MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

Shaquille O'Neal
"an i beat @justinbieber at a danceoff? i got shaqgrooves http://bit.ly/ShaqVsJustinBieber #shaqvs tonite abc 9/8 c"

How I See It: Not if Bieber’s been taking lessons from Aaron Carter. How about a 10-year anniversary one-on-one rematch with Aaron soon for your show?

Ian Poulter
"Do I have the Ryder cup etched into the side of my head."

How I See It: This is what makes European golfers so much more exciting. Do you think Jim Furyk and Steve Stricker are sitting around thinking about doing the same thing as Poulter? I think not.

Brad Gilbert
"shazza and groth best womens match today should be some major hitting in this match"

How I See It: When is Brad Gilbert going to stop hitting on young women’s tennis players?

Mo Williams
"What Michelle Wie doing in Cleveland?"

How I See It: Relax, Mo, she’s just visiting. She’ll let you be the new king of Cleveland if you really want to that badly.

Paula Creamer
"Getting nails done and hair cut. Today is what you would call paula day"

How I See It: So that pink golf ball does indeed reflect your personality.

Antonio Pierce
"RT @wingoz: perhaps this is why Peyton never missed a game: Giants put Jim Sorgi on injured reserve, ending his season"

How I See It: Of all people to comment about injuries hurting the Giants. Thank you so much for taking care of Plaxico’s leg! You’re a life saver.

Venus Williams
"So happy to get the win last night! Don't forget to check out my eleven dresses on giltgroupeom/eleven they're going fast!"

How I See It: Advertising your personal company after a win? Must have gone to the Ron Artest School of Advertising.

Glen Davis
"Man chilling at the doctors office!! I hate chilling in the doctors office!! They take to long!! I think I might punch the doctor!! Lol"

How I See It: Good thing the Celtics just signed Jermaine O’Neal. He might have some tips for Davis on who not to punch.

Hakim Warrick
"Rise and Grind ppl...."

How I See It: Jesse Heussner was kind enough to point this out yesterday with Jameer Nelson’s tweet. Is the entire NBA mocking Gus Johnson’s signature rise and fire line?

LeBron James
"Good morning y'all. Just wanna thank all my fans cause without u guys there's no me! #amazinguare"

How I See It: Dude, you still just don’t get it.

Mohamed Massaquoi
"Eleven Days Left to Nominate Your Hero. Visit www.clevelandheroes.com"

How I See It: As great as this is, Mohamed should know that everyone in Cleveland has the same hero: LeBron James. Oh wait ...

Rudy Gay
"Ima be able to get braids when I get back to the states"

How I See It: Not to sound like a fashion expert, but I’m not so sure if Rudy and braids go together. Zach Randolph on the other hand ...

Russell Westbrook
"just woke up from my pre game nap.. big game tonight against brazil...letsss gett it!!"

How I See It: Let’s just hope that the United States is awake early in this game.

Stewart Cink
"I changed my profile to reflect new iron shafts and wedge lineup."

How I See It: I can always count on Stewart to deliver an entertaining tweet early in the day.

Jameer Nelson
"Rise and grind people! Who has been in the gym already?"

How I See It: I’m not sure about the expression “rise and grind.” It’s like a weird mix of the basketball term “find and grind” (a way coaches teach players to box out) and Gus Johnson’s catchphrase “rise and fire.”

Steven Jackson
"I miss out on 30min of sleep. I thought I had a meeting this morning. Get here and I don't. Smh"

How I See It: Can’t really blame S-Jax. I’d be clamoring for sleep as well if I was my team’s best runner, receiver, return man, and very likely, its best passer, blocker and defender too.

Joel Hanrahan
"This show about Alabama football on espn2 is awful!!!"

How I See It: Wow, that shocks me so much, especially since Nick Saban is so eccentric and personable.

Trent Shelton
"Why hype yourself up to standards you can't live up to! Better to be underrated to be overrated."

How I See It: That statement didn’t resonate with a single member of the New York Jets.

