The Sound of the Suburbs

LeBron James is one talented cat. He could easily be an NFL safety, an MLB center fielder or, for that matter, a star in any sport he picked. Instead he has chosen basketball as his vocation and we are eminently entertained by his skills.

However, he has gone off the deep end this year.

First off, there was his proclamation that MJ's No. 23 should be retired leaguewide. I am not sure what prompted this assertion, but it's one of the dumbest athlete statements in recent memory, and that's a big canvas.

Of course, Michael Jordan was an extraordinary baller, but where did LBJ come up with this notion? Was it a signal he is bound for Chicago in a year? Was it a show of consummate respect for his idol? Or was it a sign that he is losing it?

I'll take the latter.

Should we retire across the board Russell's No. 6? Jerry West's No. 44? Uh, no. Such a dumb idea it doesn't warrant further commentary.

James' Cavaliers have not looked good thus far. Both Boston and Orlando have looked far more impressive this season, and let's not even talk about the Lakers, who are in a league of their own. James craves a title, craves respect, craves mention in the same sentence as the true greats of the game: Russell, Magic, Duncan, Wilt. And with his contract leverage he must believe he can get away with anything.

But he can't.

His 23 statement somehow dwarfs the egoism of Kobe switching from numbers 8 to 24 as a statement he will surpass Jordan's titular prowess. And it's asinine.

And then there's the dancing.

Yes, I know sports is entertainment.

Yes, I know he is merely expressing himself.

But his Bob Fosse routine must stop.

I love the fact Kevin McHale said today that, in his era, the big guy with the fewest fouls would be inserted into the game to deck a clown like James after his routine to send the inevitable -- and appropriate -- message that You Can't Do That.

The NBA, like the USA, has become a politcally correct venue where physicality is not only frowned upon, but outlawed.

Gone are the days of Jungle Jim Loscutoff, Rick Mahorn and Maurice Lucas. I think the turning point was LBJ's running amok in the fourth quarter against the Pistons a few years ago in the ECF, when Flip Saunders refused to have one of his big men send the proverbial message to James that You Don't Own The Lane at The Palace.

Not that I'm advocating violence here. But basketball, like all manly men enterprises, is a contact sport. And on the professional level big money is at stake.

Showboating happens, but in-your-face dance-offs like James must be met with response; otherwise respect falls by the wayside. And LeBron, with his ability, fat equity and unfettered ego, is having his way.

McHale, of course, is the guy who horsecollared Kurt Rambis at the Fabulous Forum in the '80s during the Boston-LA Wars. So he is putting his mouth where his money once was, and he probably will be fined heavily for his statement.

But he's right. Respect is the bottom line in sports. I play in a weekly game where if you drive the lane you better be ready to get hit, because basketball is no game for the faint of heart or muscle. You play without pads and that's it.

Remember Pete Rose barreling into Ray Fosse during an ALL-STAR (!) Game? Of course you do. Pete Rose played a game, baseball in his case, like a warrior (Hall of Fame, hello???!!!). And that is the way to play.

James' dance is just like Prince Fielder and the Brewers' bowling pin routine this year: Disrespectful. You hit a game-winning dinger, fine. You wanna celebrate, fine. You're entertainers, fine. But there is a line and it's about manhood.

As much of a fun-loving big kid as he is, I bet Shaquille O'Neal wouldn't be too fond of LBJ's dance steps if he was on the other team. In fact, I bet he'd be the first volunteer to take him down without coach prodding. We may know in March if Cleveland dumps Shaq as it continues to chase superior Eastern clubs.

Memo to Senor James: Cut the crap. Make your team a winner. Be a man. Remember it's a team game and, while the goal is to kick ass, mutual respect is what keeps the game afloat.