On My Mind: Tiger, Jeter, Lakers

  • Friday, April 9, 2010 9:15 AM
  • Written By: Harry Parmenter

Share:

Man, Black Motorcycle Club's "Take Them On Your Own" is just a massive record. Deep reverb bass, cutthroat guitar, indecipherable lyrics (one of the keys to R-n-R as Muddy Waters once told Mick Jagger) and the big beat sans Texas Radio ...

Congrats to Tiger Woods for an incredible first round, especialy that eagle on 15. Then again, if you're Tiger, you gotta make the cut and be out of the house as long as possible.

We all need a final threesome of TW, Mickelson and Tom Watson. They only play in pairs? Uh, sorry.

Anyway Tiger Woods got out there Thursday despite the long layoff (no jokes here) and simply kicked ass.

But Watson, Mick, Els etc. ... God, we all underestimate golf as a sport. One round down and it's already like the NBA conference finals.

Lap it up. Why don't you come on and lap me up ...

Now let's talk MLB. Curtis F-ing Granderson, two big dingers in three Fenway days. Anybody miss J. Damon in Yankee Nation? Er, no.

And Jeter in the field at Kenmore Square. Yeah, he's finished ... NOT.

What a stud.

Savor the fan experience watching Derek Jeter in action.

Babe Ruth.

Lou Gehrig.

Joe DiMaggio.

Mickey Mantle.

Derek Jeter.

Enough said.

And on to the NBA.

Denver beats LA sans KB down the stretch in large part due to a bad call by the refs with less than :15 to play off a tap clearly credited to Chauncey B.

More fuel to the LA fire.

I am out of the prediction biz after picking Duke by 25 over Butler (moron, guilty).

But a game like this will just motivate Action Jackson in the locker room when LA inevitably faces Denver in the post.

McNabb.

Redskins.

Good deal.

Shocker to me.

I still say Jimmy Clausen is the most NFL ready QB in the draft.

Malcolm MacLaren RIP.

I don't care if The Pistols ripped off The Dolls and Ramones; after all ... It's A Swindle!

We'll never know who killed Bambi now.

1 Take  Submit Your Take   |   View All Takes

Who Are We To Cast Stones At Tiger?

  • Friday, February 19, 2010 9:50 AM
  • Written By: Harry Parmenter

Share:

That was great.

Sincere, direct, believable.

The man has sinned, but he came clean. Forgive him.

The best part to me was the emphasis on the fact these are issues between him and his wife, NOT the rest of the world. And she must be some woman, to stand by him through this.

And if she can, who are we to cast stones at him? He was earnest, looked straight into the camera and powerfully honest.

Yes, cynics can say he'd still be at it if he hadn't been caught (like a virtual ton of pro athletes past and present as we all surmise). But he did, and he knows he screwed up, and as a forgiving nation of people, we should accept his mea culpa.

I DO wonder why the camera angle changed on both Golf Channel and CNN, and I assume everywhere on pool camera from straight on to angle showing his mother and friends -- but not Elin -- because his straight-to-the-camera approach rang clearest to me.

Leave him alone, TMZ and your ilk. He's got his problems and so do we. He's rich and famous and a fallen idol, but he'll be back, and I, for one, am behind him 100 percent.

Oh, and nice blue curtain exit at the end ...

4 Takes  Submit Your Take   |   View All Takes

Chargers, Celtics, Red Sox Will Reign In 2010

  • Wednesday, December 30, 2009 11:29 PM
  • Written By: Harry Parmenter

Share:

Well it's that time of year, when blogger idiots like me throw out scattershot crystal ball opinions about What Lies Ahead ... Let's get right to it.

NFL
San Diego over Dallas in Super Bowl Whatever.

The Chargers have paid their dues, knocked on the door and gone away empty, but this is the year all that ends. Philip Rivers is surrounded by his penultimate offense, and the defense is good enough to prevail in any number of shootouts, which is what the NFL is about in The Age of Parity.

LaDainian Tomlinson and Darren Sproles will get it done on the ground, and Vincent Jackson, Antonio Gates et. al. will complement them and grab the brass (?) ring as the Chargers finally do what antecedents Don Coryell and Dan Fouts could not do: Win The Big One. Norv Turner gets the monkey off his back at long last, and there's a boat parade in San Diego. No one drowns.

The Cowboys make a brilliant run through the NFC and while not prevailing in Miami, save Wade Phillips' job. Tony Romo proves he is a great quarterback regardless of whom he's dating.

Indy and New Orleans go home bitter, but Drew Brees leads the Saints to a 2011 Super Bowl triumph while Jim Caldwell is haunted by pulling his starters and allowing the pathetic Jets into the playoffs in 2010. Rex Ryan weeps openly when the Jets are trounced by Baltimore.

