MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

Darnell Dockett
"I'm in LA I'm bout to jog down rodell drive in some tights and no shirt. And the first actress I see I'm gonna run up and kiss her!"

How I See It: Worked out pretty well for Adrien Brody after winning his Oscar. Crossing my fingers you get Lindsey Lohan.

Ian Stewart
"Scrambled eggs w/ cheese, sausage, bacon, hash brown casserole, biscuits and gravy and some sweet tea..my favorite meal."

How I See It: And here I was thinking Wheaties was the breakfast of champions.

Kerry Keating
"I'll say this after using the iPad and wifi on a plane for 3 hours. The battery is good. Only used 36% of it, with video, net, & kindle"

How I See It: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Apple's newest spokesperson, Kerry Keating!

Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
"damn it is hot as hell in vegas!!!"

How I See It: Well, it IS the city of sin, so I guess that makes sense.

Leigh Bodden
"In-N-out"

How I See It: I hope you got a double-double, animal style. YUM.

Shaun Phillips
"Hockey is a sick as sport if they made more money I would play. I would destroy them boys. No stick needed."

How I See It: One game against Matt Cooke would change Phillips' mind. That is, if he still has his head. Just ask Marc Savard.

Serena Williams
"I will be LIVE on HSN at 12am this SUNDAY! Are you guys ready for my NEW LINE?"

How I See It: Finally a line Serena can cross, freak out about, yet not get fined for. Her accountant breathes easy for another day.

Darrell Waltrip
"arrived at the Talladega a bit ago,this places seems twice as big as Daytona,its Thursday and the infield is already quite lively !!"

How I See It: Hey Darrell, do me a favor and say hey to Ricky Bobby for me. Shake and Bake!

Pete Carroll
"there's 1 line in the movie risky business that should help you complete your search for the answer... #seahawksdraftclues "

How I See It: Taking over the head coaching job in Seattle is risky business enough.

Jonathan Stewart
"what do u want me to do dress in drag and do the hula? timon this movie is great everyone that has it sometime soon rewatch the lion king"

How I See It: Gotta love The Lion King. It's nice to see someone channeling his inner child on Draft Day. They said it best with "Hakuna Matata!"

Bill Stewart
"Attended a roast of Heinz Ward last night in Pittsburgh ... It was an honor to be in a room with the greatest football players ever."

How I See It: Breaking news: Heinz Ketchup now sponsors not only the Steelers’ stadium, but also its wide receiver. From this point, he will be known as “Heinz,” not “Hines.”

Renee Montgomery
"I'm about to eat BBQd eel. Pray for me"

How I See It: I refuse to do that. If you eat BBQ eel, you deserve to face the consequences.

Kevin Weekes
"Raptos flamed out-JEEZ !! Is it Le Bron's time ? Will Cavs come out of the east ?"

How I See It: “Le Bron”—Looks like the Montreal Canadiens will also be pursuing King James in the summer of 2010.

Juan Pablo Montoya
"Had mexican for dinner again. Heading back to the track!!!"

How I See It: Somewhere, Bob Griese just nodded.

Trevor Immelman
"Watching the NBA Playoffs, great to see these guys go 100%. #fb"

How I See It: Yeah maybe now I’ll be able to actually watch basketball, since the league’s preseason is finally over.

Vernon Davis
"who saw me on E last night & what ya'll think?"

How I See It: I didn't see you, but I think that you shouldn't tell everybody that you did Ecstasy. Goodell sees all.

Lolo Jones
"And please don't ask a track athlete this: How fast do you run the 40 in? (Umm I'm not a football player)"

How I See It: It's not like I asked you how hard your slider breaks.

Jonathan Stewart
"ahhh just chillin at the house enjoying a nice cup of minute made white grape juice"

How I See It: A man of true culture and refinement.

Royal Ivey
"I am one of those who would rather sink with faith than swim without it"

How I See It: Definitely could've made this more persuasive. Royal, sinking is a bad thing.

Jose Canseco
"Don't be jealous haters just cause ur wifes and girlfriends r masterbating to my picture"

How I See It: :0

Devin Hester
"Hey did yall know D Wade change shoes every quarter."

