"You get alot of friends when you say, you got some GaGa tickets lol...Then they want them for Free! #childplease! lol"
How I See It: Easiest way to tell the real friends versus the fakers: Invite them to a Washington Redskins game in addition to the concert. All you'll hear are crickets.
"Will somebody please turn the heat off outside! Goodness"
How I See It: According to Inception, Leo DiCaprio controls everything. I'll pass along the message.
"Got my new golf clubs, gonna get my game right."
How I See It: You're going to need it. After going 12-70 this year, I'm predicting several lengthy upcoming off-seasons.
"#Gmail is amazing. Sent an email and said "I have attached" but forgot to attach the image. So it asked me if I forgot."
How I See It: In addition to taking over the world, Google can now take over your mind.
"im thinking Hooters for lunch. they have great food."
How I See It: And you probably read Playboy for the articles too, huh?
"Just saw a guy walkin down the street in DC with 2 NY size rats on his shoulders! Can we say insane? I literally closed my eyes and drove by"
How I See It: Who needs shoulder pads when you can wear fall's hottest new accessory, shoulder rats?