MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

DeSean Jackson
"Lets ride big dogg>>>RT @Thepresidentcb: Bout to hit NYC with the hommie @DeseanJackson10."

How I See It: As a Giants fan, I'm warning you for your own safety, DO NOT COME BACK TO NEW YORK.

Nick Swisher
"Need some Xmas present ideas for the fam. Suggestions?"

How I See It: Earplugs.

Michael Oher
"My mom got me so much Louis Vuitton I dont know what i did to deserve this!"

How I See It: Sandra Bullock's first gift to Big Mike since that pickup truck.

Curt Schilling
"Watching gabs at softball, had to insert myself into drills, to help, now have eleventeen pulled quad muscles"

How I See It: Coming from bloody sock man himself. Real tough guy.

Coco Crisp
"Biz day 4 me 2day. My bedroom got invaded by an army of ants. Spent my morning at war wit them! Took bout an hour but I won the war!"

How I See It: Folks, this is why your mother told you that leaving food on the floor would lead to ants. Imagine being a Cocoa Krispie. It can't be a fun life.

Landry Fields
"Laying down watching, The History Channel."

How I See It: In other words, "Look at me, I went to Stanford!"

Kerry Rhodes
"Ok louisville let's take control of this game! The best named bowl game ever lol lol. THE BEEF O' BRADY bowl! ?"

How I See It: Listen, Kerry, just be glad the Cardinals aren't playing in that game.

Landon Donovan
"Christmas done came early RT @MissKajlich: ho ho ho RT @JonnyIce: @MissKajlich #Maxim holiday gift to us all! http://plixi.com/p/63999087"

How I See It: Okay, Landon Donovan and Bianca Kajlich are still the weirdest separated couple in the world.

Ozzie Guillen
"how is holidays for everyone? I have gained 10 pounds already jaja"

How I See It: Did Ozzie eat another umpire?

LeBron James
"Why would u even punt the ball to him though! No sense! Smh.He's the most explosive player in the stadium. Amazing play by @DeseanJackson10"

How I See It: Why would you tell the city of Cleveland that you wouldn't stop until you brought [them] a championship? No sense!

Tim Tebow
"We fully support Coach Studesville... He will do a great job in his new position and will make Broncos fans proud of this team! GB2"

How I See It: Why do I keep reading this as "Urban Meyer for Broncos coach 2011?"

Amare Stoudemire
"What’s the average age of the Knicks this year?"

How I See It: Well below your current scoring average.

Larry Fitzgerald
"@kurt13warner miss ya man! Tell the wife and kids I said hello"

How I See It: Not satisfied with your Fordham QB, Larry? Stop trying, he's not getting off the couch with four games left to play.

Curt Schilling
".296 13 HR 75 or so RBI's = 20+MM a year? 50 SB a year with a .337 OBP? I love Carl Crawford, plays his ass off, but 20x8? GRAB THAT CARL!"

How I See It: Ugh, now Schilling's going try to take credit for this signing, somehow.

Danny Granger
"In Milwaukee and there is absolutely nothing to do here"

How I See It: I feel like at least ten NBA players tweet this every week.

Jose Canseco
"Next item up for ouction spend a day with jose. Who's gonna start the bidding"

How I See It: I can only imagine: Wake up, eat breakfast, shoot up steroids. Eat lunch, shoot up steroids. Eat dinner, shoot up steroids. Rage with Mark McGwire. Take HGH and go to sleep.

Jozy Altidore
"Today reminded me of those Dominoes pizza kids who were farting on pizzas and all that. What ever happened to those kids??"

How I See It: What ever happened the U.S. soccer team? Come out again in three and a half years, please.

Jim Craig
"Pats vs Jets a great example of two different coaches both who teach their TEAM that winning is all that matters"

How I See It: And eating. And spying. And winning too, I guess.

Sasha Vujacic
"Special thanks to all of my fans who came out to the AT&T store in Newport on Saturday!!!"

How I See It: Right, cause they came for you, not Maria Sharapova. You are one lucky man, Sasha Vujacic,

LeBron James
"Peyton does on the field. Good or bad! People get on TV and think they can say whatever they want! And it's always former players! Crazy!!"

How I See It: You dig yourself into these holes, Mr. "Decision."

Alex Brown
"I am not talking about comparing vodka and tequila but what do u think is the best vodka and tequila? Straight as a shot or mixed."

How I See It: The brand that prevents Roger Goodell from suspending anyone who drinks too much. If this brand exists, let Ben Roethlisberger know.

Bryant McKinnie
"Just had Dejavu what's that mean?"

How I See It: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Curt Schilling
"Otw to ESPN to tape some Sept. And Oct. Pieces on pitching. Have 19 years of notes and game notes in tow!"

How I See It: And by "game notes" he means a few pairs of socks with fake blood stains around the ankles.

Stephon Marbury
"AI come to CHINA baby. Let's make history again. This is the next chapter in the book that we will write. http://plixi.com/p/45122196"

How I See It: I can't decide which is more unlikely: AI actually playing in China or a publisher allowing you two to write a book together.

Leonard Weaver
"Couples retreat is such a great movie!"

How I See It: I guess movie standards are lowered when you're on IR.

Steve Smith
"What a nice day in jersey. Thk u Lord!!"

How I See It: A nice day in Jersey? I was not aware of such a thing.

Rashad McCants
"Got great rest today! Ready to rock! Seems like allstar is getting more and more ghetto"

How I See It: Yeah, since the new Cowboys Stadium is sooo ghetto.

Caydee Denney and Jeremy Barrett
"Last practice in Vancouver before our big day tomorrow. And, thank you to Craig Davis in Ft. Lauderdale for this... http://bit.ly/9L8hI4"

How I See It: This may be the first twitter account I have ever seen that belongs to two people. Gold medals all around.

Shawn Johnson
"Wish I was in Vancouver with my celebrity gf @shawneyj! (via @taylorphinney) hahah me too bikeboy :)"

How I See It: I must say, these Winter Olympics could be a lot hotter with Shawn Johnson in the house.

Elana Meyers
"@NBCOlympics I used to be on your list of athletes you follow and showed up on the Olympic Pulse- now I don't. Did I get kicked off???"

How I See It: Response from NBC: Well, you were on for 7 months, and then we changed our mind and forced you out the door. Thanks for your understanding, Conan Elana.

Rickie Fowler
"One more day...looking forward to a solid round...the putts are due to fall"

How I See It: That's what I tell myself too.

Curt Schilling
"Day one of the Olympics compitions! http://bit.ly/b9JVil"

How I See It: Advice to President Obama: Don’t call Curt Schilling a fan of Team Canada or Team Russia, because it won’t bode well for your reelection chances. Just ask Martha Coakley.

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