How I See It: You know, I think D-Wade warrants a puppet commercial just like Kobe and LeBron. Anyone who changes shoes every quarter deserves one, minus Stephon Marbury.

Jalen Rose
"Espn2...9-11pm est...check us out...as we go Coast to Coast around the NBA..(analysis/stats/highlights/updates plus more!)"

How I See It: This tweet says “NFL Offseason” to me (sigh).

Bill Stewart
"Congrats to Pat McAfee, who represented the Old Gold and Blue in the Super Bowl this past weekend as a member of the Indianapolis Colts."

How I See It: Congratulations for what?

Martellus Bennett
"yupp yupp i wonder how many baby mamas will leave their child at home with grandma to come to dallas and paarrrttyyyy with me.."

How I See It: You want to know why the Cowboys have the reputation that they do? Thanks Martellus.

Jay Feely
"I thought my 6yr old son was going to beat me head up from the junior tees today. He was one down with 2 to play and I shot 3 over par.s"

How I See It: Future Tiger Woods? (in the golf way, not the ... um, other way.)

Stephon Marbury
"I uploaded a YouTube video -- Stephon MArbury http://bit.ly/2HINIf"

How I See It: Can’t even imagine the contents of this video.

Ryan Grant
"Are there still fans who want tickets to tomorrows game? Let me know..I have a set of 3 and a set of 2"

How I See It: Honestly, no one really wants to see the Browns. So there probably aren’t any fans who want tickets.

Bill Stewart
"Great win by the lads. Really showed resilency being down several times during the game and kept believing in their teammates and coaches."

How I See It:The “lads”? Does Bill Stewart coach an English Premier League team now?

DeJuan Blair
"Chillin lookin 4 something to do n San Antonio.!!????"

How I See It: The Alamo. Remember it. Because I think that's all there is to do in San Antonio besides go to Spurs games. And you are a player, so I guess you have to settle for the Alamo.

David Clowney
"OMG my laptop still won't turn on and I have HW to turn in"

How I See It: This week’s math homework? Calculate how much money Mark Sanchez made in last Sunday’s 5-interception debacle. For the game and per interception. We’ll let David handle this equation.

Venus Williams
"@bigmacvikings what are you reading for bible study?"

How I See It: Big Mac left his Quran at home, Venus. So I think it's safe to say he'll be bringing The Bible.

Bill Stewart
""Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.” - Tom Landry"

How I See It: We couldn't have gotten a better Landry quote here? That's like quoting Ali saying "I love boxing. I love boxing a whole lot."

Ottis Anderson
"Who's checking me out on comedy central tonight? Someone cries and not from laughing...but it will b funny"

How I See It: An exercise in self-promotion futility.

Nick Mangold
"@DUSTINKELLER81 pee in the subway of course"

How I See It: Jeez, Dustin, how could you not know that?

Chris Johnson
"Ladies, does CJ have a chance? RT @ChrisJohnson28: Come on man baddest chick in the game I luv alica"

How I See It: A chance? That 0-6 record says no.

Stuart Schweigert
"Tigers Choke. Suicide will be considered."

How I See It: I can understand the extreme reaction, Stuart. Not only did you play for the worst pro football team ever last year, THEY CUT YOU! I'm more worried about your sanity than the Tigers'.

Leonard Little
"Watching Rehab. I guess it's a pool at the Hard Rock hotel in Vegas where people hang out. I don't know because Ive never been to Vegas."

How I See It: ... there really should be an "Irony Alert" on Twitter.

Bill Stewart
"In life, as in a football game, the principle to follow is: Hit the line hard. -Theodore Roosevelt"

How I See It: Funny, Michael Irvin and Lawrence Taylor lived by the same motto.

Nate Robinson
"Guess who I just seen? SMH"

How I See It: I'm going to guess it wasn't an English teacher.

Dwayne Wade
"Orlando whts the word. whts to do out here???"

How I See It: Well, there's Disney World. Since you're Dwayne Wade though, I'd recommend going to Wherever The Hell You Feel Like. They'll treat you pretty well there.