Wasif's World

As I gorged myself with autumn gourds and gauged my eyes out at the egregious World Series memorabilia adorning my brother-in-law at the Thanksgiving dinner table (I mean, is it really necessary to hang NY Yankees tree ornaments from your glasses?), I focused not on the irreputable, impolite, improper mouth with legs that sat at the head of the table, but rather on that which I am most thankful in the world of sports.

I am most thankful for:

Second chances, without which Michael Vick would not be able to be irrelevant in football again.

Baseball's arbitration rules, which allow players that perform well-below their previous averages to still merit a pay raise.

Teams that award long-term, guaranteed deals to coaches and then fire them with six years left.

O.J. Simpson, for finding a nice white supremicist cellmate with whom he can have some stimulating conversations.

Sammy Sosa, for keeping himself the topic of conversation.

Rush Limbaugh, for giving me a good laugh in thinking he was going to be allowed to buy a team with a majority of African Americans.

Pacman Jones, for stimulating the economy with lots and lots of singles.

The potential for outdoor playoff baseball in Minnesota!

The New York Knicks, for putting their future on hold for LeBron, who probably won't sign with them.

Tim McCarver, for frequently guessing the upcoming pitch wrong, but continuing to try.

Athletes who forget that Tweets can be viewed by the public.

Serena Williams, for invoking the spirit of McEnroe.

The "Wildcat" offense in Miami, for scaring opponents enough to almost beat them.

The NCAA tournement, for adding a 65th team that will be eliminated the night after the play-in game.

Bud Selig, for allowing baseball players a day of rest between playoff games. (All that sitting in the dugout had been wearing them out.)

Michael Jordan, for being such a humble superstar.

Yankees Fans -- love 'em or hate 'em, but more often than not, hate 'em.

Peyton Manning, for his commercials. (I can't stay mad at you, Peyton.)

The "experts," for maintaining sub-.500 prognostication records.

Tom Cable, for thinking he's the luckiest man on earth to have avoided all charges levied against him, then remembering he's on the Raiders.

Bill Belichick, for always keeping it interesting.

Tony Romo, for consistently fooling his supporters into believing that he's actually not going to choke when it counts most.

And, most of all, I'm thankful for the wealth of entertainment that goes on in the world of sports. Enjoy the holiday season, everybody!