The Sound of the Suburbs

Well it's still February and a long way till the playoffs, but Celtics' fans are in a state of shock.

Even sans Paul Pierce, Thursday night was a beatdown of significant proportion by the Cavaliers. Mike Brown wishes the playoffs started now because it would be down to Cleveland v. Orlando unless Atlanta makes it interesting.

Boston is in major trouble. Not even the news that Steven Tyler has predictably rejoined Aerosmith is enough to make Beantown smile.

Cleveland just looks scary. This game was magnified by one simple play in the first half when LeBron took KG one on one from the left wing, flashed step-back footwork and drained a 22-footer. This man cannot be stopped by anyone in the league, including Ron Artest, who will draw the short straw willingly in June.

And thanks to the awful NBA non-rule, Z will soon rejoin Cleveland to spell Shaq down the stretch, and O'Neal looks reborn since the All-Star break. Antawn Jamison will take time to fit in, JJ Hickson must still get his minutes and will, and despite the fact his weird curly helmet continues to annoy me Anderson Varejao is Rodman Jr. for this team, and that's not even talking about the capable backcourt of Williams, Parker and West, with Gibson in reserve.

They're on a mission to Staples, and David Stern and Co. must be licking their chops at an all-time ratings series final a la the Super Bowl. It won't be 106M but it will be good enough no matter who prevails cuz it'll surely go six or seven.

Cleveland was superb a week ago, and the acquisition of Jamison just makes them better. The Cavs will win the East handily unless LBJ goes down.

Meanwhile in the West the Lakers remain the team to beat. Despite losing to Dallas on the back to back, they came close to a sweep and beating them four times will prove impossible for anyone in the West, and difficult for the Cavs as well.

San Antonio is dead meat unless it discovers the fountain of youth by May, and it sure ain't Richard Jefferson. OK City will spring a first-round upset if not more, Portland is trouble but it will all be fodder when LA asserts itself and wallops whomever is in its way.

When the smoke clears, it will be a headline battle of massive proportion: Kobe v. LeBron, no puppets involved. Both supporting casts are equally matched, and in a way the X factor could prove to be Shaq, who, if he can one-up Bynum, could make the difference. But then again, who guards Gasol?

The pendulum has swung west for the majority, as we will all join in the hue and cry when at least three better than .500 West teams don't make the post while a bunch of East losers (Heat, etc.) get in under the wire. We have reached the tipping point where the teams with the 16 best records should make it in because a team like Utah could give Atlanta or even Boston all they could handle in round one.

As a pathetic Detroit fan rooting for them to win the lottery by losing every game the rest of the way (good job, Rip, missing three free throws in a row at crunch time the other night v. the Paper Clips, showing why Orlando did not deal Gortat for you at trade deadline) I continue to shake my head at Joe Dumars' failure to draft DeJuan Blair, who would have had better stats than the combined frontline of Wallace, Prince and Jerebko if only Detroit didn't have brain-dead scouts and GM.

Austin Daye? Yeah, that was a great pick, Joe. Tom Wilson's exit and Mrs. Davidson's move to sell the team is a year late but still a good move. And watching the great GREAT Chauncey Billups night in and night out (wasn't he magnificent in Cleveland last week?) makes me ask again and again why Dumars thought dealing him for Allen (Who?) Iverson was a good idea.

Oh boy you got Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva with the money! Genius -- not. CV is a twit, Gordon is a perennial no-D bench player and Vinnie Johnson is shaking his head somewhere.

But who cares about the Pistons beside me>

Cleveland has the right mindset: California Here We Come. Look out.