Darnell Dockett
"Who up right night , I got a problem!"

How I See It: And his name is Matt Leinart.

LeBron James
"Just landed back home and ran into @mogotti2 and the fam. Always good to see family."

How I See It: LeBron’s taking his talents to his house to see his family.

Golden Tate
"I want a pet lion when I grow up! Can I buy one from the petco in Africa ?"

How I See It: Golden broke into a doughnut store at 3 a.m. Can we possibly trust him with a pet lion?

Blake Griffin
"The greater danger for most men lies, not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but setting our aim too low and achieving the mark"

How I See It: I'm pretty sure the greater danger for you was getting drafted by the Clippers.

Andre Iguodala
"Actually the context I used it in, I spelled it right... I think I'm einstien, english major... I can spell, player hater! @tonyatea"

How I See It: I'd like to see you spell "Krzyzewski" for your Team USA teammates or "Jrue Holiday" for your 76ers teammates. But first, try spelling "Einstein" correctly.

Andy Murray
"Breakfast=bagel, an omlette, yoghurt and fruit. If your interested. Which you might not be."

How I See It: Yeah, not interested. While we're on the subject of food, though, here's a tip: When you're in New York for the U.S. Open, make sure Rex Ryan doesn't come by and steal your food.

John Calipari
"Do I need to start teaching how to drive along with the Dribble Drive?"

How I See It: I bet Tyreke Evans wishes you did when you guys were still at Memphis.

Michael Huff
"My parents need to hurry up and get here so they can go grocery shoppin, cook, and clean my place"

How I See It: When you're a Raider, you regress not only as a football player, but as a person too.

Serena Williams
"Hey guys slow twitter day....."

How I See It: Tell me about it.

Sidney Rice
"New blog... Sidneyrice18.com"

How I See It: It looks like Rice’s hip surgery has left him desperate for things to do.

Chad Ochocinco
"Me and baby Carlos jamming to Slique Song addicted http://bit.ly/c6MvEp"

How I See It: Chad rarely fails to amaze me. I don’t know if I’m more shocked that he bought the baby Carlos shirt or that he can actually roller skate backwards.

Jozy Altidore
"What's up people? 24 is an amazing tv show. Jack Bauer is no joke!"

How I See It: Yeah, we realize it’s a great TV show. You’re about nine years late on the Jack bandwagon.

Chris Bosh
"Training = pain"

How I See It: Creating super-team = annoying for NBA

Ricky Williams
"Commonly asked question...here's the answer: No more dreads for me. Simple as that. They served a purpose for me then, but no longer."

How I See It: No worries. Chris Johnson is rocking the dreadlocks now. They seem to have worked for him last season ...

Braylon Edwards
"Ok enough serious tweets for the day...every1 tweet @OGOchoCinco & @Lfitzgerald11 tell them how much better than them I am on Madden11 lol"

How I See It: Ochocinco and Fitzgerald each had 1,000-plus receiving yards last season. You didn’t even hit 700. Oh yeah, I heard that players with heavy-duty beards automatically get minus one on their overall rating too.

Tony Hawk
"Found this pic in my phone. Posting it = revenge on my son for making me fat. He could be in a new Austin Powers: http://post.ly/tWix"

How I See It: Ha ha ha, nothing better than a father publicly humiliating his son.

Darnell Dockett
"Having a productive day, just talked to kevin mawae NFLPA about next year lock out! Smh if yall only knew why there will be NO FOOTBALL!"

How I See It: This makes me cry. So much. Every day.

Pete Carroll
"just finished a wednesday-type practice since the game's a day earlier this week... a big day for us! week's flying by!"

How I See It: What's a Wednesday-type practice under Pete Carroll? I can't remember if that was skydiving day? Or was it bowling?

Steven Jackson
"I was very humble by the crowd that waited and wanted my autograph. I didn't get everyone but i tried my best to."

How I See It: Rule No. 1 in the Humble Handguide: Don't say you are humble.

