Wasif's World

Now is the time to predict who will win the Super Bowl. After weighing all the facts, poring over statistics, summoning forth the ghosts of Super Bowls past, listening to all the "experts" spout jibber jabber, and consulting with my Magic-8 ball, I’m finally ready to use all this information to corrupt whichever case I want to build.

Let’s first look at the case for the Colts. They will win. It’s obvious that they will win. First of all, they have Peyton Manning. He has never lost a Super Bowl.

Secondly, the team labeled the favorite by Vegas has won every year for the past one year.

Thirdly, these 2009 Colts have won every game that they’ve cared to win. They have the better defense and they don’t give teams a chance to capitalize on their mistakes ... cuz they don’t make enough.

Fourthly, they’ve proven to be the road block that precipitates an undeserving team’s demise. The Jets should not have beaten the Bengals (thank you, Shayne Graham). The Jets should not have beaten the San Diego Chargers (thank you, Nate Kaeding ... and somehow Norv Turner, because he always finds a way to lose). The Colts aren’t going to let teams that won because of bad play on the part of their opponents during the previous games beat them. Do you hear that, New Orleans?

Fifthly, the Colts put 30 points on the board against the No. 1 defense in the league. And then their defense only gave up 17 points to the high-flying New York Jets. (Wait ... 17 points to the Jets? Really? Okay, so maybe that’s a plus for the Saints.)

Sixthly, they’re playing in Miami again, site of their most recent Super Bowl victory, so they’re used the whole vibe there.

Seventhly, first-time teams don’t win Super Bowls (except the Rams ... and the Ravens ... er, and the Bucs.)

Eightly, Archie Manning didn’t raise his boys to lose ... save for Cooper.

Ninthly, Peyton is driven to win. (Unlike those other mere punch-the-clock signal callers who don’t care as long as the check clears.)

And tenthly, the Colts can come from behind.

Ten very sharp points giving definitive cause to bet the farm on Indianapolis (though the farm is usually located just outside Indy's city limits). So that's what Vegas would have you believe.

There's also very keen evidence to reveal a clear Saints victory. It makes it very obvious that they'll win. How shall they beat thee; let us count the ways:

One) The Saints are a bend-but-don’t-break defense. They gave up almost 500 yards of offense to the Minnesota Vikings, but caused enough turnovers to win the game. All part of their plan.

Dos) The last team that Brett Favre handed a Championship Game to went on to win the Super Bowl.

C) The Colts can’t be expected to succeed more than Brett Favre’s potent passing performance. So the Saints have handled the worst.

IV) Dwight Freeney is hurt. A speed rusher with a bum ankle? Advantage: Saints.

Next, the Saints are also a comeback team.

After that, the Saints are playing for their city. (Okay, that’s a dumb one.)

To be followed by, Reggie Bush plays well every other game. He took the Minnesota game off so LOOK OUT next week!

Thus pointing out, Sean Payton is a master motivator. At least he’s a master booker for motivational speakers like Ronnie Lott. Wonder who he’ll book this week. I hear Tony Dungy's available.

Leading us to learn that, the last team to win "every game that they've cared to win" lost the Super Bowl.

Thus elucidating us upon the fact, the Saints have a better fan base than Indiananoplace.

Which is less revealing than, the underdog as per Vegas has won 50 percent of the time over the last two years.

Describing the penultimate note, the Saints possess a more balanced attack.

And finally, the Saints and their passing attack represent a threat to the rules that the Colts’ Jim Irsay helped put into law; you know, those that make touching illegal. What's a Super Bowl without a hint of ironic comeuppance?

So looking at all that we have in front of us, I’ve got the definitive LOCK of the century, made of pure carbonite, baby! With the majority of bettors hopping on the SS Manning, I’m gonna go marchin' in with the Saints and predict a surprising 35-27 victory, providing a Category 5 party to kickoff Mardi Gras. It’s this kind of against-the-grain thinking that allowed me, while others were losing tens of thousands in the recent bottoming out of the market, to actually lose hundreds of thousands in the recent bottoming out of the market.

But if the Saints win either 3-2 or win by over 90 points, I’ll make my money back. Fingers crossed.

Enjoy the game everyone!

Let’s take a step back to look at the NFL in this the lead-up to the Super Bowl.

In a league where job security is as improbable as Heidi Montag making it a week without plastic surgery, Tom Cable and Norv Turner both will return next year to once again lead their respective teams to early offseasons. Congratulations, fellas!

Now, I’d like to address one of my fans, someone calling himself “swyner,” who wrote to me after my previous piece, “Your an idiot … This guy Brett is a superstar and the Vikings are the best team in football.”

