SportsPants

The NFL owners look to be going ahead with their idea for an 18-game schedule as the future of the NFL. Let's take a look at who wins and who loses with this decision:

WIN- Owners: Mo money, mo money, mo money! That's what this all comes down to. Fans aren't falling for the pre-season garbage anymore and stadiums are only half filled, so the owners now make the games count and watch the green come flooding in.

FAIL- Players: Think you were sore after a 16-game schedule? Get ready to have your career further shortened and go ahead and say goodbye to your knees and various other joints right now.

WIN- Agents: Mo money, mo money, mo money! Don't think the additional gate for two extra games won't be involved in future contract negotiations.

FAIL- Veterans under contract: What is Darrelle Revis doing? He's trying to get this multi-year contract right now, which is being discussed under a 16-game schedule. Soon he'll realize that he could have made more. Pity the veteran that has his multi-year contract already in place. He'll have to play the extra games, but won't get paid for them. Well, don't actually pity him ...

WIN- Wild card teams: Two more games to right the ship and get momentum going as you go into the playoffs.

FAIL- Fans of early division winners: Remember the Colts last year? They had the division sewn up by Week 13 and the final games were this mish-mash of reserves throwing out a complete gong show while everyone asked if the team was losing its mojo with the sudden loss of intensity in games. Now add two extra meaningless games at the end of the Indy season. Yawn.

WIN- Coaches on the hot seat: Two extra games to try and prove you belong before the inevitable guillotine falls on your headset.

FAIL- NBA, NHL, Major League Baseball etc: The juggernaut NFL puts in two more regular-season games = two more weeks where Americans completely ignore your sport. Just deal with it. The NFL is a machine.

WIN- 1972 Miami Dolphins: Those annoying men in aqua have long beaten us down with their yearly champagne parties once the final undefeated team loses in the NFL. Yes, they went undefeated. The 2007 Patriots actually won more games, but since Belichick's boys couldn't take out the Giants in the Super Bowl, it wasn't a perfect season. Now you add two extra games. It will be nearly impossible for a team to go undefeated ever again. Once again , we'll hear the likes of Don Shula and Mercury Morris babble on about how their team was the best ever because of the perfect record despite the fact that the Dolphins played a ridiculously easy schedule during a 14-game season. Joy.

FAIL- Fantasy football players: Get ready for more injuries and more giant red "Questionable" tags attached to the players on your team. My head hurts just thinking about it.

WIN- NFL Fans: More football = happy me.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

If you're a fantasy football player, the beginning of NFL training camps throughout the country makes you pay close attention to the news, not because training camps are so interesting, but because you want to see which players go down with the inevitable training camp injuries.

This year has been no different. We haven't even made it to the first pre-season game yet and already you have reports of star receivers like DeSean Jackson and Percy Harvin being carted off the field, soon to be star running back Knowshon Moreno blowing a hamstring, and big named rookie Dez Bryant suffering the dreaded high ankle sprain on the second-to-last play of practice.

It's part of the game with a sport this violent. Guys will get hurt. More are going to get hurt too because when draft picks don't sign and players hold out, they come in behind and aren't up to speed with the rest of the players. Then they take a brutal shot and whammy, they're out for another three weeks.

But does the NFL pre-season really need to begin in late July? There was a time when players needed training camp to get back into playing shape. Today there is no real off-season in the NFL with all of the organized team activities, rookie mini-camps and "voluntary" workout sessions. Most players come into camp ready to go. In fact, many teams have conditioning tests before camp even starts.

Sure, players get timing down and have more time to learn the play book, but is that more important than giving their bodies a rest before the onset of a brutal 16-game regular season? Ask any player and they'll tell you that they get tired from camp and they aren't really fresh for the regular season.

The reason we have such a long pre-season is one reason: Money. Owners don't want to give up the earnings they can get from four meaningless pre-season games.

Okay, so that's not going to change. Why not have a one-week training camp followed by the four games? Guys are preparing during the week just like they would during a regular season. They've had a week to shock their systems back into football mode and now have the four games to look forward to.

