Big Papi Is A Big Baby

  • Thursday, April 8, 2010 1:28 AM
  • Written By: Steve Silver

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In what could very well be my first and last Major League Baseball blog of the year, I want to use it to publicly tell David Ortiz to shut up.

There are many reasons to treat the beginning of the MLB season with as much enthusiasm as a wet burp – excruciatingly long games, an even longer 162-game season and a salary cap hierarchy that eliminates all parity in the league.

But chief among my reasons for not liking pro baseball, beside the fact that the Pittsburgh Pirates haven’t had a winning season since I was in diapers, are whining prima donnas such as David Ortiz.

In case you missed it, Big Papi did some big pouting Tuesday night after starting the season 0-for-7.

Ortiz launched into an expletive-filled tirade when reporters pressed him on his hit-less start by reminding him of his poor performance at the beginning of the 2009 season.

Some of Ortiz’s gems are as follows:

"Good," he said, turning to face the reporters encircling him. "You guys wait till [expletive] happens, then you can talk [expletive]. Two [expletive] games, and already you [expletives] are going crazy ... "What's up with that, man? [Expletive]. [Expletive] 160 games left. That's a [expletive]. One of you [expletives] got to go ahead and hit for me."

Now, to be fair, the season just started and for all we know Ortiz could finish the year .450 with 50 home runs.

After posting a .185 batting average with only one homer in April and May last season, however, the reporters in Boston had every right to question Ortiz on his poor start as it appears to be a steady downward trend with a 34-year-old well past his prime.

The man has one job – hit the ball. Seriously. He doesn’t have to throw or catch or even really run. Just hit the ball and get $13 million. I highly doubt he can even run a mile without collapsing, but that’s not what earns him the paycheck, so I’ll let that slide.

Really, the pure economics of his situation is enough to make anyone queasy.

Last season Ortiz pocketed $86,667 dollars per game, which is roughly $24,000 per at-bat. His whopping .238 batting average means Ortiz earned more than $100,000 per hit.

Think about that. This guy makes more per hit than most Americans see in a year and he is crying about a question from a reporter? You have to be kidding me.

I really have no sympathy for this guy.

If Ortiz doesn’t want the intense public scrutiny of being a professional baseball player, then go find another job.

Or if the burden of being an international superstar is too much to handle then come play for the Pirates and make a few hundred thousand dollars a year. After a few games nobody in town will care about you. Trust me.

To end on an uplifting note, Ortiz notched his first hit Wednesday night against the Yankees.

The Big Dud is now 1-for-11. Better get the tissues ready in Boston, this could be a long season.

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