The Sound of the Suburbs

JFC, did anybody watch Orlando-Atlanta on Tuesday night? In my everchanging playoff book, Dwight Howard, Vince Carter and enforcer Matt Barnes have gone to the front of the line as NBA Title Faves.

Yeah, I literally can't even remember who they steamrollered in round one but they're about to do the same to Mike Woodson's Hawks. So much for Atlanta being battle fresh after nipping the Fear The Deer Bucks.

Sidebar: Anybody see the classic wire story how a pair of actual deer crashed the party at a Wisconsin bar DURING Game 7 Bucks-Hawks to wreak havoc? No? Well, look it up. Unreal.

Here's guessing their field goal accuracy was better than Brandon Jennings, whose fine rookie year ended in a volley of bricks. Time will tell if the Knicks erred in not drafting him. Odds are they did.

Anyhoo, it's all about LA, San Antonio, Cleveland and now the geriatric Celtics, but ignore Orlando at your peril, Vegas. These studs are on a mission, got a six-game taste of the Finals last year and won't be cowed if they get that far this year. And they just might.

This team reminds me of the classic English PezBand's version of "Hippy Hippy Shake" (I Can't Stand Still!!!!). In other words, veiled dynamite.

Turkoglu's departure didn't catch them by surprise. They just reloaded with a more motivated not to mention talented player, Vince Carter, who actually fits their system better. Add to that a healthy Jameer Nelson (remember last year's Finals? Skip To My Lou, God love him, subbing for Nelson, inherent controversy over an injured player's return, C Lee missing a not-so-easy lob, which would have turned the tide.

Bottom line: Orlando is quite pleased with its new backcourt of Nelson and Carter, let alone tattooed love boy Barnes (the Rick Mahorn of the franchise, a walking poster child for Don't Fuck With Me), Rashard Lewis, Howard and the great Gortat (sounds like a magician, another reason to love him) and that spells trouble ... for the rest of the NBA.

This is why we love sports.

We all fall in love with some team's regular-season performance (i.e. Cleveland), expect them to win before realizing, ultimately, that they are just like US. Meaning they turn it on when they have to. But yeomanlike daily greatness means squat at crunchtime.

Who works hard 52 weeks a year? Nobody.

Who flips the switch at crunch time in their jobs? All of us.

Athletes are no different. Except for the fact they make a shitload more money than you and me.

Still, they get through the dog days, coast along, flash brilliance when necessary, then get it up when the money is on the line. And as the wise man said, Follow The Money.

That's why Orlando is a good bet. Kobe and Gasol are on the same wavelength, not to mention Fish and Artest to a lesser extent (age and freak factor being the intangibles) so they may very well get to the end, but as opined previously, San Antonio is healthy and equipped with four killers-Dice/Duncan/Manu and Mr. Longoria. If George (don't call me George Roy) Hill steps up, they will beat LA.

But I'm off task (not yet crunch time in MY job). God love the NBA playoffs. TNT should apply the We Know Drama slogan to the Ernie/Charles/Kenny circus, cuz they're at ground zero. Too bad ABC has the finals. If Greg Anthony is still on board, I may have to watch with the sound off.