Better yet, open training camp at the normal date, but for rookies, new additions, and bubble players. That way they can get work in while the veterans can relax until mid August. You don't have to tell the Philadelphia coaches that DeSean Jackson is going to make the team. He doesn't need to run drills all day.

I'm a football fan! I want to see the best players doing their thing out there. I don't want to see an All-Pro lying dead on the field in August. I know these kind of things will happen because of the nature of football, but can't the NFL at least let players go into a season without feeling like they just finished one?

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

Call it Crimson Tide corpulence or Bama blubber. Call it whatever you want, but it could be a problem down there in Tuscaloosa.

Not a huge problem, at least not in the sense that it's a major concern to Nick Saban. After all, he just won a national championship, so how bad can things be?

Well, for two years in a row now, an Alabama player has come into to the NFL with considerable baggage. As in girth. Too much actually.

Remember last year when we were all assaulted with the awful image of man-boobs during Bama lineman Andre Smith's workout for the NFL? Here's a reminder:



Yummy.

Smith was still selected by the Bengals as a top ten pick despite his obvious conditioning issue. He held out of training camp, then came in and promptly broke his foot. Season lost. We'll see what he does this year.

Apparently that wasn't a singular problem for a player coming out of Alabama. This year, nose tackle Terrance Cody (his nickname of Mount Cody might give you a hint to his body type) failed his conditioning test and is not allowed to participate in Baltimore Ravens training camp.

I know offensive lineman and nose tackles don't need to look like Greek statues to do their jobs, but not being allowed to practice is pretty extreme in that fatty department.

At least these guys aren't involved in sexual assault cases (insert fat joke here as to why), but in a region of the country that's already under fire for the astounding number of obese citizens, the Crimson Tide are quickly developing a reputation that will make them the butt (see?) of many jokes.

So Bama fans can hold up there pointer finger to let everyone know that they won the title, but you don't win those every year and when the victories stop, the critics will pile on. I'm not even trying anymore.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

NFL Veteran: "Hey, rookie. Carry my shoulder pads back to the locker room."

NFL Rookie: "I'm not here to carry your shoulder pads. Carry them yourself."

Fan of team: "Aw crap."

There's nothing logical about NFL rookie hazing. The embarrassing haircuts, ice water baths (mixed with some pretty rank stuff), food runs 30 minutes before the team charter is supposed to leave the airport. It's all unneeded and completely over the top in what is supposed to be a professional atmosphere.

But this is the NFL. There's nothing logical about anything you do. If there's a guy who outweighs you by 70 pounds running straight at you, logic would suggest you get the hell out of his way. Football logic says you go crashing into him, compressing your spine and rattling your brain.

It's a bizarre, violent world here which is why Dez Bryant needs to shut up and carry the damn shoulder pads. Bryant says he's here to play football, not carry people's equipment. I agree with him. And I think he should shut up and do what he's asked.

It's like an African savanna where the males of a certain species are all posturing and showing their power. When an elder male does a dance and violently approaches a younger one, the younger one bows down, submits to the older one and then life goes on. The younger one will have his day in the sun, just not yet.

And that's where we run into the real problem here at Dallas Cowboys' training camp. The older animal doing the posturing is the one the younger animal was drafted to replace.

Roy Williams has been nothing short of a disaster since the Cowboys overpaid in a trade to get him. What's worse, as bad as Williams has been on the field for the Cowboys, he's been just as delusional off of the field. After a season where Miles Austin became the clear go-to guy for the team, Williams has been spouting off about how he's always been the guy no matter where he's played and how he considers himself the No. 1 receiver even though he's the only one who believes this.

To summarize, you've got a veteran desperately holding onto his star power and you have a prized incoming rookie who has been called the biggest incoming talent since Randy Moss blew the NFL up a decade ago.

It's a tense situation. One that takes sacrifice for both players. If Roy accepted Dez and played a diminished roll in the Cowboys offense (third wideout, slot receiver, whatever), the Cowboys offense could hum like never before. Dez, however, has to make sure he placates ol' Roy's ego and admits that he's just the rookie no matter how good he is.