Don’t you hate it when the “best team in football” gets beaten by those lesser teams? And I appreciate your observation, “swyner,” but you didn’t tell me what, of mine, is an idiot. You left out a few words. Did you mean to say “Your financial advisor is an idiot?” “Your parolee neighbor is an idiot?” Using the possessive “your” necessitates a conclusion to the noun phrase you’re attempting. Hey, I’m always here to help my readers.

Now on to pressing matters – Did anyone think Brett was not going to throw the ball to the other team? It’s what he does. Strong arm, tough player, not a great decision-maker. When you see the sun come up day after day, you kinda come to expect it.

That said, we should look at this objectively; Brett Favre is a Hall-of-Famer. He makes plays other quarterbacks not in the Hall of Fame can’t or couldn't. (He also makes plays quarterbacks who are in the Hall of Fame didn’t or wouldn’t. And that’s why we’re even having this discussion.) He’s still one of the greatest of all-time and the prefix “Hall-of-Famer” will never be withdrawn from his name.

As much as I joked about revoking his status due to blowing Super Bowl berths (now twice), he doesn’t deserve that ... though he has exactly as many rings as Brad Johnson does.

On the flip side, I heard someone refer to Philip Rivers as a “future Hall-of-Famer” the other day. Now that commentator should have his credentials rescinded.

Brett told Chris Mortensen, by the way, that it’s “highly unlikely” he’ll return next season. Uh, yeah, is there anyone buying that one?
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We’re going to be deluged by “experts” making their game predictions this next week. Half (approximately) will say one thing, the other half will say another. So either way, a large percentage of them will be wrong. How about we stop calling them experts please?

If you went to a doctor, an expert in the medical profession, and he said you had a hernia; then you got a second opinion from a doctor that said you actually only had hiccups, you probably wouldn’t consider one of them an “expert” anymore.
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Around this time, people take a moment to reflect upon recent Super Bowls and that will inevitably bring up the belief by some that Bill Belichick’s teams didn’t deserve to win because he “cheated.”

I love how the legend of this grows every day. It’s to the point where the story is that Belichick himself was on the sidelines of the other team’s closed practice with a camera. I think he even asked Andy Reid to have the players run through a play a second time just so he could shoot it from another angle.

The man is a genius, after all. He was so smart that he showed his team all these video tapes (that he took himself) and told his team not to beat the opponents too badly so no one would suspect their illegalities.

And that’s why Brady and his Bunch won each contest by only three points, including two with last-minute field goals. That was all part of Belichick’s master stroke. With the footage he had, including one shot through the keyhole of Donovan McNabb’s hotel room as the quarterback admired himself in the mirror, the Patriots could’ve won by 80 points easily, but that would’ve tipped people off to foul play.
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I really don’t care who wins this year as I have no fish in the tank, so to speak, no spice in the soup, no gun in the locker room, no ... okay, you get the point. I just want to see a good, clean game. Last year’s contest, though exciting, was still marred by controversy.

After driving the length of the field, the Steelers left the Cardinals with very little time for Kurt Warner to do a little magic of his own. But that should not have meant the game was over.

Holmes, after making a great catch in the corner of the end zone, used the ball as a prop in an effort to celebrate. Excessive celebration, 15-yard penalty. (Another one of the rules that probably shouldn’t be a rule, but it is.) However, it wasn’t called. Whoa! Why make a rule if you’re not going to enforce it? That’s like saying, “Intentional grounding, but y’know what? We’re just gonna let it slide this once. First down and 10!”

It would’ve pushed the kickoff back 15 yards, presumably giving the Cardinals better field position with which to work.

Then, after a few plays, Warner fumbled the ball in what was clearly not a fumble. But since there was less than two minutes remaining, it was an automatic booth review. (I understood why they called it a fumble, so there would be something to review. If it wasn’t called a fumble, then there’d be nothing to review.) So let’s just go up to the --- huzzah what now? The Steelers are being given the ball?!

What part of automatic booth review do you not understand? Did the booth guys go home? Were they relieving themselves after four quarters of large Miller Genuine Drafts? Or were they just Steelers fans?

I’m not saying the Cardinals would’ve won, but with Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald on their team, there’s no better finish I would’ve liked to see. And I’m still waiting for the league to pick up with that game. Perhaps they could play that last minute as the pre-game next Sunday.
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My early prediction for Super Bowl XLIV, before I've pored through the myriad statistics and listened to the experts, is for either the Saints or the Colts to prevail. Though I wouldn’t put it past Belichick to find a way to somehow steal the crown from both teams. He is, after all, a diabolical supergenius who must have something up his sleeve.

As I watched another Baltimore Raven get whistled for a penalty simply for looking at an opposing player wrong, and longing for the days of actual football instead of the Jim Irsay “no touchies” rules, I pondered where my allegiances lay.

