Tweets By Pete Carroll, Myron Rolle And More

  • Wednesday, December 29, 2010 6:43 PM
  • Written By: Dan Hurwitz

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Trent Shelton
"Cmon baylor"

How I See It: Haha. Baylor is playing awful.

Pete Carroll
"hey seattle, can we get a #BlueFriday going this week?? wear blue on friday to support the @seahawks! "

How I See It: Is the Seahawks' main color not green? I guess it a turquoiseish type color.

Myron Rolle
"I really hope Cote d'Ivoire Prez Gbagbo gives up position peacefully. Do not need another West African civil war.. "

How I See It: This is the most informed athlete tweeter out there!

Bryant McKinnie
"Any1 know around what time Barnes & Noble closes? "

How I See It: Can't you just look it up?

Michael Waltrip
"Daughter wants to go to a teen club. I said ok, lets go. Then I found out that I wasn't invited. "

How I See It: They grow up so quickly.

Chad Ochocinco
"Is the news true of the recent arrest of a certain individual involved in 2 Pacs murder? "

How I See It: 2pac isn't dead.

Athlete Tweets Review 10/31/10

  • Sunday, October 31, 2010 2:05 PM
  • Written By: Ross Gordon

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Christine Nesbitt
"If I were dropped out of a plane into the ocean and told the nearest land was a thousand miles away, I'd still swim."

How I See It: I’d say a prayer.

Randy Cross
"Wow, knock me over with a feather, who could of seen that coming?:>"

How I See It: Wow, you’re weak.

Jon Beason
"For Halloween I'm gonna be a "winner""

How I See It: You’re going to have to switch teams to do that. You have a small chance when you’re playing for the Panthers.

Steve Breaston
"!"

How I See It: Yeah I know ... Max Hall can’t throw the football.

C.J. Wilson
"Beverly Hills Cop in my pants #moviesinmypants"

How I See It: That’s just inappropriate for Twitter — and for real life too.

Cole Aldrich
"Favre better do some big things or he's gonna be a skeleton on halloween.. Right @EMaynor3 ! #SKOLVIKES"

How I See It: I think he’s going to be a zombie actually. Every time you think he’s gone, he somehow comes back.

Michael Waltrip
"tomorrow is November"

How I See It: Keen observation! Did you know today is Halloween?

Athlete Tweets Review 10/14/10

  • Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:12 PM
  • Written By: Katie Tang

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Lamar Odom
"Shooting People Magazine cover with the wifey. What's everyone up to? "

How I See It: In other words, "My life is cooler than yours."

Nicole Joraanstad
"Quickly packing and heading to Chicago for work. :) Hope there is minimal traffic!"

How I See It: There is ALWAYS traffic heading into Chicago. I blame Transformers 3. Yes, still.

Michael Waltrip
"I try."

How I See It: So did Macy Gray. Didn't turn out too well for her, did it?

Stephen Tulloch
"I just bought the game Angry Bird for the Ipad lets me see what all the HYPE is about....."

How I See It: BEST. GAME. EVER. Who doesn't love watching tiny birds pop and explode after being flung by a slingshot?

T.J. Ford
"I need a DJ Name!!! What should it be????????"

How I See It: First name should be the name of your first pet and last name should be the street you grew up on. Oh wait, I think that's the formula for your stripper name. Same difference, I guess.

Paul Damien Smith
"i dont wanna here that 38 seconds mcdonalds ish.....its takin well over 500 and countin!!!smh "

How I See It: Anything that can be flash-cooked in 38 seconds probably shouldn't be consumed by a professional athlete. Or anyone else for that matter.

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Athlete Tweets Review 07/22/10

  • Thursday, July 22, 2010 3:17 PM
  • Written By: Katie Tang

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Trent Shelton
"You get alot of friends when you say, you got some GaGa tickets lol...Then they want them for Free! #childplease! lol"

How I See It: Easiest way to tell the real friends versus the fakers: Invite them to a Washington Redskins game in addition to the concert. All you'll hear are crickets.

Kenny Moore
"Will somebody please turn the heat off outside! Goodness"

How I See It: According to Inception, Leo DiCaprio controls everything. I'll pass along the message.