It hasn't been a good start and now the situation among Dallas receivers has become tense and while Dez Bryant may clearly be the better talent, he is still just a rookie who needs to prove to teammates that he'll be there when the chips are down during the season.

My guess is that other Cowboys veterans will now step in to squash the uprising of Dez. They may like him more than Roy, they may think he gives them a better chance to win, they may secretly hope Roy gets traded or cut. It doesn't matter; Bryant is a rookie. There doesn't have to be any logic used.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

So that decision is over and LeBron is off to the Miami Heat.

Some of the Facebook and Twitter posts I see range in tenacity, but they all say basically the same thing:

-It's easy to root against LeBron now

-Real competitors don't go to a superstar team to win

-The very short and sweet "F*ck you, LeBron."

I'm guessing that's the just of the messages originating anywhere outside of Miami. I know this whole extravaganza has just been beaten to death, so I'll try to be short and sweet.

1) ESPN is now officially a joke. What a pathetic display of "journalism." They spent an hour lofting softballs at LeBron so he could have his little one-hour not-variety hour. That made me sicker than ESPN usually makes me. Every person involved in that should go apologize to Edward R. Morrow tonight. It was fitting the Stuart Scott lead that thing.

2) Let's get everything straight with what we're complaining about. Most people bitch about how athletes just follow the money wherever they go. This is not that case. This move was made to win championships. Remember that the next time you whine about a guy following the money.

Here are my conclusions:

LeBron is no longer the King. The King doesn't worry about joining other superstars to ensure a championship. Jordan stuck with the same team and it took him years to win. Then he won six. Hakeem spent years missing championships. He got his two at the end of his career. But it was his team. The Bad Boys were together for years before they got their two. Guys who won early like Magic, Bird and Duncan got lucky enough to be drafted by teams that were ready to go.

What LeBron has done is effectively take the alpha out of his male. He's no longer the guy you build a team around because he can't handle being a foundation. He's not strong enough.

It's funny because LeBron kept talking about his legacy. His decision was made because he wanted to have his championship legacy. Well, maybe he'll get a ring, maybe he'll get several. It won't matter, his legacy is already tarnished. He couldn't hack it alone. He'll never live that down no matter how many rings he gets.

This is a guy who was given everything in Cleveland. Don't like what the G.M. is doing? He's gone. Don't trust the coach? See ya, Mike Brown! Cleveland fans hung on his every word (which I'd think would be a plus for a man of that ego.) He was the hometown kid; whatever he wanted within reason would have been given to him. He was the man. Not for the Cavs, but for the entire city.

And it wasn't enough that LeBron just left Cavs fans out to dry. He had to call a one hour ego-fest to let Cleveland know that he didn't think he could be successful there. Imagine getting dumped by your hot boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse via cable television. They couldn't just leave you a note. They had to embarrass you too.

Now James lies with Art Modell in the catacombs of Cleveland sports. He's reviled and he won't be forgiven soon by the jilted fan base. He was their shining light and he lit them on fire.

Look, it's a free country, but when you make the money these guys do, I think you have a civic duty to a city that drafts you. It doesn't always work out and I'm in no way saying guys should be stuck with whatever team that drafted them. But James had everything he wanted in Cleveland and he still left them. And he strung along fans while he did so.

This sets a dangerous precedent. Future stars may see this move as their chance to manufacture a championship. It goes against every principle of sports competition.

And what happens to teams located in places like Utah and Sacramento? Obviously, Cleveland doesn't have as much to offer as a South Beach for a young hip-hop guy like LeBron. Neither do places like Indianapolis or Milwaukee. They aren't bad cities and they have great basketball fans, but they just aren't big night scenes that young, rich guys might like. So should the Kings, Bucks, Pacers, Jazz and others just pack up shop?

