Texas Two Step

The players don’t want to play. And the fans aren’t going to watch.

So what is the point of the Pro Bowl?

After six months of taking a beating in practice and games, the Pro Bowl is the worst all-star game in all of professional sports.

It is understandable why these men would not want to play. And to make matters even worse, it is no longer a week-long luxurious trip in Hawaii as the game was moved to the site of the Super Bowl beginning this year.

A “Sporting News” columnist wrote that they call it the Pro Bowl because you only need to be a professional to be able to play. I could not agree more. There are seven Pro Bowl quarterbacks. Originally named to the roster was Peyton Manning who is playing in the Super Bowl and Tom Brady and Philip Rivers who are “nursing injuries.” Even the first alternate Ben Roethlisberger dropped out.

So leading the offense on Sunday for the AFC will be the combination of Matt Schaub, Vince Young and David Garrard.

In a sport that requires hard hits and constant aggressiveness, the Pro Bowl allows neither. There are injuries in every football game every week during the regular season and even in the preseason.

There is no reason to have the best players out there making that same risk. The solution is simple (or at least it is in my eye). Let’s get rid of the Pro Bowl.

The NFL should name Pro Bowl rosters based on whatever crazy system they have. And then there should be no game. Let the real Pro Bowlers have their honor and then that’s it. Nothing else.

If people really want to see their favorite athletes one more time, how about letting them have a charity softball or basketball game?

There are three kinds of people that are in every fantasy football league and no matter which one you are, the other two piss you off terribly.

1. Those Guys ...
a. who in late June continuously reload the webpage on every sports site available waiting for the “Click Here to Join” link.
b. who after signing up for nearly a dozen drafts spent all their time doing research. This ranges from buying every fantasy preview ever made to following Plaxico Burress to the club and taking a bullet for the man to make sure he would be available every Sunday.
c. who end up watching reruns of every preseason game on the NFL Network to scout the first through third strings.
d. who spend the regular season glued to NFL Sunday Ticket to track stats and watch the most pointless and boring games just hoping that Brandon Jacobs is the one who gets the ball.
e. who after Week One have immediately picked up the backup quarterback to the superstar who had a season-ending injury or the one running back who surprised the world with a 200-yard, three-touchdown game.
f. who repeat the same process every week and usually end up toward the top of the league, but come playoff time, they usually fall to These Guys.

2. These guys ...
a. who casually sign up for one league and buy a magazine to prepare for their draft. They love the game and know all about it, but are not too obsessed. These guys will survive if they miss a week of games and will not have nightmares just if they lose one week’s matchup.
b. who always seem to end up on top. c. who always seem to catch whatever good luck that is always part of fantasy football.
d. who once the regular season starts will watch a couple games every Sunday and occasionally check to see how their players are doing. If Eli Manning hands it off to Ahmad Bradshaw rather than Brandon Jacobs for the final touchdown, these guys will be able to shake it off.
e. who keep up with their teams and adjust them regularly and make moves when needed.
f. who always seem to come away with winning the league when Those Guys have a tough fantasy playoffs because all their stars decide to take a week off. But most of the times, These Guys only make the playoffs because of That Guy.

3. That Guy (and there are sometimes more than one in the league) ...
a. is the one that people just cannot stand.
b. signs up for way too many leagues, but ends up never checking any of them.
c. plays just to draft teams and hopes that maybe one of them will end up being in the top half of the league’s standings.
d. does not watch too much football and if he knows who Brandon Jacobs is, he has no clue when Jacobs is even playing.
e. has a roster full of injured players because he never checks his team. That Guy also goes risky with some of his drafts hoping that maybe Michael Vick will be a fantasy stud.
f. But overall, That Guy gets into the hype of fantasy football in August, but once November comes around, he is already starting to get ready for next year’s fantasy baseball season.

Conclusion:

Those Guys hate the other two because they feel that everyone should be as into it as possible and if they are not, then they should not be playing.

These Guys feel that Those Guys are obsessed and That Guy should not even be playing.

That Guy just hates the other two groups because he always finish below them in the standings.