The Sound of the Suburbs

I Can Drive (DRIVE!) My Very Own Tank!
GD, those Lakers they did it again. Gasol blows a left hand gimme, then rebounds a Kobe miss to ice it.

Well, the Thunder acquitted themselves admirably and will be back. Kudos to their youthful effort, initiative and shock value, which obviously scared the crap out of themselves, hence their collapse in Game 5 and failure in Game 6.

Nice N' Sleazy Does It Every Time
Speaking of which, nice to see the Hawks overcome the most selfish first half in recent playoff history (to quote ESPN's Mike Tirico, they don't "share the stone do they?") to beat Milwaukee on Friday as they should have done in Game 5 given their surfeit of talent.

Somewhere Outside Tokyo Invented Time
The Celtics, meanwhile, hope to turn back time as they gear up for Cleveland and LBJ. I have a pretty good prediction record in round one (look it up, mofos), and I know I said Cavs in five, which I will stand by. On the other hand Boston is playing for its under-siege city and could easily take it to seven. But I'll stick with five.

Hey! Hey! Of Get Their Way Out!
Yeah, I'd say that applies to Orlando, who will crush either Atlanta or Milwaukee in a possible sweep. Vince Carter is just getting warmed up and if the refs would just let Dwight Howard play, this series will be over before it starts.

It's ... All Quiet On The Eastern Front
Translation: Orlando v Cleveland in the ECF.

I Was A Toiler On The Sea
The Nuggets missed George Karl, not to mention J.R. Smith, choking v. Utah and the monster that is Deron Williams. Good for Jerry Sloan and Mormon Nation but enjoy it now before ...

Curfew
You fall to LA.

Bring Me A Piece Of My Mummy ... She Was Quite Close To Me ...
The Spurs and vicious viscuous Manu Ginobili and his broken nose (what a stud this guy woulda been for Manchester United btw) will do The Ubangi Stomp on Steve Nash and Phoenix. Take it to the bank.

Who's That In The Shadows?
Again, the Spurs, who remind me of the 1969 Celtics, who eked into the playoffs, then beat LA and Jerry West in the infamous Don Nelson-foul-shot-off-the-back-rim-with-Jack-Kent-Cooke's-balloons-suspended-in-The-Fab-Forum-rafters Finals, one of the greatest upsets in sports history.

This healthy Spurs team with the triumvirate weaponry of Duncan/Parker/Ginobili and newbie George Hill plus DeJuan Blair and Antonio McDyess, who thirsts for a title like no player left standing in the postseason, is a force to be reckoned with. Watch out, Lakers, Cavs and Magic. Plus they have the best coach out there (sorry, Phil) in Pop.

Do You Wanna Fix My Muffler?
No, unless you're Dirk Nowitzki, who will leave Dallas as he's done all he can for this franchise and will never win a title there. And he knows it.

Death And Night And Blood ...
Which will be what the ECF will be all about, making the NBA Finals an anticlimax. Cleveland-Orlando will be one for the ages, a bloodbath where Matt Barnes and Anderson Varejao will emerge as enforcers to the death, winner take all.

Have You Got Enough Time?
The question for The Black Mamba, Senor Bryant. Can he go all the way despite his variety of injuries and defeat all comers to repeat? If so he will join Russell, Johnson and Jordan as the greatest ballers ever.

Let The Games Begin Anew ... What An Old Codger I Am ...