Wasif's World

The NBA Playoffs begin Saturday night and the big question is whether two of the pre-season favorites-cum-faders have been cruising into May before hitting their strides by simply “flicking the switch.”

For those of you unfamiliar with this “switch,” it’s quite a technological marvel. If you don’t have one, I’d recommend you look into acquiring one. In fact, I’ve heard Apple is working on mass producing an economical version for the consumer – the iSwitch.

In the realm of basketball, the switch heals injuries, it sharpens shooting eyes, it tightens defenses. The switch knocks away in-bounds passes, it fills passing lanes, it executes pick-and-rolls with precision. The switch piles on points, it fills highlight reels, it rises above the rim. In summation, it takes no prisoners.

But some teams don’t have a switch. It’s only the good teams teams that have won before, that have a switch. They know what it takes to win, unlike those other teams like the 1995 Houston Rockets or the 1999 San Antonio Spurs.

In fact, along with a championship trophy, these victors are given a switch by the league. It’s one of those hush-hush jobs, though, as the league owns only a thin supply of switches and they don’t want irrelevant teams like the Clippers begging for one. (That’s why the league frequently engineers the Lakers winning, because they already have a switch.)

The Lakers are one of the teams people are questioning. This batch of superstars can play in regular-season, totally over-rated, sluggish mode and then they can shift to bulldozer, juggernaut, high-flying legends mode. The transition from one to the other is seamless, usually done with the flick of a finger.

But wait, haven’t the Lakers been sucking it up lately because they’ve been banged up, uninspired and out-of-sync?

No, of course not, silly person!

So the fact that Kobe has way too many miles on his treads and Andrew Bynum can’t keep from getting hurt and Ron Artest isn’t the same defender he once was has nothing to do with their mediocre play the last few months?

Nope, they just haven’t flicked the switch yet. They’re waiting for the playoffs.

The Celtics are another team that invokes mention of the device. They’ve had their own mechanism before any other team did. The ol’ Auerbach Switch is a bit clunky, but still works. (They’ve since upgraded to Auerbach 10.0.)

The first time it was used was in 1969. The last hurrah for Bill Russell found a team with a 48-34 record winning the championship. Why? Need we go over this again?

It is for this reason that Boston fans needn’t worry as Kevin Garnett’s knee will make a full recovery and we’ll once again see the 2007-08 Defensive Player of the Year dominating opponents, but only once the playoffs start.

The Celtics figured out how to win together early in the season. They started 20-4. Once they got the handle on that, they put it on cruise control. Why waste your energy against the Knicks and the Wizards of the world? And now that it’s playoff time, I’m sure they’ll just revert back to November form. (Back when they could win at home.)

The same goes for the Lakers who still finished atop the Western Conference, though went 15-12 over the last two months of the season. They didn’t need to show off any more. That’s just bad sportsmanship, right? All those shots they missed to lose games were all part of the beauty of the switch. When it’s flicked, those shots go in.

So what does this switch run on? Is it gas-powered? If they’re like the Heat, who have been on a tear lately, they may run out of gas come the second round. Or perhaps it’s run by solar paneling installed under Sasha Vujacic's hair. That’s part of the mystery of it.

I, too, have a switch. I’m just waiting for that moment to flick it so that I may get Jessica Biel to go on a date with me. Just laying low for now, that’s what I’m doing. I haven’t been working my “A” game yet. Yes sir, but when I’m ready, I’m gonna flick that switch and watch out! Buddy Love is only one flick away.

Although it’s quite possible it might not work. I think I was supposed to store it horizontally in a cool, dark place like a bottle of wine. I think it’s because of some chemical that calibrates the magnetic doo-hickeys in the thing. I’m sure the iSwitch has taken the necessary steps to rectify such glitches.

Nevertheless, I know we’ll see the Celtics and Lakers in the NBA Finals again this year ... assuming they took greater care in storing their switches than I did.