SportsPants

This just in: Tiger Woods is sorry for what he did, but would like his privacy. What a scoop!

I've never seen a pre-game show for a press conference, but today every sports station around had a running discussion on what Tiger might say at 11 a.m. EST today. This was probably the biggest non-sports related television event since the O.J. trial. It was like we were going to break amazing new ground.

We didn't. Tiger read from a prepared statement, was never caught off guard, and rarely said anything we didn't already know.

Don't get me wrong, Tiger nailed his statement just like he nails a golf ball (or nails mistresses for those of you snarky types out there). He managed to make himself sound like he was defending his wife and family from those awful media types while still accepting responsibility for his actions. Predictably, he discussed how he let his family down and didn't adhere to his values, but wanted privacy to cope.

Really the only thing we learned was that Tiger's wife supposedly didn't attack him the night of his car accident and that he's going to embrace Buddhism again (much to Fox News' chagrin since apparently only Christians can use religion to better themselves).

And that's that. No groundbreaking information, no concrete plans aside from another Tiger stint in sexy rehab. Just an athlete who is sorry and wants privacy for his family. As usual though, Tiger put up a good show.

Read more of Brad Seal at the original "SportsPants" blog.