Tonight was a sad night that struck most people as a complete farce and insult to the competitive spirit of professional sports. While this might be a low moment, have no fear. Kevin Durant quietly signed an extention with the Oklahoma City Thunder. No bells and whistles, no hour long specials, not even a big market. The Thunder are young and talented. You now have your anti-Heat to root for, the ying to the Heat's yang.

Go, Thunder.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

NBA insanity, Dutch delight, All-Star snubs, paid off by popcorn, and our favorite fatty strikes again.

Click here for the weekly episodes.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

No, not the actual John Madden. He wouldn't know what was happening (more so than usual), plus I don't believe there is a roadway that runs from the U.S. to South Africa, so the Madden Cruiser would have to become a submarine.

What I mean is that in soccer's great quest to become a relevant spectator sport in the states, it does itself no favors by putting British announcers in American games. People already see it as an outsider's sport, why hammer it home? Yet as I watch the World Cup, I keep find myself saying, "Who talks like that?"

When I stop down to the World Cup, I want a guy who enjoys the game thoroughly and is almost a soccer idiot savant. He can be blunt, he can be blue, hell, he can be drunk. I just want him to show me that he can enjoy soccer in more than a "this is such a beautiful game" sort of way."

That's where the Madden comparison comes in. John Madden was famous for noticing all the little things during a game. Nothing tactical, but the little details of a game that the camera doesn't catch. He'd point out the sweat on linemen, he'd find if there was an issue with the Gatorade, and you can bet he'd find a guy who nearly tripped walking back to the huddle. Plus, he spoke in a way that made him seem like your kooky neighbor or your favorite bizarre uncle.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, I can give you some hints. The following sentences should never be spoken on an American broadcast:

"That's a well struck ball."

"He needs to strengthen his fitness."

"Difficult first touch there."

"He used a heavy boot on that cross."

That's not how we speak here. And what's worse, there are American broadcasters who speak like that. Who are you, Madonna? You are American! We don't drink afternoon tea and we sure as hell don't describe a guy coming off an injury as getting his fitness back.

I want a guy who can show me the jersey grabbing, the smack talking, and who can make fun of the divers and divas in the soccer pitch. I'm sorry, I mean soccer field. If he's not American, he needs to be a drunk Irishman who is prone to angry outbursts.

What we need is soccer's version of John Madden. A guy who thoroughly enjoys the game and has a way to communicate that to the average American without making them feel like moronic rednecks. He sees things in the game that interest Americans: Violence, feats of athletic achievement and really embarrassing gaffes.

Just give the guy a telestrator and let him roll. Boom!

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

John Wooden led the UCLA Bruins basketball team to 10 NCAA championships, including an unmatched streak of seven in a row from 1967 to 1973. He also won 620 games including a mind-boggling 88 straight games.

Yet to define the Wizard of Westwood by those numbers would be insulting.

Wooden was a rare coach who is nearly extinct in today's big business, media glitz sports atmosphere. Wooden actually taught his players about life. He cared. He didn't pretend to care in front of the media. He didn't go through the motions to make it seemed like he wanted to help these young kids. His calling was to teach. The wins were an off-shoot of that.

You can tell this because when Wooden died this weekend, his ex-players didn't sum him up with the games they won or the trophies. They talked about what they learned about life under Wooden. The winning helped, of course, but don't forget that Wooden didn't win a championship for the first 16 years he was at UCLA.

Sixtenn years? Can you imagine a coach staying at a school for 16 years without winning a title these days?

Once the winning started, it was like an avalanche. Wooden had his pick of top players around the nation. Yet you didn't hear of off-the-field problems for these superstar recruits. Sure, the media eye wasn't as focused on sports at the time, but even when they graduated college, you didn't see Wooden students fall apart.

Listen to the interviews of former UCLA, how they speak of Wooden, how the carry themselves during the interview. Now imagine what that would be like for John Calipari or Rick Pitino to be remembered. It's like comparing a fast-food burger to Filet Mignon -- both get the job done, but you only remember one years down the road.

For those of us who didn't know him, we look at Wooden's wins in amazement. For those who did know him, what they remember is anything but the stats.