Apolo Ohno
"Traffic...awesome... http://tweetphoto.com/41171910"

How I See It: Don't bump the Korean one again, probably won't get away with it this time.

Jared Dudley
"The Jordan Brand still makes million of dollars and he hasnt played in the NBA in forever.. There will only be 1 Jordan.. The G.O.A.T"

How I See It: Just a quick heads up, Jared. You are no longer in Charlotte on the Bobcats roster. The time to suck up to MJ has long past.

Chad Ochocinco
"#OCNNBreakingNews Chad OchoCinco Debuts Cereal Brand: Ochocincos God is good, I lost 25k but will make it back #POW http://bit.ly/9J6DFE"

How I See It: Yes, they are actually producing and selling "Ochocinco's." And the motto? "Just don't tweet while you eat."

Kevin Weekes
"We had a great dinner at The Cliff,rated among the Top 50 restaurants in the world,please check it out if you have a minute."

How I See It: A minute? Now that’s fast food.

Michael Huff
"This rookie show might be the worst I've ever seen...smh"

How I See It: There’s only so much talent to go around in Oakland.

Kerry Rhodes
"@OfficialBraylon steroids huh?"

How I See It: Oh so that’s how Braylon’s beard got so big.

Reggie Evans
"we going to with the big ten this year. BLACK AND GOLD."

How I See It: I hope he’s not talking about Purdue.

Lindsey Berg
"Not even gonna lie...I am having a hard time watching this..."

How I See It: Me too, watching Matt Leinart and Derek Anderson run the Cardinals offense is actually unbearable.

Glen Davis
"Like for real !! All that fake air in a bro food ! Y'all girls are crazy !! Don't try to make me food !! Then when I take a bit I got hair!!"

How I See It: They don’t call him Big Baby for nothing. He never stops complaining.

Josh Cribbs
"On my way home from bowling!!! Glad we have tomorrow off!!!"

How I See It: Out of all the NFL teams that can afford bowling night immediately followed by a vacation day, the Browns definitely aren’t one of them.

Kevin Weekes
"Awesome time tonight,great friends,full moon shining nicely off the Caribbean Sea."

How I See It: Maybe that will be the Browns’ schedule for next training camp (see above).

Brett Anderson
"Long road trip coming up...should be fun."

How I See It: Any road trip in which the roads lead away from Oakland is definitely fun.

Andy Murray
"Had a relaxing weekend.. could have done without a penalty miss in the fantasy football gameweek tho!"

How I See It: Fantasy futbol.

Adam Jones
"Imma ask buck if he enjoyed me smacking his azz last night. Hope someone took a pic"

How I See It: So that’s how Buck Showalter’s getting the job done! Classic team bonding!

Kyle Busch
"Wow that was crazy! Looks like the 38 just did a rail slide along the wall in turn 1 and 2. He's OK. Caution is Out. - Ryan"

How I See It: I hate when NASCAR does this. They add in right turns and don’t tell anybody.

Joe Namath
"really excited to partner with Espn 1050AM on the Michael Kay show. Check here for details http://tinyurl.com/ListenEspn ...Thursdays 4:45pm"

How I See It: Don’t worry, everybody. Suzy Kolber has already prepped Michael Kay for what may occur.

Kirk Morrison
"Rickey Henderson was my favorite athlete growing up. Holds MLB record for stolen bases at 1,406. Next is Lou Brock 939 #willneverbebroken"

How I See It: Thank you, Captain Obvious. Get a load of this: Barry Bonds holds the MLB record for most home runs with 762 and Hank Aaron is second with 755!

Pierre Garcon
"Video Coming Soon From The 1st Indianapolis Colts Bowling Tournament...You Know Who Won :-)"

How I See It: Gosh darn it. Is that five championships now for Adam Vinatieri?

Bernard Berrian
"Yeeeeeeeep!!"

How I See It: Took you this long to find out about Brett Favre? Happens to the best of us.