Kris Humphries
"Got my new golf clubs, gonna get my game right."

How I See It: You're going to need it. After going 12-70 this year, I'm predicting several lengthy upcoming off-seasons.

Joe Lauzon
"#Gmail is amazing. Sent an email and said "I have attached" but forgot to attach the image. So it asked me if I forgot."

How I See It: In addition to taking over the world, Google can now take over your mind.

Michael Waltrip
"im thinking Hooters for lunch. they have great food."

How I See It: And you probably read Playboy for the articles too, huh?

Alana Beard
"Just saw a guy walkin down the street in DC with 2 NY size rats on his shoulders! Can we say insane? I literally closed my eyes and drove by"

How I See It: Who needs shoulder pads when you can wear fall's hottest new accessory, shoulder rats?

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Athlete Tweets Review 04/22/10

  • Thursday, April 22, 2010 8:18 PM
  • Written By: Katie Tang

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Shaun Phillips
"Hockey is a sick as sport if they made more money I would play. I would destroy them boys. No stick needed."

How I See It: One game against Matt Cooke would change Phillips' mind. That is, if he still has his head. Just ask Marc Savard.

Serena Williams
"I will be LIVE on HSN at 12am this SUNDAY! Are you guys ready for my NEW LINE?"

How I See It: Finally a line Serena can cross, freak out about, yet not get fined for. Her accountant breathes easy for another day.

Darrell Waltrip
"arrived at the Talladega a bit ago,this places seems twice as big as Daytona,its Thursday and the infield is already quite lively !!"

How I See It: Hey Darrell, do me a favor and say hey to Ricky Bobby for me. Shake and Bake!

Pete Carroll
"there's 1 line in the movie risky business that should help you complete your search for the answer... #seahawksdraftclues "

How I See It: Taking over the head coaching job in Seattle is risky business enough.

Jonathan Stewart
"what do u want me to do dress in drag and do the hula? timon this movie is great everyone that has it sometime soon rewatch the lion king"

How I See It: Gotta love The Lion King. It's nice to see someone channeling his inner child on Draft Day. They said it best with "Hakuna Matata!"

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Athlete Tweets Review 04/01/10

  • Thursday, April 1, 2010 12:45 PM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay

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Jessica Gysin
"Wow you really can't believe a word people say today! Happy April Fools day :-)"

How I See It: Hmmm ... I’m not sure if I should believe what you are saying about not believing what people are saying.

Michael Waltrip
"well i think i will go to Nashville and watch some racing. and listen to music. and visit family and friends."

How I See It: April Fools? Yup, that’s right, Michael. We know what you are up to. Can’t believe anything you hear today.

Shawn Marion
"I just got 5 calls saying I got 5 new babies on the way april fools lol"

How I See It: Hilarious!!! (nervous laugh)

Ozzie Guillen
"I hope the fans enjoy this game and have a lot a fun"

How I See It: April Fools! What Ozzie really means is “I hope the fans do NOT enjoy this game, and I hope they have a horrible time!”

Abe Elam
"Breaking News!!!! @ithinkurwright just got traded to the LA Rams for a 1st round, 3rd round and 7th round pick!"

How I See It: First sign a tweet is an April Fools joke: saying that someone got traded to a team that no longer exists.

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Athlete Tweets Review 03/25/10

  • Thursday, March 25, 2010 8:58 PM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay

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Sean Avery
"Police escort to the Airport...."

How I See It: Most likely the police aren’t escorting Sean. They are escorting everyone else to protect them from Sean.

Jay Feely
"I remember Lloyd Carr getting mad at me (good natured) for rooting for upsets in NCAA tourney b/c I always played for Power favorites"

How I See It: I remember getting sort of mad at Lloyd Carr for losing to Ohio State a bunch of times ... and then Rich Rodriguez showed up. Now I’m really pissed.

Michael Waltrip
"I wish I was driving tomorrow. Last Friday was fun !"

How I See It: Don’t have too much fun when you drive. As the commercial says: drive drunk, you will get caught.

Chris Douglas-Roberts
"Please stop comparing that 08 Memphis team to this Kentucky team. Pleeeease! They're good, but please...stop."