Where have all the Wizards gone?

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

You've no doubt run across the story of how Detroit pitcher Armando Galarraga was robbed of a perfect game by a blown call by umpire Jim Joyce. The blown call happened on the final out of the game and was the difference between Galarraga having the 21st perfect game in MLB history and having just another well pitched game.

Normally, this would make a sports idealist like myself blow his top. In fact, some of my friends did blow their tops as the festering problem with baseball umpires not being punished for sub-standard game calling exploded onto the front page.

It was a tragedy, it was awful, it left a bad taste in your mouth. The MLB suits were shown just how their inaction and fear of any progressive change negatively affected their sport. Again.

You can bitch about all of that, but don't cry for Armando Galarraga because he's about to get more publicity than he ever dreamed of.

There have been three perfect games in the past year. Those three guys are in the record books. But when people look back on the 2010 baseball season in the near future, they will not think of Dallas Braden or Roy Halladay. They will think of Galarraga and the Great Game Robbery.

The first two were cool sports moments. This is drama. This hits home with any person who feels they have been screwed over by the powers that be. You had it figured out, but the boss came by and shot it all to hell. We've all been there at some point before.

As for umpire Jim Joyce, the other umps should send him a thank you note because he is now the unofficial face of shoddy game calling. It's too bad because Joyce made an honest mistake (albeit a terrible one) and later apologized with sincerity. Meanwhile, the idiot umps that are too busy giving attitude to call a game get to skate by. That's the real tragedy of this situation.

No need to worry about Galarraga, though. While he won't go down in the history books like his predecessors, he will be at the top of every trivia card from here on out and in the court of public opinion, he did indeed threw a perfect game.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

Oh look, the Celtics are playing the Lakers for an NBA championship.

Again.

These two teams have met for a title 11 different times (Celtics have won nine, mostly during their dominant run in the 60's.) Even when they aren't playing each other, one of these teams is usually in the championship hunt. Boston has 17 titles while the Lakers have 15.

32 titles? 32? How long has the NBA been a major player in sports, 50 years? That's ridiculous.

Imagine two NFL teams being responsibly for 70 percent of all Super Bowl titles. Would that get a little old maybe? The Pats have only won three titles this decade and people are sick of them. The Dallas Cowboys showed up in five Super Bowls in the 1970's and became the loved/hated America's Team.

As annoyingly dominant as the Yankees have been in baseball, you can at least name five or six teams off the top of your head that have won the World Series besides the overpaid boys in pinstripes. Plus, baseball stretches back to the pre-Depression era, so there is a much bigger sample size to work with.

The point is that unless you live in Boston or Los Angeles, you enjoy watching sports dynasties win multiple championships, or you're a front-runner, this act is getting old.

It will be a good match-up, but what are we rooting for? Either way, one team's annoying and spoiled fan base will beat their chests and behave in such a generally arrogant way, you'll want to throw up. Wow, that sounds great, and while we're at it, can we get Donald Trump some more television time?

If you're hard up for championship sports right now, try something new. Watch the Stanley Cup finals in the NHL.

Two teams with passionate fan bases are trying for their first championship in a generation. They've already played two games and both have been classics. The Chicago crowd has been so excitable, they're roaring as the National Anthem was being played. You can bet the Flyers fans will return the energy as the series switches venues.

I don't want to hear that you don't understand hockey. I grew up in Dallas, I knew nothing about it. You'll catch on quickly. And then you'll understand it's greatness.

As for the NBA, call me when something new happens.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

The weekly PantsCast is up and it's time to have your ears listen to it.

This week's episode: A lot of power for a 25-year-old, snowball fights at the Super Bowl and a superhero with a burrito in his pants.

Click here for the episodes.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

By now you've probably heard about the rumors concerning LeBron James' mom having and affair with James' teammate Delonte West.

James' lawyer says that's not true, but he's, you know, a lawyer. Others claim that it's absolutely true, but they don't exactly have ... ahem ... hard evidence.

