Tweets by Jimmer Fredette, Alexander Ovechkin and More

  • Wednesday, July 6, 2011 10:51 AM
  • Written By: Jeffrey Eisenband


Alexander Ovechkin
"Hi guys!I'm back in I'm in toronto canada..."
How I See It: Cause that makes a lot of sense ...

Ozzie Guillen
"670 score very smart people talking baseball lol "
How I See It: Is talking baseball the newest section on the SATs? Top score of 800?

Jimmer Fredette
"Goodnight everyone"
How I See It: Jimmer's lights out.

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Tweets By Dwyane Wade, Kevin Durant, Ozzie Guillen And More

  • Monday, May 16, 2011 3:29 PM
  • Written By: Jeffrey Eisenband


Ozzie Guillen
"U are the man"
How I See It: My guess is that this wasn't meant for an umpire.

Dwyane Wade
"I had 2 laugh at ths..I was playing my oldest son Zaire on his nerf rim & he dunked & said Gibson while screaming..L2MS Kids u gotta luv em"
How I See It: Something tells me Pat Riley and Eric Spoelstra don't have a sense of humor about this:

Kevin Durant
"Man they be cheatin terrible on angry birds...make me wanna throw my phone out the window.."
How I See It: And to think Kevin would be a little more relaxed today. Don't worry! There's no elimination round in Angry Birds.

David Ortiz
"Check me out in the streets of New York. Thanks again @MLBFanCave ."
How I See It: These hugs are definitely staged (not that I'm a biased Yankee fan or anything).
Curtis Granderson
"lots of proms going on tonight around the country. PLEASE BE SAFE!!!"
How I See It: Thanks, Mom.

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Tweets By DeSean Jackson, LeBron James And More

  • Wednesday, December 22, 2010 5:03 PM
  • Written By: Jeffrey Eisenband


DeSean Jackson
"Lets ride big dogg>>>RT @Thepresidentcb: Bout to hit NYC with the hommie @DeseanJackson10."

How I See It: As a Giants fan, I'm warning you for your own safety, DO NOT COME BACK TO NEW YORK.

Nick Swisher
"Need some Xmas present ideas for the fam. Suggestions?"

How I See It: Earplugs.

Michael Oher
"My mom got me so much Louis Vuitton I dont know what i did to deserve this!"

How I See It: Sandra Bullock's first gift to Big Mike since that pickup truck.

Curt Schilling
"Watching gabs at softball, had to insert myself into drills, to help, now have eleventeen pulled quad muscles"

How I See It: Coming from bloody sock man himself. Real tough guy.

Coco Crisp
"Biz day 4 me 2day. My bedroom got invaded by an army of ants. Spent my morning at war wit them! Took bout an hour but I won the war!"

How I See It: Folks, this is why your mother told you that leaving food on the floor would lead to ants. Imagine being a Cocoa Krispie. It can't be a fun life.

Landry Fields
"Laying down watching, The History Channel."

How I See It: In other words, "Look at me, I went to Stanford!"

Kerry Rhodes
"Ok louisville let's take control of this game! The best named bowl game ever lol lol. THE BEEF O' BRADY bowl! ?"

How I See It: Listen, Kerry, just be glad the Cardinals aren't playing in that game.

Landon Donovan
"Christmas done came early RT @MissKajlich: ho ho ho RT @JonnyIce: @MissKajlich #Maxim holiday gift to us all!"

How I See It: Okay, Landon Donovan and Bianca Kajlich are still the weirdest separated couple in the world.

Ozzie Guillen
"how is holidays for everyone? I have gained 10 pounds already jaja"

How I See It: Did Ozzie eat another umpire?

LeBron James
"Why would u even punt the ball to him though! No sense! Smh.He's the most explosive player in the stadium. Amazing play by @DeseanJackson10"

How I See It: Why would you tell the city of Cleveland that you wouldn't stop until you brought [them] a championship? No sense!

Tweets By Tiger Woods, LeBron James And More

  • Tuesday, November 30, 2010 2:46 PM
  • Written By: Jeffrey Eisenband


Tiger Woods
"Getting a lesson in @ replies here it goes.."

How I See It: Tiger taking a lesson? Okay, now we know it isn't actually him tweeting.

