Wasif's World

So it’s back to the future for the World Series as we revisit 1950 for another clash between the Phillies of Philadelphia and the Yankees of New Yank, er, York.

Though obviously, there have been many technological advances to the televising of games since America’s Baby Boom. Even recently, Fox has continued to innovate its coverage. (Now, if only it can figure out a device that keeps viewers on the East Coast awake during games that last more than three hours.)

During the ALCS, the sports broadcast really perfected our ability to question balls and strikes by showing the pitch location. And they added a radar gun that reads the speed of the pitch when it leaves the pitcher’s hand as well as when it crosses the plate.

This week will be no different. Fox will add a feature that allows you to mute Tim McCarver. Additionally, statements like “he’s a ballplayer” and “you’ve got to play the game” will be converted into useful, intelligent commentary before it goes out over the air. They are also unveiling a new device that measures the amount of spit Mariano Rivera puts on the baseball.

Anyway, I’ve studied the teams and will present to you now my lockdown, guarantee, take-it-home-with-you “Keys to Victory.” The team that adheres to more of these goals will be hoisting the trophy during the victory riot its city will have in two weeks. On to the “Keys to Victory:”

Philadelphia
Play to your Strengths -- Brad Lidge has to go heavy on his fastball. He threw a lot of suckballs during the season and those didn’t seem to work for him.

Count Your Pitches-- Don’t leave Pedro in with a three-run lead in the eighth even if he says he still has something in the tank. Trust me on this. Charlie Manuel must show that, although he carries himself at a slower pace, he’s no Grady Little.

Duh -- Score more runs than the Yankees do.

Utilize the Fans -- One of your great advantages is the fan base. They’re out of their minds. I would allow the fans onto the field. Maybe place some seats against the wall in right field. After two beers, they’ll tackle any Yankee that gets near them. They’ll probably tackle the Philly Phanatic too, come to think of it.

Channel Doc Brown -- Get a time machine, go back to 2008, kidnap Cole Hamels, and bring him to the present to pitch in the series. Of course, you’ll have to hold the current Cole Hamels captive in a closet somewhere so he doesn’t cross paths with 2008 Cole Hamels. If the two did come in contact with one another, the results would be cataclysmic, possibly causing such a shift in the space-time continuum that the balance of power is thrown off to the point where the Royals might become the most-winningest franchise in sports history.

New York
Keep CC at Home -- Don’t pitch Sabathia on the road. If he gets so much as a whiff of a Philly cheesesteak, all his diligence and training during the year could be for naught.

Attack the Mound -- They might not like to admit it, but the Angels gave the Yankees more trouble than they expected. The Yankees tallied 432 mound conferences in the six games as they tried to formulate a better plan. The Phillies are tougher than the Angels. New York will need to top 500 mound conferences if they expect to outlast Philadelphia. Vegas has the over/under on mound conferences at 460. I say, take the over.

Close it out early -- Pitch Rivera anytime after the fifth inning. His postseason ERA is under 2.00. ERA. is calculated per nine innings. So if you are a Sabermetric guy and manage by the numbers, you’ll realize he’ll only give up one run at most if he pitches half a game. With the weather and ludicrous scheduling, he should have two to three days off between appearances anyway.

Juice it! -- Don’t stop taking those steroids. Yeah, yeah, A-Rod “only took them with the Rangers,” and Pettitte did them “just that one time” with his friend Roger Clemens. And I’m the ghost of Roberto Clemente. Vaya los Pirates!

Recharge the Batteries -- Keep Molina as Burnett’s catcher. The loss in offense will hardly be noticeable due to the loss in defense.

Look for both Philadelphia and New York to follow these blueprints as much as they can. It will come down to who executes better. And considering the lineups, matchups, any potential dustups and the teams’ makeups, I predict that the Philadelphia Phillies will repeat as champions, winning this thing in six games ... unless, of course, they don’t.