MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

Natalie Coughlin
"Braising short ribs for my big dinner on Saturday. Takes so much restraint not eating all this delicious food myself!"

How I See It: If you need help, Natalie, let me know. Don't be surprised if all the ribs go MIA though.

Golden Tate
"Just spilled pepsi on myself at the airport. #slouch #lookedlikeipeedmypants"

How I See It: That's the most original excuse for bedwetting I've heard in a while.

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Natalie Coughlin
"Poor Dozer just learned (the hard way) that bees sting when you try to bite them. He's okay, just swollen. http://tweetphoto.com/35265596"

How I See It: Phew ... it's okay, Barack, you can go back to doing things that presidents do. Natalie's dog is going to be okay. That's for letting us know, Natalie.

Chad Ochocinco
"@terrellowens we like batman n robin, siskel n ebert, ying n yang, bonnie n clyde but you're bonnie though"

How I See It: It's not clear who's Robin.

Dwyane Wade
"4 everyone who wants 2 know. I luv marquette & alwayz will. I also luv coach crean whr he goes ill always support him. I'm not in the nba...(2nd Tweet)...Witout tht guy. So IU shorts I will b wearing as well..thanks for the concern."

How I See It: This is a daily double bonus tweet. Does this mean D-Wade will start wearing Lakers gear because he couldn't have won a championship without Shaq?

Kenny Moore
"89 freakn cheats in NASCAR racing video games! Bout to get this victory!!!"

How I See It: So that's how Jimmie Johnson keeps winning ...

John Daly
"On Air right now with ESPN New York Bill Daughtry & Don LaGreca promoting my album"

How I See It: Two Things: 1) Could we actually turn on the show and see John Daly tweet this live? and 2) There's no way John Daly is coming out with a MUSICAL album. It has to be some photo album of all the crazy pants he's worn. If it is music, this could be a bigger disaster than ... John Daly.

Natalie Coughlin
"Dear Shannon Sharpe, what the heck are you wearing?"

How I See It: I’ve asked that same question countless times. If he wears a toga next time, it will probably be an upgrade.

Renee Montgomery
"Finished shopping for now. Time for the game. #Ravens"

How I See It: Shield your eyes, Renee. You shouldn’t have watched. Only adds salt in the wound for Baltimore fans still bitter about the Colts leaving town.

Chansi Stuckey
"All this smoke has given me a terrible headache"

How I See It: Looks like Chansi might already be getting into trouble in the offseason ... that’s what happens when you play for the Browns.

DeSean Jackson
"This guy reggie bush jus did sommmmmme sicccccc ass shit on dat TD............. I see u boi u got that wiggle out there swerv'n sheeeeesh"

How I See It: Translation: it was a very nice play by Reggie Bush.

Shaun Phillips
"The new phelps subway commercial should have him swimming to amsterdam lol."

How I See It: Now that is a funny tweet.

David Clowney
"You ever feel like you doing stuff great/good keeping your other half happy and it still ain't good enough? Random Question!!!!!"

How I See It: Sure it is, David.

Trent Shelton
"Man I have the worst luck on plane seats.either I'm sitting next to a crying baby or like in this case someone who smells like grade A shi*"

How I See It: Could be Grade B.

Martellus Bennett
"On my grizzy like a muthaf&$8n bear. What's good?"

How I See It: You forgot an "L" there, Martellus. You have an extra one in your name, or you can borrow one from the Rams. They've got plenty more.

Dara Torres
"U guys, that was Ashton Kutcher I was with!!"

How I See It: Jeez, that guy catches more cougars than the zoo.

Natalie Coughlin
"What should I be for Halloween... Any suggestions? "

How I See It: Amanda Beard.