NBA
Boston over LA in a classic seven-game duel. Kobe Bryant is unstoppable but Andrew Bynum fails to outdo Kendrick Perkins and Rasheed Wallace, and Rajon Rondo is the X factor. Jordan Farmar makes

a big mistake at crunch time and LA media second-guesses him to death. Ron Artest falls down the stairs after the loss and blames it on the Tooth Fairy.

Stan Van Gundy is fired after an ECF blowup with Dwight Howard, who finally realizes he needs to work on his post game in the offseason so he can become the next Hakeem Olajuwon.

Denver and San Antonio have a holy war of a semifinal that the Spurs win before falling to the Lakers in six. Nuggets players vote to remove all their tattoos, which benches them until 2015.

Tracy McGrady joins the Harlem Globetrotters for a Washington General to be named later.

Barack Obama welcomes the Celtics to the White House and challenges Brian Scalabrine to a game of one on one, wins and is reelected in a landslide. Rahm Emanuel replaces Stan Van Gundy in a government bailout.

MLB
The reloaded Yankees run away with the AL East but it is the hated Red Sox who dominate the playoffs, vanquishing their hated enemies in six before falling to Philadelphia in seven in the World Series, which will be played in February thanks to global freezing delays.

Kevin Youkilis is World Series MVP as the three-armed beast of Beckett/Lester/Lackey dominates red October and all is well in the sports capital of America, Boston.

MLS/NHL
Who cares?

Vancouver Winter Olympics
Black speedskater Shani Davis carries the USA flag into the opening ceremonies before dominating his sport with a handful of gold medals. A bewildered Madison Avenue sees the next Tiger Woods and floods him with lucrative endorsement offers.

Golf
Tiger rebounds with unqualified excellence, putting his personal problems behind him by winning the U.S. Open and Masters, while an Asian under the age of 25 wins the British Open as Tokyo celebrates.

Tennis
Brit Andy Murray finally breaks through and wins Wimbledon, while Rafi Nadal takes the U.S and French Opens. Roger Federer consoles himself with another Aussie title. The Williams sisters continue to dominate the femme field, without body-cavity threats to unsuspecting linesmen/women.

March Madness
Cincinnati runs the table and stuns perennial ACC favorites with a Final Four triumph.

UCLA coach Ben Howland is fired after an early exit.

Bill Walton takes over.

College Football
Utah astounds national onlookers with a BCS triumph over Alabama. The entire team celebrates by going on a two-year mission to try and get Mitt Romney the Republican nomination in 2012, which fails.

You read it here first ...

Decade's Best Role Models

  • Saturday, December 26, 2009 9:44 AM
  • Written By: Harry Parmenter

Share:

The term role model gets thrown around every day in sports media.

What does it mean? Tiger Woods was considered a god six weeks ago but now he is anathema to sponsors, tabloid fodder and a late night punchline.

But is that fair?

Shouldn't an athlete be judged by what he does in his field? Trust the art not the artist and all that?

My take is what we see, hear and crave as sports fans is excellence in endeavor. You think Ty Cobb was a nice guy? You think Wilt Chamberlain didn't spawn a thousand illegitimate children? You think Joe Namath was an angel?

Who cares, in my book. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone as The Bible says. Public figures are just that, people devoid of personal privacy whose business off the field is theirs and theirs alone. This media microscopic age magnifies all missteps, all blemishes, and we should all be grateful as sports fans that the same probing light is not shined on our own mundane existences. Because none of us would stand up to the glare either.

Star athletes make big money, receive constant accolades and adoration, but, like actors, politicians and corporate barons, deserve their own personal lives.

Role models are those who stretch their physical, mental and spiritual abilities and gifts to extraordinary levels, and their human foibles away from sports are irrelevant in my book.

With that said, I give you my Top Ten Athlete/Role Models of The Decade:

10) Dustin Pedroia/Kevin Youkilis
Both men symbolize the spirit and tenacity that has defined the Bosox this decade. Neither was a coveted draftee, an overnight success. To the contrary they both overachieved to embrace greatness. Like every man on this list they always hustle, always do their best, fueled by their outlier tendencies (with a big reference to Malcolm Gladwell's theory) and tenacious drive. Youk and Pedroia always give Red Sox faithful their money's worth. Neither was blessed with supreme talent and each serve as an example to young athletes everywhere with the key E word: EFFORT.

9) Michael Phelps
I could give a rat's ass if he smokes weed. I mean, REALLY. If we just legalize it, we'd kill the insidious Mexican druglord trade which, unchecked, will bring massive carnage across our border in the coming decade. But that's another story.