How I See It: Yeah, at least Kentucky can make free throws. Ooooh, too soon?

Kenny Wallace
"I was trying to show my whole life on twitter with snap shots...About got myself killed couple times tweeting while walking into parked cars"

How I See It: Your life would not only flash before you own eyes, it would flash before the eyes of your entire base of followers.

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Athlete Tweets Review 02/26/10

  • Friday, February 26, 2010 3:47 PM
  • Written By: Dallas Wright

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Ivan Babikov
"Raining hard in Whistler this morning. We'll get wet and cold skiing today"

How I See It: Safe bet.

Jose Canseco
"There is just too many of you to help at one sitting! I have to run. Enjoy your day!"

How I See It: How screwed up must your life be when you're willing to stand IN LINE for help from Jose Canseco?

Martellus Bennett
"second bowl is always better than the 1st"

How I See It: Never lied about that.

Michael Waltrip
"I was just reminded that I had asparagus last evening."

How I See It: Some very subtle humor from Mr. Waltrip.

Chad OchoCinco Johnson
"Man I am gonna be on with the homie @revis24 on first take also, this is gonna be cool"

How I See It: Is Darrelle gonna shut you down on there too?

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Athlete Tweets Review 02/06/10

  • Saturday, February 6, 2010 5:41 PM
  • Written By: Dallas Wright

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Thurman Thomas
"If Andre doesn't make it I'm going to kick ever single voter in the coinpurse, goiterneck, and lizzardtits"

How I See It: I knew Republicans were a different species!

Rickie Fowler
"On the road to Vegas"

How I See It: Stay off the roof of your hotel. And away from Mike Tyson's tigers.

Michael Waltrip
"Raced in this race in 1985."

How I See It: For real?

Chris Paul
"REHAB..."

How I See It: This is what fantasy owners see in their nightmares.

Eric Wright
"Costco will have u thinkin u need everything.. I'm jus walkin up n down these aisles grabbin stuff.. Lol"

How I See It: Explains those shoes in your profile picture.

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Athlete Tweets Review 01/27/10

  • Wednesday, January 27, 2010 6:04 PM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay

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Michael Waltrip
"ps. i like talking about my sport. i want to send some love to my friends at Toyota. they will fix the problem. i know how much they care"

How I See It: C’mon, Michael. Buy American.

Ray Rice
"Talk to me people the pro bowl experience is going well chillin poolside getting a tan"

How I See It: No player should ever complain about the Pro Bowl location or time again. Glad to see they are practicing hard this week.

Frank Walker
"Condos on south beach. Anyone"

How I See It:Is this an auction or something? And is this what Twitter has become?

Thurman Thomas
"If u guys don't like the pro life ad they gonna air dur superbowl, write it down on a piece of paper, ball it up and eat it"

How I See It: I’ll stick to the chips and salsa, thank you.

Santonio Holmes
"Dinner at The Capital Grille!"

How I See It:If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said that ... I would not have enough money to eat at The Capital Grille.

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Athlete Tweets Review 01/19/10

  • Tuesday, January 19, 2010 8:35 PM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay

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Michael Waltrip
"I pitched a new show to the Speed executives. Its called Speedo. Me Spencer and Larry Mac interviewing fans in the infields in our bikinis."

How I See It: Can Danica Patrick be a host too?

Kenny Moore
"Haha I hate u"

How I See It: Kenny just tweeted this to his entire following base. Boom goes the dynamite.

Chevis Jackson
"chillin on the sofa... gettin ready for american idol!!!"

How I See It:Hopefully your pants aren’t on the ground.

Josh Cox
"NYTimes: Behavior: Too Much Sitting Shortens Lives, Study Suggests http://s.nyt.com/u/rTO"

How I See It: Can I start writing my will tomorrow, or will that be too late?

Nick Mangold
"Biggest Loser time!s"

How I See It: Somebody sign up Rex Ryan.

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Athlete Tweets Review: 12/19/09

  • Saturday, December 19, 2009 5:38 PM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay

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Larry Fitzgerald
"Detroit really isnt the most happening place 2 b.Its cold & snowing.We gotta take care of business 2morrow.Get a win & get home!"

