There's Something About Brett Favre
- Tuesday, August 18, 2009 11:50 PM
- Written By: Joel Huerto
Brett Favre is now a Minnesota Viking. Packer Nation is in a state of shock and Vince Lombardi must be rolling around in his grave.
The Favre saga played out like a bad Hollywood script. He's like that old, washed up action hero who simply refuses to die. He's Sylvester Stallone in all those "Rocky" movies. He's Bruce Willis in "Die Hard." He's Harrison Ford in "Indiana Jones." Just when you think he's done, he keeps coming back for sequels.
In the latest installment of Brett Favre Reloaded, he announced on Tuesday that he officially unretired for the second time in two years and signed a two-year contract with the Vikings, the same team he held hostage for months before finally saying, "I do. I do want to come back, Chilly." Chilly is his pet name for Vikings head coach Brad Childress. I have a nickname for Favre. How about Liar Liar?
"I did it for all the right reasons," said the three-time NFL MVP during his news conference. "If people don't understand that, then I'm sorry."
Could one of the reasons be exacting revenge on his beloved Green Bay Packers? Favre says it's not about revenge. Yeah, right. His nose grew an inch when he said that. This is the same guy who said he was done last year and the same guy who told the New York Jets he was done this year. Other than winning a Super Bowl, Favre's return is all about beating the Packers and rubbing it in the face of Packers GM Ted Thompson, who has been unceremoniously dubbed the villain in this whole Favre drama.
Besides the obvious fact that he still feels like he can play and be able add to his legacy, I'm guessing another reason Favre came back was because he grew tired of having ESPN's Rachel Nichols and the NFL Network's Scott Hansen camping outside of his house in Hattiesburg, Miss., as well as ESPN's Chris Mortensen tweeting, texting and calling him every other day.
Favre ended all the rumors and speculation when he boarded a plane to Minneapolis on Tuesday and drove to Eden Prairie, Minn., to meet with his new coaches and practice with his new teammates, who all seem to be toeing the company line and have nothing but nice things to say about their new 39-year-old starting quarterback.
It is a move straight out of a diva's diary. I'm retired ... No, I'm not ... I'm retired ... No, I'm not ... I'm retired ... No, I'm not. His back-and-forth indecision is something a 14-year-old girl would do when she goes to the mall and sends a text message to a friend to help her decide whether she wants the purple dress or the green dress. OMG, Brett! OMG!
This is exactly what Thompson and Coach Mike McCarthy went through last year when Favre couldn't decide if he wanted to remain a Packer. When Thompson and McCarthy made the decision for him, Favre ran out the door kicking and screaming as if his mom told him he can't play with his friends. It was unbelievably childish for a man who has been in the league for almost 20 years.
If things don't work out in Minnesota, he can easily change his mind and play somewhere else. Dallas, anyone? Oakland? San Francisco? Actually, the Bay Area would be a perfect landing spot for Favre since Mary Jensen (played by Cameron Diaz in "There's Something About Mary") said in the movie that she's a 49ers fan. Remember Mary? The perfect gal pal who loves to have a beer and go to ballgames, and almost went to the prom with Ted (not the Packers' GM Ted Thompson) before a certain zipper incident turned the whole town upside down.
Quarterbacks always gets the girl at the end, right?
OK. Maybe that's not how it happened. As a matter of fact, Ted (played by Ben Stiller), got the girl at the end and Favre was left standing at the door with con man Pat Healy (Matt Dillon) and Mary's ex-boyfriend, Woogie (Chris Elliott).
When the season starts, Favre will likely feel the weight of an entire state on his shoulders, and anything less than a Super Bowl appearance would be considered a failure. But Favre should be able to handle that heavy burden. It would be similar to carrying big, fat Warren on his back. And when I say Warren, I'm referring to Mary's retarded brother and not retired NFL lineman Warren Sapp.
Good luck, Brett Faaav-ra. Hope that old arm holds up.