Phelps' success is purely based on drive. He's a big, rangy kid, an obvious natural in the pool, but he has shattered records set by mankind from across the globe and across the ages. He is a great physical specimen, of course, but swimming is work, and swimming fast is REALLY work, and nobody has ever done it better. And I'll take a guy with a bong over a guy with steroids anytime. Because smoking doesn't exactly help the lungs, ya think? He is The Aquatic God.

8) Tiger Woods
Like I said above, I don't care about his personal problems. He doesn't care about mine. We're even.

He probably should be ranked higher because his prowess on the fairways, roughs, traps and greens of the world is unparalleled. His work effort, like all on this list, is key. And he, a black man, ironically, has singlehandedly reinvented and reinvigorated an old white man's game with his genius. I see zero problem with him being named AP Male Athlete of The Decade.

7) Phil Jackson.
Knick fans like me remember the gangly, awkward Action Jackson. Read Bill Bradley's "Life on the Run" or Dave DeBusschere's "The Open Man" and you will see the real Phil.

And that guy is just good: Warm, fun, an average guy who elbowed his way to a solid career as a ballplayer before becoming one of the greatest coaches in hoop history. The Zen Master, The Montana Wildhack coach, who was the first ever to let his team chill during a timeout instead of haranguing them insistently (listen up, Van Gundys), he has rolled with the punches and ages to become the Red Auerbach of our lifetime. The modern athlete must be treated like a Stradivarius, and nobody does it better than Phil.

6) Bill Belichick/Pete Carroll.
While we're on the subject, let's include the two greatest football coaches of the past ten years, pro and college.

These guys have redefined Al Davis' Commitment to Excellence mantra. Forget about Bill's oft-criticized bedside manner; he just gets it done. Few teams without genuine superstars have maintained consistent glory and that's because the real superstar in the organization is the guy in the hoodie.

Carroll has brought college football's greatest franchise (sorry, Irish) back to glory. Go ahead, whine about the allegations of players accepting favors; you think college athletes don't get a free ride? Wake up. They should be paid. And Carroll has always been a class act -- just take a look at the inner-city work he has done from the crappy neighborhood that is USC. And don't tell me about throwing the bomb against UCLA the other day; Neuheisel is a punk and any competitor would have done the same thing.

Both these guys play in a cutthroat sandbox and do what it takes to win, and I'd bet my mortgage they've saved more souls than they've lost.

5) Kevin Garnett.
I've never seen a ballplayer sweat like this guy. That's because he leaves it on the floor every night and every practice. He slaved away for years in freezing Minneapolis and never dogged it, as so many others would have. Since joining Boston he has showed Russell-like fortitude. Now for his next act, if he can make Rasheed Wallace play hard and not implode in the playoffs, he will add the nickname Houdini to his resume.

4) Mariano Rivera.
Simply the greatest reliever in baseball history, a specialist whose surgical skills have carved the bats off numerous greats.

This religious, Panamanian import has been the dominant figure in his game since joining the Yankees. Yeah, he failed a couple of times against Arizona and Boston, but those hits merely renewed

his quest for perfection.

We will never see the likes of him again. Whatever Steinbrenner scout signed him deserves a luxury tax for life of his own.

3) Peyton Manning.
What can you say? Only Joe Montana is in the same sentence, and he had a better defense. Peyton is not only an offensive evisceration machine, he's hilarious on television (without doubt the best perf by an athlete in the history of SNL -- at least until we see Charles Barkley again in January) and an all-around good guy whose multi-talented brother Eli stands in the shadows despite himself being one of the greats of the decade.

2) Kobe.
I personally dislike The Black Mamba, but who cares? When I read that he had spent the offseason working on footwork with Hakeem Olajuwon, I could only shake my head. Didn't the same idea occur to Dwight Howard? No.

Regardless, this is a man driven to win like few others, and he never stops working. My admiration may be begrudging, but he works harder than any guy in hoop history with his God-given abilities, and the parades have only begun on Figueroa for the Lakers.

1) Derek Jeter.
Anybody who gets more hits than any Yankee in history is exceptional, but I won't remember him for his clutch hits and bat prowess. I, like you, will remember him for putting his body on the line going into the third base stands for a foul ball, emerging bloody and unbowed. I will remember him for his mental acuity, with his flip to the plate to get an astonished Oakland runner. I will remember him for running out every ball, always giving his absolute all, always honoring the game with unflagging effort and bravado.

Because that's what a role model is. Someone who embraces work. Someone who never gives up. Someone who cannot regret defeat because he has given every ounce of blood, sweat and tears he has to help his team, or himself if it's an individual sport.

Every man on this list personifies that American spirit, to be the best, to lift others and to be free.

That's what a role model means to me.