch reruns of mediocre sitcoms. We're all guilty of these types of things -- it's difficult to avoid.

Baseball teams (which are of course run by humans ... I think) are the same way. For the most part, Organizations are getting smarter and smarter, thanks to advanced statistical analysis and various technological innovations, but some habits are hard to shake. And so we have what I'll call the "name value problem." (Creative!)

Take the St. Louis Cardinals. The Redbirds are fighting to keep pace with the Reds in the NL Central and have dealt with some bad breaks along the way, such as injuries to guys like David Freese, Kyle Lohse and Brad Penny and underperformance from others like Skip Schumaker and Brendan Ryan.

Other than swapping Ryan Ludwick for Jake Westbrook, St. Louis mostly has attempted to make up for these issues by recycling has-beens like Jeff Suppan, Aaron Miles, Randy Winn and now, Pedro Feliz. This strategy generally has been used instead of giving those at-bats or innings pitched to mostly unproven minor league players who probably could do at least as good, if not a better job. Only when a young player has instantly found huge success (like Jon Jay) has he been given a real shot to stick in the lineup.

Looking at Feliz specifically, what do the Cardinals see in him? Well, he has been a good defensive third baseman (13.7 UZR over the past three seasons), and with Freese out, that's something the Cards are lacking. But it's almost impossible to understate how bad of a hitter Feliz is. His .555 OPS this season is the worst of any MLB player with at least 300 plate appearances this season, "bolstered" by a .221 on-base percentage. When your OBP is a terrible batting average for a backup catcher, that's a bad sign. FanGraphs' wins above replacement metric, which accounts for defense, has Feliz being worth -1.5 wins this season, the worst in baseball.

This is all leading up to my point, which is: If Pedro Feliz was a 25-year-old named Fedro Peliz putting up the exact same .221/.243/.311 line and playing the exact same quality defense, the Cardinals would not even consider trading for him. If someone brought up the idea in a front office meeting, he immediately would be reassigned to "Designated Steak 'n Shake Delivery Boy."

But because this painfully terrible player is not Fedro Peliz, but Pedro Feliz, certified Veteran Who Knows What It Takes To Win, he is considered the answer to what ails the Cardinals.

Feliz better be glad he has his name, because it's probably the only reason he has a job.

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Although last night's "brawl" between the Cardinals and Reds started with comments from Brandon Phillips, escalated with a confrontation between Phillips and Yadier Molina and featured Johnny Cueto kicking Jason LaRue in the face, it was the two managers who were ejected from the game.

This was both a reasonable move on the part of the umpires, who would have had an extremely difficult task in deciding to eject certain players over others, as well as a fitting one.

Tony La Russa and Dusty Baker are two of the most accomplished and also controversial managers in the game. They both have enjoyed a lot of success but gone about it in different ways, and it's often said the two longtime rivals aren't exactly BFFs. Certainly this is not the first time their teams have clashed over the years.

So who would have the upper hand if this schism between skippers ever went to the next level? Let's take a look at the tale of the tape.

                    Dusty Baker                  Tony La Russa

Age                     61                              65

Real First Name         Johnnie                         Anthony

Hailing From            Riverside, CA                   Tampa, FL

Teams Managed           3 (SF, CHC, CIN)                3 (CHW, OAK, STL)

Managerial Record       1378-1263, .522 (17 seasons)    2615-2226, .536 (32 seasons)
  
World Series app/titles 1/0                             5/2

Career games as player  2039                            132

Positions               OF/1B                           2B/3B/SS

Career WAR              34.8                            -1.0

Playing size            6-2, 183                        6-0, 175 

Alternate profession    TV analyst                      Lawyer, animal rescuer

Book                    You Can Teach Hitting           Three Nights in August

Personality             Warm                            Prickly 

Dugout activity         Toothpick chewing               Scowling, Glowering

Managerial Quirk        Young pitcher abuse             Batting the pitcher 8th

Personal drama          Batboy son almost run over      DUI

Best player coached     Barry Bonds                     Albert Pujols

PED posterboy coached   Barry Bonds                     Mark McGwire/Jose Canseco

Beloved bad player      Neifi Perez                     Aaron Miles

Lineup weakness         Low OBP leadoff men             Pujols always hits 3rd

Bullpen strategy        Let starter go, blow out arm    Use > 6 relievers/inning

Key to success          Good players, magic toothpicks? Good players, Dave Duncan

Go-to uniform accessory Sweat bands                     Sunglasses

Probable weapon         Baseball bat                    Quick thinking

Fighting tactic         Swing away                      Changes constantly 

Victory spoils          Lifetime supply of toothpicks   Animals rescued from pound 

So, who ya got?

