Curse Broken By Stromuhr

  • Sunday, June 6, 2010 10:23 PM
  • Written By: Mike Rosolio

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The refurbished Browns are one of the league’s most docile doormats. The Indians are the second worst team in baseball. The most physically gifted basketball player of all time is a homegrown hero and seems all but destined to leave the Cavs to give New Yorkers a taste of what it feels like to be a winner.

But rest easy, Cleveland, all is not lost.

Your new favorite daughter has brought home a championship to Northern Ohio! Anamika Veeramani of Cleveland took down the Scripps National Spelling Bee with a killer maneuvering of the word STROMUHR, which is a rheometer designed to measure the amount and speed of blood flow through an artery and is not recognized by spell check. There, you got your taste, Cleveland, so it was all worth it. Let’s take a walk back through the great moments in Cleveland sports history:

-- Jim Brown terrorizes the NFL pre-merger, retires in his prime to help Lee Marvin kill Nazis.

-- Browns get it back together just in time for John Elway to come into the league (see The Drive and The Fumble).

-- The Indians’ ineptitude is lampooned in a film where they finally win a pennant, only to lose to the Yankees.

-- Michael Jordan ruins the Cavs with ‘The Shot;’ also took the over.

-- The Indians’ continuous ineptitude is once again lampooned in a film where they finally make a World Series. They probably didn’t win, since the next installment featured most of their lineup in Double-A ball.

-- The 1994 strike interrupts what was at the very least a wild card year for the loaded Indians.

-- The Browns leave town in 1995. Five years later, Art Modell hoists the Lombardi trophy.

-- The 1995 Indians lose the World Series in six games to the Atlanta Braves, who mastered the art of losing World Series in the mid-90s. The 1997 Indians lose to the Florida Marlins after leading in the ninth inning of Game 7.

-- Tim Couch, first overall pick.

-- Manny Ramirez wins two titles in Boston. Albert Belle has his Halloween Adventure.

-- CC Sabathia. Cliff Lee.

-- LeBron James is on the brink of going to New York.

-- Anamika Veeramani.

It was a long way back to glory, Cleveland. I hope you’ve enjoyed it.





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clevrocks
Really - 1997 - you miss the facts that badly to say the Atlanta Braves??
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Pedro
F U
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Fan1
Brilliant!!
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FACEMONKEY429
I'VE LIVED IN CLEVELAND FOR 10 YRS & THIS CITY HAS THREE SPORTS TEAMS THAT HAVE NEVER GOTTEN CLOSE TO A CHAMPIONSHIP, HOW CAN YOU ROOT FOR A TEAM THAT HAD A " SHOE " IN TO THE FINALS & THE STAR PLAYER DECIDES TO THROW IN THE TOWEL WHEN THE OTHER TEAM GAINED A LARGE MARGIN. LEBRON JAMES "THREW " THE LAST GAME THE CAVALIERS PLAYED AGAINST THE CELTICS.... HOW THE %$#@ YOU STOP SHOOTING THREE POINTERS IN THE THIRD QUARTER OF A GAME THAT COULD HAVE PROPELLED THE CAVALIERS TO GREATNESS & THE NBA FINALS. NOW YOU HAVE LEBRON '' PLAYING " THE WAITING GAME WITH TEAMS THAT DON'T HAVE A SALARY CAP TO PLAY WITH TO ACQUIRE LEBRON OR MEET HIS ASKING PRICE, NEW YORK JUST GOT RID OF THAT PAIN IN THE @!#$ STOUDEMIRE & THE NETS HAVE THE LEAGUES WORST RECORD WHEN IT COMES TO WINNING GAMES. LEBRON GOT MIKE BROWN FIRED, DELONTE WEST & MO WILLIAMS TRADED & DANNY FERRY BAILED OUT OF THE SINKING SHIP, ONCE LEBRON GAVE UP ON THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS.... THE TEAM WENT TO @!#$. I HOPE HE DOES GO TO THE NEW YORK KNICKS BECAUSE HE COULDN'T GO TO L.A. BECAUSE KOBE DOESN'T LIKE TO SHARE THE SPOTLIGHT.... ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE COMPARING HIM TO THE SECOND COMING OF MICHAEL JORDAN, I HOPE LEBRON GOES TO A TEAM THAT'S SO FAR DOWN IN THE RANKINGS THAT HE'LL WISH THAT HE STILL PLAYED FOR CLEVELAND. LEBRON JAMES IS A BUM & HE'LL ALWAYS BE A BUM AS LONG AS HE KEEPS THAT ATTITUDE THAT EVERYBODY WANTS HIM ON THEIR TEAM.
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Mikey
The cavs are on the brink of something great, with or without leBron...

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