How I See It: Larry Fitzgerald has been in Detroit for no more than 2 days and he already can’t wait to leave.

Stuart Schweigert
"HAHAHA Did anyone see Wyoming's incredibly blown coverage in the New Mexico Bowl?"

How I See It: Honestly, don't think anyone saw that.

Michael Waltrip
"The Cowboys will win. Wana bet ?"

How I See It: Um, yes please.

Shaun Phillips
"@qbkilla happy bday."

How I See It: Happy Birthday, Warren Sapp. The Bucs could still use you.

Brandon Jennings
"Sbhcdbjdsjovfbcdbsjhdcjvfbhvdhxcbsvfbvfj"

How I See It: I agree whole-heartedly.

Athlete Tweets Review 12/16/09

  • Wednesday, December 16, 2009 6:48 PM
  • Written By: Larry Yee

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Shaun Phillips
"If people can't text and drive then woman shouldn't b able to put on make up while there driving. True statement. Lol.s"

How I See It: And men. Trust me, I've seen that.

C.J. Wilson
"Tiger wins "athlete of decade" from AP, "pimp of the year" by smooth magazine and "customer of the week" at hooters. Focus off economy!"

How I See It: And people said he was done...

Michael Waltrip
"im hosting a Christmas party at my house. josh grobin playing on the stereo, michael buble on deck. this feels like a night to remember"

How I See It: Nothing says party night like some love ballads.

Tommy Lasorda
" http://twitpic.com/tsk02 - I'm 82 years old and they still pitch around me."

How I See It: They pitch around you cause your gut blocks the plate.

Lindsey Berg
"Watching New Moon..."

How I See It: Get ready for a sparkly joke fest for a movie.

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Athlete Tweets Review 10/26/09

  • Monday, October 26, 2009 8:41 PM
  • Written By: Dallas Wright

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Bill Romanowski
"Mike Singletary did the right choice of letting Alex Smith to start because he can push the ball down field"

How I See It: I'm going to hold my tongue. Don't want to get spit on.

Meaghan Francella
"Holy smokes!! Literally!! Fire in the kitchen during breakfast. Here comes the fire dept!"

How I See It: Was the fire coming off of a burning bush? I'm missing the literally holy part.

Michael Waltrip
"im lame. i pick 2 and a half men over mnf. looser"

How I See It: I feel bad for Mike right here. Before Twitter, only his family could make fun of his questionable taste in TV.

Ron Artest
"I'll u stream and tokbox my haircut tonight and maybe tinychat"

How I See It: I feel bad for everybody here. Before Twitter, UStream, Tokbox and pretty much the entire internet, only Ron's barber had to watch Ron get a haircut.

Martellus Bennett
"Damn I jus woke up. Geez missed a couple of things on my to do list"

How I See It: Ya think?

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Athlete Tweets Review: 10/19/09

  • Monday, October 19, 2009 5:25 PM
  • Written By: Stanley Kay

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Michael Waltrip
"So I hear tim tebow is a virgin. No wonder he has such a strong arm."

How I See It: Um, sure.

Shelden Williams
"yea so i have a tv with 897 channels but no guide button so i have to flip through all the channels if i want to watch something"

How I See It: Poor Shelden.

Darnell Dockett
"Watching film on the Giants Whhhhew these guys are good I mean great Wow don't know how we gonna even have a chance. There the BEST!"

How I See It: At least Darnell has confidence.

DeAngelo Hall
"I know a lot of fans and people wanna vent and give me there opinions about me and the team...here's your opportunity!!"

How I See It: The quarterback is below-average, the inexperienced coach is terrible, the offensive line is always hurt, the $100 million dollar acquisition is injured every three plays, the franchise player is getting a bit old, the receivers are awful, the owner sucks, the GM sucks, the stadium sucks, and the team isn’t even as good as usual in Madden this year. Thanks for letting me vent, DeAngelo. Oh, also you are better in Madden than in reality.

Swin Cash
"Palace staff, ushers, security& Mr. D(RIP) I thank you for making 2003 something magical for all of Detroit&the world to see!"

How I See It: The WNBA: Where Tulsa happens.

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