True or not, this rumor is now being blamed for LeBron's sudden disappearance from the playoffs against the Celtics. The NBA MVP apparently found out about the affair during the series and just mentally checked out.

You could also probably blame Boston's nasty defense for shutting LeBron down, but for argument's sake, let's just say it was the affair. How do you rebound from that next year?

I'll tell you how.

The Cavaliers need to bring in Jake Taylor to soothe things out. Taylor, of course, is the aging catcher of the possibly fiction Cleveland Indians baseball team portrayed in the movie Major League.

Now Taylor is a baseball guy, so he can't be anything more than a consultant, but he played for the Indians so he's already familiar with Cleveland. Perhaps his signing will help lure LeBron back.

The real value of Taylor comes in the form of moderator between teammates. Remember in Major League, Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn was seduced by Roger Dorn's wife as an act of revenge against Dorn's cheating ways. Then she told Dorn! What a heartless bitch! Didn't she know there was a pennant to win?

Anyway, the Indians arrived at the ballpark to play the Yankees for the pennant only to find out Dorn knew the Vaughn had slept with his wife. It was a tense period, but Jake Taylor managed to sort the whole thing out and with his help, the Indians won.

Taylor has the history the Cavs need for a locker room presence, plus, he's a proven winner. In fact, when Taylor left Vaughn, I hear Vaughn fell back into drug use and even threatened his spouse with a knife. Oh, to have the silky interpersonal touch of Jake Taylor back!

The Cavs have the issue of re-signing LeBron, but if they get him back, Taylor should come right afterward. He can show LeBron the ropes while possibly even bringing in Willie Mays Hayes for a pep talk. The result very well could be a trip to the Finals. Then when the Cavs are celebrating on the floor, LeBron would punch Delonte West, then help him up and they'd embrace. It would be a Hollywood ending. In Cleveland.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

We always hear about athletes pushing their bodies to the brink during intense workouts.

Most fans can talk about how they benched 350 pounds or ran a 4.3 40-yard dash in high school (actually, the benched 295 pounds once and only ran a 4.3 because it was a 30-yard dash), but the only thing they lift now are beer bottles, and the only thing involving the numbers 4 and 3 is the 43-inch waist size of their pants.

But here's a way to push yourself to the limits if you're a couch potato fan today. It doesn't involve gorging yourself on pounds of food or imbibing a bottle of tequila. No, this involves a relatively small amount of food.

And an intense amount of pain.

Ladies and gents, I give you the Bhut Jolokia chili pepper. Also known as the Ghost Chili. Also known as death with a stem.

Think you're tough? Did you eat those Habenero-soaked chicken wings in under eight minutes? Good. Now it's time to move on. The Bhut Jolokia is more than ten times hotter than a Habenero pepper.

Jalapenos are for wussies. You can eat those at midnight after waking from a dead sleep. Don't bother with them any more. Take a swing at the big boy.

It's the hottest chili in the world. You talk a big game, now back it up. Take on the champ.

Of course, you may end up like this guy:



Let the spirit of competition consume you! And beware the burning ring of fire.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

Whew! There are so many things going on in the world of sporting activities that I'm going to have to prioritize here and just post as often as I can.

Let's start with the first story:

If you haven't read the Sports Illustrated article about Ben Roethlisberger, you're in for a treat. The article sends Ben from just a player with idiot tendencies to a full-blown pile of garbage. Face it, the guy is a jerk and the Steelers are well within their rights to consider getting rid of him.

But who would they bring in to replace Big Ben? Roethlisberger is a failed human, but he's a good football player and his ability to shake off tacklers and make plays when none are there is the only reason why the Steelers score points. A smallish quarterback who goes down in the arms of blitzing defenders won't get it done.

So who can replace Big Ben? Well, how about Gentle Ben?

It's the same first name and both Ben's are over-sized for the quarterback position. Let's look at the comparison of two Ben's that might helm the quarterback position for the Steelers:

Big Ben: 6'5" 240 lbs.

Pros:

-Two time Super Bowl Champion.