Reggie Bush
"For the record I'm not hosting a party next week in New Orleans. I am focused on football and helping the Saints defend our title! Who Dat!"

How I See It: What about if USC pays for it?

Terrence Williams
"MOMS ON HER WAY TO MY HOUSE GOT SOME THANGS TO SHOW HER"

How I See It: Other than your 70 losses from last season and your blown run at an NCAA title, what do you have to show Momma?

Jonathan Vilma
"preseason or not, i know only 1 way to play football...100 mph and give it everything i got"

How I See It: But that’s two ways -- and one of them isn’t even possible.

Greg Oden
"I hate when people feel the need to slow done on the highway when there is someone on the side of the road (I-5) #traffic"

How I See It: Right, 'cause you can drive so quickly.

Rasual Butler
"Riding to Beyonce 'be with you' my joint! Lol she goes in shout to the cayman Islands throw back! Lol! Miamin days mid 2000 lol isee u!"

How I See It: Only real men jam to Beyonce.

Dashon Goldson
"McDonalds for lunch. Large #6 crispy no mayo wit sweet tea. #yum "

How I See It: Nice healthy choice with the tea, Dashon.

Roger Clemens
"I never took HGH or Steroids. And I did not lie to Congress. I look forward to challenging the Governments"

How I See It: Yeah, those 15 counts of indictment say something a little bit different and the Governments are certainly looking forward to challenging you as well.

Floyd Mayweather Jr.
"I'M IN THE CHECK CASHING BUSINESS.... MY KIDS CAN'T EAT FAME... I'M LIKE THE BIG JOKER. I'M GUAREENTED TO WIN"

How I See It: Great to see the determination to provide for the family but you will be the Big Joker of the boxing world until you fight Pacquiao.

Jared Dudley
"Yo!!! @jrich23 we got ur whole GS squad up here lol.. We have @Matt_Barnes22 @AlHarrington7 @Baron_Davis and Stack Jack.. Where u at? "

How I See It: How come Gilbert Arenas didn't get the invite?

Chris Douglas-Roberts
"I rather score less points on a winning team any-day! Nobody likes a loser in this league. Losers DONT eat! Losers get laughed at!"

How I See It: You know, if losers never eat, then they will never be winners. Because they will die.

Mike Commodore
"Wow..."Inception" really makes u think. Good show "

How I See It: Wow, the fact that Mike Commodore JUST saw “Inception” really makes me think.

Aaron Maybin
"When ur in Canada and ur phone is roaming...resort 2 skype"

How I See It: When you’re in Buffalo and your team is losing ... resort to Canada.

Bo Pelini
"No meetings tonight...Gonna go show our guys how to drive some Go Karts "

How I See It: Maybe you should show them how to beat Texas. That might come in handier this year.

Anthony Morrow
"Jus finished up work out 2, bout to go heat up this lasagna, shout out to the chef @EbonyLuvanDance MamaSteed"

How I See It: Italian food and New Jersey. Perfect together.

Kevin Weekes
"RT @justinbieber Yo chillin with @kevinweekes NHL goalie.. Hes tight! follow him."

How I See It: In related news, Weekes gained 7,000 followers today, but lost even more respect.

Warren Sapp
"Wake Up U Mean?? Proof reading Is a Must!! Smdh RT @j_holland7: Walk up and get on your feet and let's do something great and unique"

How I See It: Warren Sapp, by far the scariest officer in the Grammar Police Squad.

Joe Haden
"Just finished the first practice!! We got better 2day!!!"

How I See It: Reminder: You are the Browns, you can only get better. It would have been noteworthy had the team proven the theory that they could possibly get worse.

John Calipari
"We now have Crazy Bandz available. Collect, trade, enjoy:http://www.coachcal.com/2010/08/16/calz-crazy-bandz-have-arrived/ ^DP"

How I See It: Bracelets the shape of John Calipari? This has officially gotten way out of hand, no pun intended.

Bryant McKinnie
"Just left the locker room, oh & i ran n2 a old friend when i was leaving. Lol! figure it out!"

