SportsFanLive Reports

Bobby Sabelhaus was the nation's top-rated quarterback prospect in 1995. He signed with Florida and coach Steve Spurrier but never played a down for the Gators. This weekend, Sabelhaus returns to Gainesville for the first time in 13 years, and in this exclusive to SportsFanLive.com, he shares the details of his recruitment, his struggles and his eventual departure from Florida. Honest, unvarnished and unfiltered ... Sabelhaus gives us an unprecedented look inside the high-stakes world of big-time college athletics. Here is Part Three: A Shocking Diagnosis, Leaving Gainesville and Life After Football.

If you missed Part 1 of the story about recruiting, click here.
If you missed Part 2 of the story about his time at Florida, click here.

By Bobby Sabelhaus

My spring game was a catastrophe. I think my stats were 2-5 with two interceptions. Spurrier yanked me from the lineup because he said he “wanted to give my team a chance to win.” There was an article written in a local paper after that game with the headline “The Lost Gator.” My relationship with Spurrier was strained, and I knew my time in Gainesville was limited. I went home that summer to Baltimore to try and clear my head and make sense of things.

My father had read about renowned sports psychologist Bob Rotella and introduced the idea of me sitting down with him. Bob had worked with some of the most talented PGA golfers of the time. After my brief stint with hypnotherapy, I was reluctant and had a hard time believing anything would get me back on the football field. While his advice and guidance were valuable, my time with Dr. Rotella was unsuccessful.

Unbeknownst to me and my family, I was suffering from something much deeper. A pat on the back wasn’t going to cut it. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I did know that I had lost all motivation to do even the simplest tasks in life. There were some days where getting out of bed seemed impossible. I was in a constant fog. My family was unbelievably supportive and wanted to get to the bottom of why I was feeling this way.

I ended up at Johns Hopkins Hospital and met a doctor in the psychiatry department. After just two visits the doctor diagnosed me with Bipolar II Disorder. I was shocked! Not me, there had to be a mistake. I wanted to believe I was stronger than that. I came to realize later that it didn’t have anything to do with strength. After the denial subsided, I was ready and willing to treat it. This was unchartered territory for my family and me, but I knew with them beside me, I would make it through this.

One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was walking away from my scholarship at UF. I had worked so hard to get an opportunity to play Gator football and then, it was gone. I kept thinking how could this happen to me? This was not a part of the plan. At 19 years old, I had never faced such adversity in my life. Having dyslexia was certainly a challenge, but depression was a whole new mountain to climb. I knew I had to put my health first, though, and being a part of Spurrier’s program proved too much for me. I hated abandoning my teammates. We spent a lot of time together and talked about winning championships with one another. I know there were a handful of guys who probably didn’t understand why I left, but it was the best thing for me at the time.

About six months after I left UF my mother received a call from an academic advisor who said she’d held a conference for coaches so they would better understand how to teach players with learning differences like dyslexia. She told my mother Coach Spurrier walked up to her after the conference and said he “had failed me as a coach. He didn’t understand my needs as a player.” Whether those were his exact words or not makes little difference to me, but I was relieved to hear student-athletes

Bobby Sabelhaus with Eric Kresser, Coach Steve Spurrier, Danny Wuerffel and Brian Schottenheimer (who's now the Jets offensive coordinator).

with learning challenges were being better understood and that their needs were being met.

Once my transfer hit the newspapers I was contacted by a few coaches. Phillip Fulmer of Tennessee, Barry Alvarez of Wisconsin and Bob Toledo of UCLA all expressed interest in me. But I still wasn’t ready to step back on the football field. I ended up transferring to a junior college in Los Angeles to maintain my eligibility and then went on to sign with West Virginia. My time as a Mountaineer was brief after learning that they wanted me to play tight end.

After leaving West Virginia my family was introduced to NFL draft analyst Mel Kiper Jr. who happened to be from Baltimore and had followed my football career since high school. He read about my situation and told my parents that they should consider sending me to meet quarterback guru Steve Clarkson. At the time he had worked with Gino Torretta and Todd Marinovich to prepare them for the NFL draft. Since then he’s trained Matt Leinart, J.P. Losman, Jimmy Clausen and Ben Roethlisberger. We contacted Clarkson and he agreed to sit down with me so I flew out to Los Angeles where he was based. After we talked in his office for a bit he took me onto the practice field so he could see where I was in terms of ability. We threw the football around for a bit and within a short while he said he could get me throwing with confidence again and back onto the football field with a Division I team.

Within a week I was living in Los Angeles and training with Clarkson. My training with Clarkson was beyond helpful. I spent five months working with him on every aspect of the game. I had regained my confidence to throw the football and was exceeding my own expectations. He worked on getting me a scholarship to his alma mater, San Jose State. After enrolling and having a good spring practice, I had positioned myself to compete for the starting job. With things seemingly on the mend, I never would have guessed that my depression would rear its ugly head again. I just wasn’t able to get it under control. I was immature. I wasn’t taking my medication. I had taken care of getting myself back in shape physically, but mentally I was not where I needed to be. I realized that the time had come for me to give up my dream of playing football.

Ultimately, my experience at UF shattered my confidence and I wasn’t able to go on and succeed in football anywhere else. Playing for Spurrier may have exacerbated the problem but I realize whether I had chosen Michigan or another school, my depression would have surfaced regardless. Dyslexia and bi-polar disorder are highly misunderstood conditions. It was a supremely humbling experience at a young age and I learned invaluable life lessons. Everyone has to face challenges in their life at one point or another. All you can do in life is keep moving forward, keep learning from every experience, and reflect upon mistakes and setbacks so that the same things don't keep happening over and over again.

Over time I learned that I had to take responsibility for my own happiness and success. I had to make drastic lifestyle changes in order to cope with my depression. I figured out what worked for me, a combination of exercise, eating well and not drinking has made all the difference. The California sunshine doesn’t hurt either!

I’m now in Los Angeles living my new dream as a film producer. My father has always told me “winners come back” from adversity. When you hit a roadblock, find a way around it and just keep moving! I’m doing my best to meet life’s challenges head-on every day. Some days are harder than others but I have the power to control my thoughts by dispelling the seeds of doubt and replacing them with seeds of promise.

I’m thrilled to be going back to UF this weekend. It’ll be refreshing to see Gainesville through a new set of eyes.