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So I finally got around to seeing Inception. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but since this isn't a movie blog, I'll leave an in-depth review to the professionals.

For anyone who doesn't know, the movie's title refers to the act (a critical plot point) of planting an idea deep within a person's subconscious, through dream manipulation. The goal is to have the person then produce that idea in a seemingly natural way, as if it is their own.

If I somehow came into possession of such an ability, like Leonardo DiCaprio's Dom Cobb, I probably would turn it on something closer to my heart than corporate espionage. If you haven't guessed already, that would be baseball. Let's face it -- there are some concepts in baseball that people within the game cannot seem to get through their skulls, no matter how logical. But what if, with your cliched heist team, you could invade the dreams of GMs, managers, writers, etc., and plant the seed that would make them realize (for example) that wins are a terrible way of evaluating pitcher performance? It wouldn't be as cool as, say, fighting a dude in an anti-gravity hotel hallway. But it would still be satisfying.

So everyone sit back, relax and make sure your totems are handy. Here is our dossier with a list of preliminary objectives:

Target: Producers at media outlets, such as MLB Network
Idea: Let's stop giving a pitcher's stats against a specific opposing team as if that's important information.
Background: I watch MLB Network a lot, and I love it. For one thing, there is 100 percent less John Kruk. On the other hand, there is 100 percent more Dan Plesac, but life is full of trade-offs. Anyway, in reference to a game the next day, you often the host say something like, "Freddy Garcia has owned the Tigers in his career, compiling an 18-6 mark against them." While true, this tells us almost nothing about what we can expect from Garcia in this start. This is not difficult to grasp. For one thing, Garcia in 2010 is a different pitcher than in any other year of his career. For another thing, rosters change so much these days that the Tigers as we know them now are wildly different from the Tigers even a few years ago. The Tigers of April 28, 1999, (Garcia's first career start against Detroit) featured no players still with the organization and only one (Brad Ausmus) who is still even an active MLB player. Even if the roster was the same, all of the Detroit players would be totally different than they were in 1999 anyways. So considering that game as part of a group of games through which to evaluate the White Sox' chances against the Tigers on Thursday is insane. And in most cases when people do this, the sample size of innings is small enough to be largely meaningless. Let's save our breath.

Target: Baseball fans
Idea: "The Wave" is dumb.
Background: There are many ways to be entertained, cheer and support your team at a baseball game. The Wave is one of the worst. It has no meaning and only serves to annoy when it comes around just as a pitch is being thrown, leaving you with the choice to either miss the action or take part in a ridiculous ritual just so you can see. Figure out some other way to achieve whatever it is The Wave does for you.

Target: Albert Pujols
Idea: I should remain with the St. Louis Cardinals for the rest of my career, in return for a fair salary that is affordable for the team without preventing its front office from acquiring other talented players.
Background: Pujols' contract expires after this season (St. Louis holds a 2011 team option for $16 million, which even a complete lunatic would exercise). If he does not sign a new deal with the Cards, a certain blogger who occasionally uses popular movies as a gimmick for posts might throw himself off a bridge. He undoubtedly wouldn't be the only one.

There are so many other potential targets for inception out there: Frank and Jamie McCourt, any number of mostly incompetent general managers, people in charge of the music and concessions at stadiums, members of the Baseball Writers Association of America who base their MVP voting largely on RBI totals, and announcers who use the term "fisted" to describe a weak hit off the handle of a bat. But an architect can design only so many realistic dreamscapes at a time, so we'll have to pace ourselves.

In the meantime, any other suggestions?

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