The Sound of the Suburbs

At last spring has sprung and the NBA Playoffs are here! It's been like waiting for JJ Cale tour dates ... excruciating. My favorite 70-year-old recently issued his 26th album, per Wikipedia. (Hell, they must be counting bootlegs because I have 'em all and by my count they number about half that but, hey, who am I to question Wikipedia.) "Roll On" is the same record he's made for decades but they're all great so go buy it immediately. He is a genius and you owe it to yourself if you like the electric guitar (which should leave no one out).

Sir Cale started his brief Western tour with two dates at McCabe's Guitar Shop in Santa Monica, capacity 150 or so, and of course your humble narrator was there both nights. After the Friday warmup gig, where I found myself seated beside actor Bruce Greenwood with Harry Dean Stanton a few rows behind (remember his "embrace confrontation" speech in "Repo Man?" The inspirational last gasp of political incorrectness, courtesy of Alex Cox).

Night two, after three numbers JJ says, "Got a couple friends who are gonna join us," and down the McCabe's upstairs steps come Tom Petty AND his ace lead gee-tar man Mike Campbell, who spent the next hour or so supplementing the quietly rockin' Cale band for any number of hits including "After Midnight," "Cocaine" and my personal favorite, "Tijuana" (sample lyric: "Hey Mister, will you take us 'cross the border, we'll work for just a quarter.") Talk about your money's worth for a twenty buck ticket.

Anyway, The Playoffs.

We all love predictions, which are usually as far off base as the Yankees' christening of the new Stadium with a nine-run Cleveland seventh inning. (What a "stretch" that must have been for Bronx Bomber faithful; thanks to the metal detectors, a collective seppuku was narrowly avoided.)

So let's get to it, and yes, I reserve the right to redo my picks after the first round.

From the top, Lakers over Cavs in six. Of course, this seems like King James' year but Bryant IS the new MJ, with a will to win unparalleled in sports besides Tiger Woods'. And Pau Gasol will shed his soft label like snakeskin as he makes Z-Man and Anderson Varejao (easily the most annoying hairdo in sports history) look like Laurel and Hardy moving a piano.

Earlier, however, I see Cleveland, Boston, Miami and Orlando in round one of the East; LA, Houston, Dallas and Denver in the West. The best series will be Houston-Portland with a young talented Trail Blazer team feeding off Rose Garden mania to extend it to seven, but the big Chairman Yao and McMurphy Artest will take care of business in the end and prevail.

In the East, well, as morbid as it sounds everybody is thinking it and somebody has to say it: Did Danny Ainge suffer a heart attack when he heard the KG news? Poor guy. Still, Danny can never be an entirely sympathetic figure in the unforgettable wake of his infamous moment as a Sun when he fired a fastball into Mario Elie's face on an inbounds play during a playoff Rocket series. Not to kick a guy when he's down but just sayin' ...

The Billups-Paul faceoff should be entertaining as well. Expect Mr. Big Shot to be fueled not only by the results of the catastrophically lopsided AI-CB regular-season deal results but his seeing Detroit's imminent, inevitable humiliation at the hands of the Cavs. Go Chauncey. Not to mention C-Anthony has a LOT to prove in the post. Few Orangemen have made an impact in the NBA, so it's about time somebody does. Sorry, Jonny Flynn --- and I hope you prove me wrong --- but I see your pro career mirroring Illini Dee Brown's. Then we have the Denver-Dallas tossup. I'll stick with the Nuggets due to the altitude factor (seriously).

Cleveland edges Orlando in the East finals and Lord Stern's ear-to-ear grin foretells record Nielsen numbers topping last year's old school BOS-LAX series. Kobe avenges his regular-season MVP loss to LBJ with the more important playoff honor, not to mention his first ring without Shaq, getting that Big Aristotle monkey off his back.

While not a fan, I have only immense respect and fear of Jellybean Bryant's offspring. Kobe Bryant will not be denied at crunch time.

Forget about Dr. Buss, Mitch Kupchak and even Action Jackson; this guy wants to, needs to, MUST prove himself to three people: Magic Johnson, Jerry West and The Wife, not necessarily in that order. He now has a better supporting cast than Jordan ever had, playing against a higher grade of evolutionary competition, and he will amass multiple rings in the fourth quarter of his astonishing career.

He sure ain't lovable, but he is the best there is, and you can only sit back and enjoy the ride of a pure hoop aesthete at the peak of his powers. Just remember the Lakers' back-to-back road whipping posts in Boston and Cleveland, without Bynum (Kupchak's second greatest move next to the Gasol Rock 'N' Roll Swindle).

Home court won't mean Jack, because Joker Jack Nicholson will be riding higher than JJ Cale in June when his boys bring it on home. Five Easy Pieces indeed.