Larry Fitzgerald
"??The Ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort & convenience,but where he (cont)"

How I See It: So, in other words, we should not measure your career based on your four Pro Bowl appearances, but rather if you can ever find success after Kurt Warner's retirement?

Nate Robinson
"I'm n Cleveland bored outta my witz #WordAApp! Anybody know if it's anything to do? Anybody cooking would love a home cooked meal #WordAApp!"

How I See It: I guarantee you there's a LeBron James jersey burning within a three-block radius if you want entertainment.

Dez Bryant
"I'm wanting to watch twilight eclipse on a website..anyone know any websites?"

How I See It: Dez, I know it's been a tough rookie season, but this is a little too low even for someone on a 3-8 team.

Curtis Granderson
"happy 41st birthday Mariano Rivera!!!"

How I See It: This will make the Yankees think twice about a multi-year deal.

Roddy White
"I can't believe tht wideout blame good for dropping a ball I have dropped a lot of balls and never once thought it was god fault"

How I See It: Okay, so Matt Ryan isn't god. Check him off the list.

Ozzie Guillen
"Hard work put u in nice situation my fat boy"

How I See It: Your previous tweet, "Juan uribe 3 years iam proud uribe great job buddy," was just a tad sweeter.

John Calipari
"That's a first. I can never remember a time when she chose my game over something for Erin, Megan or Brad. Have a wonderful birthday!"

How I See It: A perfect example of why Coach Cal is such a good recruiter. Nobody could care even the slightest bit whether or not Calipari's wife goes to the game tonight, but the fact that he updates his page every 30 minutes with useless information gets him "in" with teenagers.

Steven Jackson
"Ok.. So I look out my hotel room and see someone swimming in the pool. Then I look left and see ppl ice skating.. I'm confused."

How I See It: Denver's a weird city, my friend.

LeBron James
"It's just 2 easy!! I smell a blowout"

How I See It: "Maybe I led you to believe it was easy, when it wasn't." -- Michael Jordan.

Athlete Tweets Review 06/19/10

  • Sunday, June 20, 2010 1:58 AM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay


Nate Clements
"Tiger woods looks like he could play some football"

How I See It: Not going to say it…..don’t think about it… can’t be true…..STEROIDS.

Ozzie Guillen
"Happy fathers day to all then look up for the childrens no a fake one"

How I See It: Huh?

Tracy McGrady
"more streetball photos coming sunday"

How I See It: The only team that would pick up T-Mac these days. A pickup street team.

Ryan Lochte
"Just had a feast, ribs, shrimp, steak, and sausages!!! I'm in heaven!!! Jea jea jeah!!!!!!"

How I See It: Wow. That’s called eating like there’s no tomorrow. Biggest feast of all-time.

J.R. Giddens
"So full jus had Chinese buffet crab legs steak tips egg drop soup and about to go get sum ice cream.. Oh yea and crab cakes"

How I See It: Gotta say, J.R. takes the cake on the biggest feast of the night.

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Athlete Tweets Review 04/01/10

  • Thursday, April 1, 2010 12:45 PM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay


Jessica Gysin
"Wow you really can't believe a word people say today! Happy April Fools day :-)"

How I See It: Hmmm ... I’m not sure if I should believe what you are saying about not believing what people are saying.

Michael Waltrip
"well i think i will go to Nashville and watch some racing. and listen to music. and visit family and friends."

How I See It: April Fools? Yup, that’s right, Michael. We know what you are up to. Can’t believe anything you hear today.

Shawn Marion
"I just got 5 calls saying I got 5 new babies on the way april fools lol"

How I See It: Hilarious!!! (nervous laugh)

Ozzie Guillen
"I hope the fans enjoy this game and have a lot a fun"

How I See It: April Fools! What Ozzie really means is “I hope the fans do NOT enjoy this game, and I hope they have a horrible time!”

Abe Elam
"Breaking News!!!! @ithinkurwright just got traded to the LA Rams for a 1st round, 3rd round and 7th round pick!"

How I See It: First sign a tweet is an April Fools joke: saying that someone got traded to a team that no longer exists.

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Athlete Tweets Review 03/11/10

  • Thursday, March 11, 2010 8:04 PM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay


Renee Montgomery
"Cincy is getting mollywhopped by WVU while Bill Clinton and Denzel Washington are sitting in the stands."

How I See It: Mollywhopped? I can only imagine Bill Clinton saying that word: “I did not mollywhop that woman!”

