MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

Louie Vito
"Bout to set a new personal record of 6 sushi rolls. I know no one cares but I'm stoked ha"

How I See It: I guess all the dead fish in the Arkansas River have to go somewhere.

Martellus Bennett
"Working on that stewie painting I was talking about should be dope"

How I See It: Introducing the future Vincent Van Gogh. Let's hope Bennett keeps both his ears.

Christina Kim
"@jeehaeda hahaha, you're so silly. And pretty. And smart. And you smell nice. Can I touch your hair?"

How I See It: Christina Kim schools us on how to flirt, Twitter-style.

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Christina Kim
"For some reason, while laying on the massage table, I want some fluff and almond butter on multigrain bread."

How I See It: What are you talking about? The massage table is the perfect place for comfort food. That makes total sense.

Brandon Flowers
"Can't wait to get my clear wireless 4g card..I can use it anywhere and get high speed internet"

How I See It: I sincerely hope Clear paid you for the product placement, Flowers.

Tyreke Evans
"Leaving subway me and weezy back to crib take nap get ready 4 the our 2nd practice let's go"

How I See It: Uhh, because a food coma is exactly what you need before practice.

Mike Thomas
"Love to see jags fans steppin up. 3rd straight sell out!!"

How I See It: Since you guys just acquired Trent Edwards, I wouldn't expect those fans to stick around if I were you. I'm a Bills fan; I would know.

Donte Whitner
"Buffalo yall wanna have a Halloween party?"

How I See It: Well, Donte, the Bills' play has been pretty scary these past three weeks. Might as well take advantage of it while we can.

Ted Leonsis
"The Pre-season is for Getting a Groove Back http://bit.ly/bljCYk"

How I See It: The pre-season is to the NBA what Jamaica was for Stella.

Christina Kim
"Sooooo.... The lady here at the bank has flubbed up 3x in front of me with paperwork. I'm assuming... Meth head?"

How I See It: Damn, Christina. You go from 0 to 100 in a second. Why couldn't it just be clumsy, or hung over?

Andrew Bogut
"Up @ 4am! Listening to kid cudi on rage!"

How I See It: Christina Kim calls it meth.

Evan Bates
"LET'S DO THIS CINCI!!!.....or indy...or st. louis, or wherever the hell I am"

How I See It: Cue Christina ...

Simon Cho
"TGIF!!!! :)"

How I See It: You had me until the emoticon.

Les Miles
"Good luck to all of our players in final exams. Lets finish the semester strong! Geaux Tigers"

How I See It: Luck. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Nick Barnett
"Any big trades?"

How I See It: Sigh, yeah Nick. We've already sent your stuff to St. Louis.

Renee Montgomery
"Indecent Proposal: If someone offered you a million dollars to sleep with your husband/wife, what would you do? "

How I See It: For some guys, that million would be a bargain. Just ask Paul McCartney how much it cost him to sleep with his wife.

Christina Kim
"Just finished a 5mile run. Legs like jello hehehe. Love the inability to breathe, its freakin sweet! :-D "

How I See It: Jello is sweet, yes. Orange especially. And, by "inability", I'm sure Christina meant "ability". If not, somebody should check up on her.

Dhani Jones
"(via @AndrewWK) Party tip: Follow your instinct even if it feels crazy. Do what it tells you to do. No matter what, take that risk today!"

How I See It: Probably the worst tip in the history of tip-giving.

Pat Fitzgerald
"Proud to announce that SEVEN 'Cats were nominated to be Academic All-Americans this year!!"

How I See It: And Northwestern is a favorite to win the Academic BCS Championship. Gotta take what you can get I guess.