Wasif's World

So I went to the famous Comic Convention, a.k.a. "Comic Con," this past weekend in Sahn Di-ahgo (German for “a whale’s vagina”). It’s not really my scene as I don’t know a thing about comics, but it’s become so much more. Major Hollywood studios are there to promote their upcoming major works.

And the fans eat this up. They get dressed up, memorize Vulcan handshakes and exchange fashion tips (black t-shirts and jeans work for any occasion evidently). I felt out of place, simply naked without my Green Lantern costume. I did like being considered among the coolest people there though, by default.

But the reason I’m bringing this up is ... I got to meet Megan Fox. She was there promoting the upcoming “Jonah Hex” flick from Warner Brothers studios. Sitting next to Josh Brolin, she was signing autographs at a table for the uninteresting masses. Bored, her gaze began to wander, past the Klingon emperor standing in front of me and they locked on yours truly.

She pursed her pouty lips and gave me a little smile. With a twinkle in her eyes, she beckoned me with her lithe index finger. I quickly turned to ask the Stormtrooper next to me for a Certs, but thought better of it, and just began to push through the line amid all sorts of dejected stares.

At the table, she whispered in my ear, “I want you to take me home with you.”

“Well, that is a tempting offer, Megan, but I gotta mull it over a little. How long do I have?”

“The weekend ends tomorrow. And when it does, I become unavailable.” (I don’t know how at this point, but she was now sitting in my lap.)

“Hey, Brolin, fetch me a lemonade from the concourse,” I said, handing the next action hero my thermos.

Then I turned back to Megan and said, “Well, baby, I’m definitely intrigued, but I got a couple of 21-year-olds here that are pretty hot stuff."

I indicated the Nickelodeon pavilion and continued: "See that Green Romulan over there talking to Spongebob Squarepants? She won 'Hottest Intergalactic Chick' at the recent Star Trek regional pre-Convention. She's a big-time talent ..."

Then past her, a girl stood engrossed in some graphic novel. "And that girl in the Pad Thai costume, or whoever Natalie Portman was in Star Wars," I said. "She’s not really anything now, but once her scoliosis rights itself, she’s going to be quite a catch. That's what I got going on right now."

Megan’s heartbeat fluttered a little bit. She was heavier than I would have imagined and my left leg was going numb. “If you take me now, you’ll have me for the next year and a half.”

“Wow, year and a half?”

“Yes, I’m that type of girl. I won’t hit the open market again for that long. I’ll be all yours.” (She said the last two words so breathlessly into my ear that I spilled the lemonade Brolin had brought me.)

So now I’ve got this interesting dilemma -- I can have the hottest girl on the planet or a couple of my up-and-comers who I’ve been grooming for some time and may or may not turn out to be hot. But if they do, I’ll have two of them and be able to put together a pretty good harem in 2011.

Megan Fox now. A couple of girls with some upside later. And I had to choose by the end of the weekend.

What would you do, Philadelphia? Looks like you’re leaning to the Romulan and the Queen.