How I See It: I think he's talking about Brett Favre? Favre's back. Let the mania begin ... again.

Joe Nemechek
"Looks like Brett's answer may be coming today. Get in your final vote on the poll onhttp://JoeNemechek.com #nascar #fb"

How I See It: Great, even NASCAR driver Joe Nemechek is doing his part to cover Favre ad nauseam.

Chad Ochocinco
"OCNN: Droid X Owners, my app is available in the Android Market by searching "Ochocinco" #android #motorola #ochocinco"

How I See It: Oh boy, another medium on which I can follow the fascinating life of Chad Ochocinco. I've got to get this now! Thanks for reading.

Corey Pavin
"SOP: need to focus on this week's major...won't be tweeting much. Get back at ya when I can."

How I See It: Good call. You never know when Jim Gray will strike with his revenge.

Dawan Landry
"@D24m Wussap Brett Favre?"

How I See It: The day Brett Favre joins Twitter is the day the our society begins to die. All as Favre sends out misleading and ambiguous tweets about his future.

Cliff Avril
"Why? Ever wonder why?"

How I See It: If I were a Detroit Lions player, I would ask the same thing.

Kawika Mitchell
"Living my dream"

How I See It: Playing in Buffalo ... yup, sounds like a dream job.

DeJuan Blair
"Leave ya keys on the kitchen counter and give me back that ruby ring wit da big dimond!!"

How I See It: I don’t think DeJuan meant to send this message to Twitter.

Trent Shelton
"Dont treat relationships like a revolving door because you can walk back in but it nothing going to change. Save yourself a trip"

How I See It: Or you could get stuck in it. Seriously, being stuck in a revolving door is one of my fears. Always take the side door.

Terrell Owens
"@OGOchoCinco May swing thru Robin! Batman is eating"

How I See It: Just like kids, they pretend to be superheroes. And just like kids, they will probably eventually fight over which one of them gets to be Batman.

Michael Huff
"Shoutout to all my new followers, all I talk about is cougars, food, and make fun of my teammates so get ready!!"

How I See It: I know he’s not your teammate anymore, but I hope JaMarcus is included in that last group.

Darnell Dockett
"If I had 2 put on a diffrent uniform it would B Eagles/!bears/Ravens/panthers/Jets I like all their uniforms cn someonephoto shop me in them"

How I See It: Every Cardinals fan just panicked a little bit.

DeMar DeRozan
"Seem like happiness is hard to find..."

How I See It: It’s especially harder to find in Canada.

Ray Lewis
"I'd like to ask for everybody's prayers today, for everyone on both sides of the battlefield and also coming out... http://fb.me/H5hgyCDm"

How I See It: Thank God for Football! AMEN.

John Wall
"All 4 of my brovas and I striving to be successful on our owns...We gonna do it if we finish school and stay level headed!!!"

How I See It: Full Disclosure: This is coming from a man who was successful because he left school early.

Sean Weatherspoon
"@briancushing56 bro u beefed up lol I stay around that 240 range these days! How's camp?"

How I See It: Yea, all that “over working out” really made him grow, and made him fail a PED test.

Josh Cribbs
"Hello people... best love story this is a hard one ... "Titanic" or " The Notebook"???"

How I See It: Question for all you Browns fans. Sadder ending: “The Titanic” or a Browns game?

LenDale White
"Sorry been I'm meetings.... My fav pair of shoes all the JORDAN 11's"

How I See It: If this makes sense to anyone, can they please fill me in?

Joe Lauzon
"Highly Underrated: Freeze pops. Especially red ones."

How I See It: Thanks for bringing that injustice to light, Mr. Lauzon.

Aaron Maybin
"Ready 4 takeoff...stay tuned."

How I See It: Just remember to turn your phone off. Don’t want to upset any flight attendants these days ...

Aaron Maybin
"Ok so now they say another 20 mins. I can't sit still that long..."

How I See It: False Start on seat 6C. 5 aisle penalty. Repeat first down.