The Sound of the Suburbs

OMFG! The Lakers are 2-2 on their road trip! Call Out The Dogs!

As mentioned previously, I was out of the country for a week and when I returned the next day's LA Times sports page blared TEN THINGS WRONG WITH THE LAKERS or some such nonsense. And this on top of the fact I had noticed while on holiday that they seemed to be winning every game.

So I come home, see they've won six or seven in a row even sans Bynum (yeah, he's injury prone but who'd you rather have Laker fans, Greg Oden?) So I'm thinking, What's The Big Deal?

But then again who I am kidding? People in LA are just SOFT (the weather, duh) and if Kobe and Co. don't win every game by 20+, a black cloud envelops the purple-and-gold following, talk radio, the papers, etc.

It goes something like this:

They're not ready to defend their title.

They can't defend the pick and roll.

Ariza is better than Artest.

Odom is inconsistent.

Pau is soft.

Phil is too easy on them.

Kobe is a three-faced narcissist (er, that was actually a Rolling Stone line and I have no idea what it means. From my experience narcissists have one face).

Bynum is injury-prone and foul-prone.

Fish is finished.

They should have gone 82-0 because they're better than MJ's Bulls.

Odom is inconsistent.

And so on.

Now let me be perfectly clear here:

I live in LA.

I am not a Laker fan.

And this all amuses me in major fashion.

But let's take a step back, Laker Nation.

Fact: Kobe Bryant is one of the greatest players ever to play the game.

Fact: Phil Jackson is one of the greatest coaches in league history.

Fact: Ron Artest is a proven lockdown defender when the money is on the line, which it will be once the playoffs start.

Fact: Regardless of his age, Derek Fisher has hit more clutch postseason shots than any shooting guard in the league besides Ray Allen and, er, Bryant.

Fact: Pau Gasol showed last year in the WCF and Finals he is a complete and utter post-up stud.

Fact: Lamar Odom shows up when it matters AND he's married to a Kardashian. (Note: Bob Beamon allegedly had sex six times the night before he broke the Olympic long jump record; connect the dots).

Fact: Andrew Bynum is seven foot tall and still a kid who is developing in to a dominant force in the league. (Kudos to Mitch Kupchak and I have not forgotten LA talk radio's bashing of his draft pick of AB at the time -- idiots one and all).

Fact: They won it all last year and it's a loooooong season.

Fact: Brown, Farmar, Walton, Vujacic, MBenga and Powell are solid bench players with rings.

Fact: They haven't won in Portland's Rose Garden and they got blown out by an exuberant young team in OKC who would be lucky to win one game in a playoff series against LA.

Fact: LA owns San Antonio and while Denver may give them trouble any team whose best post-up players are Chauncey Billups and Melo are not going to beat LA in a seven-game series.

Fact: Boston has no chance of getting to the Finals.

That means one thing: Only King James and HIS supporting cast are a threat to the Kobe Throne.

And that's what we all want to see and that's what we all WILL see so relax, Laker fans. Phil and Kobe will turn it up to 11 once the playoffs start, and your incessant insecure whining will prove taillight embarrassing.

Cleveland IS great. Shaq, Jamison, Varejo, M Williams, Z and the rest WILL be formidable and may very well prevail, but the Vegas money will be on LA.

So relax, chill, turn your wrath to the McCourts (don't you just love Joe Torre's FU to them by naming Vicente Padilla as opening day starter?) and wait for The Real Games to start on Tax Day.

Great as they are this Laker team is NOT the Bulls, NOT the vintage Celtics, but they are damn good and KB is all about his legacy and that alone will take them to the finals where LeBron will be waiting.

Bring It On ...