Eric Fehr
"The Incredibles is one of the most entertaining cartoon movies ever!"

How I See It: Yeah, it’s simply incredible!!! Ok, terrible joke ... weak crop of tweets tonight. I'm in desperation mode.

Kassim Osgood
"and right now i have Garlic Breath! Good thing my girlfriend is not close by...i mean, if there WAS one. lol!!! looking...takers?? lol jk"

How I See It: Except you totally aren’t kidding.

Ozzie Guillen
"The wings vegasa yesssasa"

How I See It: Is this English? Spanish? Some other language only Ozzie Guillen understands?

Adam Jones

How I See It: Hope spring's eternal ... except when you play for the Orioles.

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Athlete Tweets Review 03/10/10

  • Wednesday, March 10, 2010 6:16 PM
  • Written By: Dan Hurwitz


Ozzie Guillen
"I going to get my chevy help me suv ?"

How I See It: If there was a Least Valuable Tweet, this would be it.

Matt Forte
"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep....he waits!"

How I See It: Chuck Norris also won a game of Connect 4 in three moves.

Justin Forsett
"I cheated on Subway with Quiznos I couldn't resist I heard such great things about it but now I feel guilty hope Subway takes me back lol"

How I See It: How could you?

Terrell Owens
"I'm en route back 2 LA imagining wht WE could hv done 2gether!! Holy delta skymiles Robin! U talk about unstoppable!!"

How I See It: WE? You and Ocho combined equals the opposite of WE.

Kevin Boss
"Watching Around the Horn and they are talking about needing to get rid of the song "one shinning moment" that plays at the end of the NCAA Men's Nat. championship game with highlights from the tourney! Very bad idea! My dad use to tape that for me every year!"

How I See It: This is two tweets, but who cares. I completely agree with you, Kevin. "One Shining Moment" is the best part of the championship game. "The Ball is Tipped!"

Natasha Hastings
"Omg! Watchin this week's 24 episode. Jack Bauer is soooooo freakin cold!!!!"

How I See It: You said it perfectly.

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Athlete Tweets Review 03/06/10

  • Sunday, March 7, 2010 6:09 AM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay


Bobby McCray
"Pocket tweeting killing"

How I See It: C’mon Bobby. That’s the lamest excuse in the book.

Ozzie Guillen
"Magic larry great rival great basketball ever"

How I See It: I have a feeling that Twitter needs to install an Ozzie Guillen translator for all of his gibberish tweets. Starting with this one.

Quentin Groves
"No reviews on studio 9!!!!! Means no!!!!!! Then!!!! Where we at duval???"

How I See It: This!!! Tweet!!! Is!!! So!!!! Enthusiastic!!!!!!!

Martellus Bennett
"y errbody mad at me today sheesh..... oh well i wanna buy shoes bc i can"

How I See It: “I want to buy shoes because I can.” It’s safe to say that Martellus is a perfect Dallas Cowboy.

Nazr Mohammed
"Pulled out a victory over the Warriors 2nite. That's 2 in a row so we need to keep it going vs Miami on Tues."

How I See It: Two straight wins for the Bobcats? Someone plan a parade!

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Athlete Tweets Review 03/04/10

  • Thursday, March 4, 2010 9:01 PM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay


Ozzie Guillen
"Just saw and talked to nolan wow one of the best ever what a pleasure."

How I See It: I think what Ozzie means is “[expletive deleted].”

Jose Canseco
"The movie on my life if interested email me at"

How I See It: Right now, IMDb has Daniel-Der Zauberer ranked at the top (bottom?) of the IMDb Bottom 100 movies. I think that’s about to change.

Darrell Green
"Retiring, getting cut and and just plane old quitting, is a part of the the professional sports business."

How I See It: I assume spelling “plain” wrong is also part of the business.

Apolo Ohno
"Getting ready to jump off this plane in Denver. It's been a long day. Check out this sweet pic -"

How I See It: From the Olympics to jumping off planes? Apolo Ohno is awesome.

Antrel Rolle
"It's pretty sweet being a free agent...check out new blog jus posted at my website"

How I See It: Antrel sounds like a guy that just broke up with his girlfriend. He tells himself that it is great being single, but then after about an hour he realizes he is alone with no girlfriend, or in this case no job.

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