MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

Jason Thompson
"I Swear I Jus Felt a EarthQuake in Jersey!!!! O_O"
How I See It: Are you sure it wasn't just Mike "The Situation" flexing?

Hunter Pence
"Wow Earthquake just shook the entire locker room!"
How I See It: Nope, that was actually just crazy Philadelphia fans in the stands, but I understand why you'd think that.

Brent Celek
"Sorry Philadelphia. I dropped a dumbbell"
How I See It: Well, Hunter, there's your answer.

Hope Solo
"Storm in chicago!!!! Help! I wanna go home!!!! Stuck on tarmac, not fun! #fb"
How I See It: Oh boo hoo, a rain storm. At least you're not in the middle of a freaking earthquake!

Tony Hawk
"Earthquake... on the East Coast? Feels like home."
How I See It: Insert skateboarder term here: ______ (radical, gnarly, wicked, etc.)

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Lee Westwood
"you need tevez back!! I've retweeted a few and opened a can of worms! Not doin anymore! Missed most of the first half!"

How I See It: I swear, the first five times I read this, I thought Westwood was talking about Tevas sandals and it made me so happy. What a letdown ...

James Harden
"Numbers game is wack!!!!!!!!"

How I See It: Yup, numbers do suck when you are shooting 36 percent from the field in 26 minutes of action.

Mike Tyson
"As long as you continue to live, something great will happen.."

How I See It: Ehhh, I'm not even going to get started with this one.

Jason Thompson
"Keep your confidence high, keep your outlook positive. In time your determination will lead you to your success. Yessir"

How I See It: Love the sentiment, but I hate to break it to Jason: That's never going to happen on the Kings. Let's just say it's not a good sign when they are playing centers -- Thompson -- at small forward and shooting guard because their whole roster is either 7-0 or above, mentally inept, or just terrible at basketball.

Leonard Weaver
"I'm sittin here after the first session with my dogs Mango and dream."

How I See It: I'm going to ignore the other funny part of this tweet (a dog named "Mango") and touch on something else: What is a dog "session?" Is this like marriage counseling or pre-school for dogs? I'm confused.

Muggsy Bogues
"Hanging out with my son today he out of school..just got hair cuts and now going to big daddys 4 lunch!"

How I See It: The 5-3 Bogues referring to himself as "big daddy" is classic. (Sorry, Muggsy.) Oh, wait, he must mean Big Daddy's, the burger joint. Right?

Jason Thompson
"Jus got done Shootaround. Its the end of the Road Trip vs Twolves. Need to Get this W n head bac to MY Bed!! Yessirr. Wat up twitt fam"

How I See It: The Sacramento Kings don't need to win anything. You are done. Just work for a better pick in the draft.

Kevin Harvick
"took the morning off and now at the shop getting ready to workout."

How I See It: Racers workout in the shop?

Takeo Spikes
"****ALERT*** JUST WOKE UP FROM A DREAM THAT WE BEAT THE LAKERS IN OVERTIME.I'M SURE IT WILL BE REALITY AROUND 930PM EST TONIGHT. WHOS W/ME!?"

How I See It: Umm Takeo, the Lakers play basketball, not football. But good luck beating them anyways.

Roger Clemens
"and BTW...I've taking great care of my body and to this date and time all the pipes on this body are still working great. Thx for asking..??"

How I See It: Please don't make another comeback. No one wants to see you in a baseball uniform again.

Jordan Hill
"Another beautiful day in zamunda (coming to america) ; ) mornin errbody"

How I See It: Good to know, Prince Akeem. Isn't your father Darth Vader?

Zac Diles
"What do y'all think about this Uconn vs Baylor womens game in the final 4? I hope Uconn can hit 3's all day, Griner is a beast in the paint."

How I See It: UConn by 50.

Rod Benson
"True story RT @amclouth23: @boomtho it is a recession, you gotta keep a 'stache...#justsaying"

How I See It: Gimme some of that Tom Selleck.

John Calipari
"Congrats to Matthew and our women's team. Picked 11th in the SEC and now one win from the Final Four. Amazing job!"

How I See It: At least someone over there is having some success.

Irene Cho
"Got new moon on DVD! Woo! I know...I'm like every other teenage crazed fan..but you know what?! I DON'T CARE!"

How I See It: *Shudders*

Eric Barton
"I'm the worst call of duty player on earth"

How I See It: Yeah, but I'm sure you could toss anyone of them in real life.

Jason Thompson
"RT @jalenrose: #nbafacts. Who is better Kobe or Lebron is the most debated topic since BIG vs 2pac!"

How I See It: I don't understand why this is such a huge debate right now. One word should really end this quickly: Rings.

Jalen Rose
"Its a funny irony for me to see Duke bball team playing in "black shoes and socks--so glad times and images have changed in the U.S."

How I See It: Actually, Jalen, that's neither funny nor ironic. You were one of my favorite players as a kid though, so I'll let it slide.

Martellus Bennett
"DMX was a good actor"

How I See It: In...?

Fabian Washington
"Auburn has no clue how to run a 2min offence. WOW"

How I See It: Well at least they can spell it.

Jason Thompson
"Krazi memories!! Def want that same fire bac to Arco!!!"

How I See It: You only saved about 3 letter here, Jason.

DeAndre Jordan
"Just got some treatment in. Now time for lunch with @blakegriffin and k.rush!!!"

How I See It: Guess all that not-playing made you three hungry.