10 Feet High

Wally Szczerbiak (Miami of Ohio) – I remember sitting in gym class watching “Wally World” torch my UW Huskies for 43 points in the 1999 NCAA Tournament. Ten years later, I still hate the guy ... but I’d love to own this jersey.

Charles Barkley (Auburn) – Have you seen the size of Barkely’s ass?

Antonio McDyess (Alabama) – Classy guy who dresses well – very handsome.

David West (Xavier) – How did West slip so far in the draft? His jersey reminds people that you know your hoops.

Stephon Marbury (Georgia Tech) – Before turning into the New York Knicks anti-Christ, “Starbury” was the truth as a freshman for Bobby Cremons at Tech.

Jalen Rose (Michigan) – My favorite member of the “Fab 5,” Rose was the prototypical smooth scorer for the Blue. He is a main reason why kids today wear baggy shorts and black socks.

Chris Webber (Michigan) – Hey Webber, nice timeout, you jackass!!! If you go back and watch the tape of this game, Webber actually traveled in the backcourt, but it wasn’t called.

Larry Hughes (St. Louis) – Never figured out why he couldn’t just play the 2 spot in the league. So much talent.

Ed O’Bannon (UCLA) – Classic example of a guy making millions during the NCAA Tournament. O’Bannon was the 1995 Final Four MVP, but in reality, was never that great of a player.

Tyus Edney (UCLA) – Edney was like the college version of Mugsy Bogues. Seriously, the guy is like 3’9”. His game-winner over Missouri in the 1995 tourney was one of the most impressive arrays of speed and grace on a basketball court I’ve ever seen.



Marcus Camby (UMass) – How Calipari got Camby to go to UMass still astounds me (although I guess we now know), but their Final Four run was sensational.

Dan Dickau (Washington) – Before he gained stardom at Gonzaga, little Dan Dickau was a reserve for UW. Okay so he hasn’t been a great pro, but un-athletic 6’ point guards who make the league get my vote.

Morris Almond (Rice) – How cool would it be to have a Rice jersey? Plus, Almond is a D-League All-Star.

Vin Baker (Hartford) – Vin, Vin, Vin, what did you do to yourself? Before he discovered fast food and became the original version of “Supersize Me,” Vin was quite a player.

Danny Manning (Kansas) – 1987 National Champs ... 7 seed.

Antonio Gates (Kent State) – Before Gates decided to become an All-Pro tight end, he helped lead Kent State – yes Kent State – to the 2000 Elite 8.

Tony Gonzalez (Cal) – Gonzalez single-handedly catapulted me to third place in fantasy football last season. Also a tremendous dresser.

McNabb Syracuse – Before getting booed on draft day, McNabb played averaged about 1.2 points per game for the ‘Cuse. Ongoing poll I’m researching – “Could Donovan McNabb dunk a basketball ... today? 81 percent say no, 16 percent say yes, and 3 percent say “That fat ass?” No way.

Richard Hamilton (UConn) – Hamilton provided perhaps the worst moment of my youth with his game-winner against UW in the 1998 Sweet 16. I might regret admitting this, but I literally cried for three days straight. It got so bad, that my mom asked me if I needed psychiatric therapy. I still curse RIP, but oddly enough have a desire to own this jersey ... probably to burn it.



Khalid El Amin (UConn) – Best clinically obese point guard in college basketball history.

Mateen Cleaves (Michigan State) – Wait, wait a minute. That distinct honor belongs to Mateen Cleaves. Also had the most publicized ankle injury ever.

Mike Krzyzewski (Army) – Before he was Coach K, the coaching legend was a scrawny guard for Bob Knight at West Point.

TJ Sorrentine (Vermont) - Sorrentine single handedly ruined my 2005 bracket by hitting a parking lot shot on the ‘Cuse in one of the bigger tournament upsets in recent history. Plus, I like the way Vermont Catamounts sounds.

Eric Maynor (VCU) – Who will ever forget Maynor’s game winner over Duke in the 2008 Big Dance? The best was seeing the look on Krzyzewski and Chris Collins’ faces. I would pay to see that any day. Maynor will be a surprisingly good pro in Utah.



Kermit Washington (Lakers) – He literally ruined the career of Rudy Tomjanovich with a punch that might have even knocked out Manny Paciuao.

Kenny Anderson (Georgia Tech) – Another one of the legendary Brooklyn point guards . . . What the hell happens to these guys once they reach the league?

Buzz Peterson (North Carolina) – Deemed by many as a bigger recruit than MJ out of high school when he signed with Carolina. Where is Bob Gibbons when you really need him?

Denzel Washington (Fordham) – Did you know the Jesus-Jake one-on-one match-up in “He Got Game” was NOT scripted? Yes, Denzel banked in several jump shots over Ray Allen. I hate to do it, but how bad is Ray Ray on defense? Okay, that is the most you’ll ever hear me criticize the best shooter in the history of the league. Sorry, Walter.



Percy Miller, aka “Master P” (Charlotte Hornets Summer League) – Awful rapper, even worse basketball player, yet somehow got a tryout with the old Charlotte Hornets. Side note: his son is apparently going to play ball for USC, yet I heard he barely averaged double digits in high school. Hmmmmm.

Marco Belinelli (Summer League Warriors roster) – I love this dude. Just shoots 3’s and plays no “D,” yet he still can’t find his way into Nellie’s line-up. His one solace? I do think he’s on pace for the all-time Summer League scoring record.

Marco Jaric (Clippers) – What is a more asinine statement? Jaric pulling Adriana Lima or a Chinese man being 7-7? Hard choice, but given the absurdness of the first statement, I have to go with the former.