-Ability to scramble and make plays when things break down on the offensive line.

-Ability to drink heavily and remain in playing shape.

-Hard to bring down on blitzes.

-Hard to bring down by the law.

-Spectacular player at Uno card game.



Cons:

-Reckless in his personal life.

-Has asked Steelers to let him play without a helmet.

-Tendency to nearly die when riding his motorcycle.

-Certifiable moron.

-Scrambling tendency opens him up to fumbling the ball.

-Gives half-hearted apologies

-Generally viewed as an arrogant, inconsiderate, bad human being who has somehow worn out his welcome in Pittsburgh despite winning two Super Bowls.

-Tendency to rape. Allegedly.

-Dresses like a douchebag.

-Is a douchebag.



Gentle Ben 6'11" 432 lbs.

Pros:

-Better person than Roethlisberger.

-Good with kids.

-Weighs more than most football players and will be difficult to bring down.

-Will accept payment in honey.

-Not likely to be accused of sexual assault.

-Doesn't ride motorcycles outside of a circus.

-Often wrestles for charity.

-Very good at gin rummy.



Cons:

-Not technically a person

-Difficult to find a uniform that fits him.

-Claws tend to puncture football.

-Difficult to understand cadence.

-Often raids team refrigerator.

-Has pulled a "Najeh Davenport" and pooped in a laundry hamper before

-Would rather play football in Chicago

-Will miss two games each year to salmon hunt in Alaska

-Probably isn't alive since the average black bear's life span is around 30 years and Gentle Ben aired in the late 60's



So there you go, a comparison of two possible quarterback situations in Pittsburgh. Big Ben will most likely retain his job, but only due to the fact that Gentle Ben is currently not alive.

Roethlisberger will hopefully attempt to rehabilitate his image, but the stain he's left on the carefully built Rooney family image is substantial and I wouldn't be surprised if fans would like to see him replaced by another species.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.

I don't really like the NBA. Sure, I root for my hometown Dallas Mavericks (please refrain from kicking a man while he's down), but there just aren't really any surprises. It's hard to have real drama when the teams at the top of the mountain change about as often as Justices of the Supreme Court.

For the past decade, rooting for your team to win against the Lakers and Spurs was like rooting for a challenger in a third world country election: People said there was a chance, but in reality, the thing was already lost. The Lakers were in Finals five times, the Spurs were in the finals four times and the the teams have eight titles between them.

That's great if you're a Lakers or Spurs fan (of which more people seem to be claiming every day). But for Kings, Pacers, 76ers, Jazz, Nuggets, Timberwolves, Nets, Suns and yes, Maverick fans, the past decade was an exercise in frustration.

This year, however, seemed to be different. Sort of.

The Eastern Conference is as unbalanced as ever with Cleveland and Orlando (with maybe a case for Atlanta or Boston) being light years ahead of anyone else in the conference.

The West, however, seemed to be a neck-and-neck race to the finish line. Only a few games separated the top of the conference from the last seeded playoff team. Every playoff team could be dangerous from the defending champ Lakers to the young up and coming Oklahoma City Thunder. Perhaps this year would really be wide open.

I was into it in the first round. Would the Lakers get upset? Would the Nuggets right the ship in time to advance? How would Portland perform without Brandon Roy? It was exciting.

Then everything fell apart. And now we get to look at the distinct possibility of the the Western Conference Finals being between the Lakers and Spurs ... again.

Oh, I know the Suns and Jazz are still there, but the Jazz have been destroyed by injuries and it seems only a matter of time before the Lakers dispose of them. The Suns are on a roll, but we've seen that before. Then they run into the Spurs and get shut down and frustrated. Even of the Suns somehow pull it out against the Spurs, they have the nemesis Lakers to get past and that doesn't happen in the playoffs.

I wanted to give the NBA a chance this year because it looked so exciting with all sorts of possibilities. But now I see the future and it looks way too much like the past.

I've had enough of the NBA and it's Groundhog Day theme. Call me when March Madness returns. Then I'll be interested.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.