Wasif's World

As I watched another Baltimore Raven get whistled for a penalty simply for looking at an opposing player wrong, and longing for the days of actual football instead of the Jim Irsay “no touchies” rules, I pondered where my allegiances lay.

My New England Patriots are out, much to the delight of fans of teams who haven’t won in a while ... or ever, which is understandable as you take the position of Let Someone Else Have a Chance. But there are other positions one can take this dilemma.

In Brotherhood Always

One person ventured to guess that I’d be rooting for the J-E-T-S because they were fellow AFC East gladiators. Yeah, I’ve heard that logic before, but I’m not a tree-hugging hippy. If the Jets were banished from the division or the league, I wouldn’t feel too bad.

You get the sense that the only reason they spell out their name is for practice like a child (or Kelly Bundy, perhaps) spells out C-A-T. And do their fans deserve any sort of success? I mean, they boo players at the draft; guys who haven’t even played one down for them yet. Oooof!

So no on the Jets.

The Enemy of Your Enemy is Your Friend

It’s a good policy during wartime and every week in the NFL is wartime. However, it’s vague in football since your team has so many enemies.

If the Colts are playing the Jets, then shouldn’t I root for the Colts? First off, they’re more of a threat to New England’s standing than are any AFC East rivals. Plus, they’ve played each other once a year consistently now for a long time, almost like an honorary Grudge Bowl.

And please refer back to the first paragraph where I’m still upset the rules were changed at the endorsement of Jim Irsay and ratified by other owners to prevent actual touching in this men’s professional league. A blog for another time would be to analyze the success of the Colts offense minus all the pass interference penalties of which they are the beneficiaries. How much of their net yardage comes from these, once rare, now abundant, calls?

No on the Colts. I hope that game ends in a double forfeit.

Root for the Team that Beat Your Team

I was obviously rooting for the Ravens, right? I mean, Boston is the team that invented the “Beat LA” chant when it became clear the 76ers were going to be the ones to take on the Lakers in the championship series during the early 80s. It’s a way to say, “Hey, at least we lost to the eventual champs.”

But the odds were against these Ravens because they actually hit people and, as we now know, hitters never win, and winners never hit in this NFL. (The rule says nothing about puns, however.)

No, I didn’t root for the Ravens ... and I’m glad.

They’ve Earned It

The San Diego SuperChargers have earned it, haven’t they? They’ve come close the past couple of years and been snake-bitten each time. But there’s probably a reason for that. Norv Turner is their coach. It’s hard to get behind a team with Norv Turner as the coach. I believe that Jerry Rice once referred to Turner as the worst coach he’s ever had. That’s from the greatest receiver in NFL history, so I’m going to side with him.

But don’t let that stop you from offering the man a three-year contract extension, San Diego. That’s just good business.

No thanks on the Chargers. I don’t want to be a two-time loser this postseason after my Patriots already lost.

No Connection to My Team

Arizona was a good choice, if only because there’s no connection between that team and mine. Plus, I don’t know any Arizona fans so there would be no one to rub it in should they win. That’s always a selling point.

Come to think of it, are there any Arizona fans? Hmm ... I could be the only one.

Nah, I couldn’t handle the pressure. No, on Arizona.

Individual Dislikes

I dislike Brett Favre. There, I said it. I may be the only one who thinks he’s overrated. Plus, I still hold it against him for causing the Pats to lose the Super Bowl. I’m not talking about Super Bowl XXXI either, as the Packers deserved that win, but the Big Dance in 2008.

In the NFC Championship game against the Giants, this “game-changer” decides to hurt the ball into the air, to no one in particular, in a driving wind during overtime. They should’ve revoked his Hall-of-Fame status right there. The interception allowed the Giants, a team that could beat the Pats to do just that. Thanks, Brett Fav-rah.

No, on the Vikings.

Team Dislikes

There’s a saying in football that’s as old as the hills and it goes like this – “I hate the Cowboys.”

So, no on the Cowboys.

Pity

How ‘bout ‘dem Saints? Anyone rooting against these people has no soul. Their city was washed away for crissakes! Hurricanes almost ripped apart their stadium. Their fans were forced to become refugees. They deserve something good.

Pity is always a driving factor in building allegiances. Schadenfreude is usually employed to choose who to root against. It’s the practice of wishing something bad happens to a team rather than something good. You might know it better by its street name – being a Hater.

Well, the Saints provide you with reason to root for a team rather than against. They’re this year’s feel-good bunch.

At the risk of alienating this fan base with my run of recent fan luck, this is a team I can get behind ... or not. I really am just watching as a time-waster before the upcoming draft.