My New England Patriots are out, much to the delight of fans of teams who haven’t won in a while ... or ever, which is understandable as you take the position of Let Someone Else Have a Chance. But there are other positions one can take this dilemma.

In Brotherhood Always

One person ventured to guess that I’d be rooting for the J-E-T-S because they were fellow AFC East gladiators. Yeah, I’ve heard that logic before, but I’m not a tree-hugging hippy. If the Jets were banished from the division or the league, I wouldn’t feel too bad.

You get the sense that the only reason they spell out their name is for practice like a child (or Kelly Bundy, perhaps) spells out C-A-T. And do their fans deserve any sort of success? I mean, they boo players at the draft; guys who haven’t even played one down for them yet. Oooof!

So no on the Jets.

The Enemy of Your Enemy is Your Friend

It’s a good policy during wartime and every week in the NFL is wartime. However, it’s vague in football since your team has so many enemies.

If the Colts are playing the Jets, then shouldn’t I root for the Colts? First off, they’re more of a threat to New England’s standing than are any AFC East rivals. Plus, they’ve played each other once a year consistently now for a long time, almost like an honorary Grudge Bowl.

And please refer back to the first paragraph where I’m still upset the rules were changed at the endorsement of Jim Irsay and ratified by other owners to prevent actual touching in this men’s professional league. A blog for another time would be to analyze the success of the Colts offense minus all the pass interference penalties of which they are the beneficiaries. How much of their net yardage comes from these, once rare, now abundant, calls?

No on the Colts. I hope that game ends in a double forfeit.

Root for the Team that Beat Your Team

I was obviously rooting for the Ravens, right? I mean, Boston is the team that invented the “Beat LA” chant when it became clear the 76ers were going to be the ones to take on the Lakers in the championship series during the early 80s. It’s a way to say, “Hey, at least we lost to the eventual champs.”

But the odds were against these Ravens because they actually hit people and, as we now know, hitters never win, and winners never hit in this NFL. (The rule says nothing about puns, however.)

No, I didn’t root for the Ravens ... and I’m glad.

They’ve Earned It

The San Diego SuperChargers have earned it, haven’t they? They’ve come close the past couple of years and been snake-bitten each time. But there’s probably a reason for that. Norv Turner is their coach. It’s hard to get behind a team with Norv Turner as the coach. I believe that Jerry Rice once referred to Turner as the worst coach he’s ever had. That’s from the greatest receiver in NFL history, so I’m going to side with him.

But don’t let that stop you from offering the man a three-year contract extension, San Diego. That’s just good business.

No thanks on the Chargers. I don’t want to be a two-time loser this postseason after my Patriots already lost.

No Connection to My Team

Arizona was a good choice, if only because there’s no connection between that team and mine. Plus, I don’t know any Arizona fans so there would be no one to rub it in should they win. That’s always a selling point.

Come to think of it, are there any Arizona fans? Hmm ... I could be the only one.

Nah, I couldn’t handle the pressure. No, on Arizona.

Individual Dislikes

I dislike Brett Favre. There, I said it. I may be the only one who thinks he’s overrated. Plus, I still hold it against him for causing the Pats to lose the Super Bowl. I’m not talking about Super Bowl XXXI either, as the Packers deserved that win, but the Big Dance in 2008.

In the NFC Championship game against the Giants, this “game-changer” decides to hurt the ball into the air, to no one in particular, in a driving wind during overtime. They should’ve revoked his Hall-of-Fame status right there. The interception allowed the Giants, a team that could beat the Pats to do just that. Thanks, Brett Fav-rah.

No, on the Vikings.

Team Dislikes

There’s a saying in football that’s as old as the hills and it goes like this – “I hate the Cowboys.”

So, no on the Cowboys.

Pity

How ‘bout ‘dem Saints? Anyone rooting against these people has no soul. Their city was washed away for crissakes! Hurricanes almost ripped apart their stadium. Their fans were forced to become refugees. They deserve something good.

Pity is always a driving factor in building allegiances. Schadenfreude is usually employed to choose who to root against. It’s the practice of wishing something bad happens to a team rather than something good. You might know it better by its street name – being a Hater.

Well, the Saints provide you with reason to root for a team rather than against. They’re this year’s feel-good bunch.

At the risk of alienating this fan base with my run of recent fan luck, this is a team I can get behind ... or not. I really am just watching as a time-waster before the upcoming draft.

It’s the 50th anniversary of the American Football League and for it, the league has been parading out throwback uniforms of its original teams. Just when you thought you’d seen it all, you find colors you thought should never have been made public.

And we have certainly seen a lot in the past 50 years. That includes one stretch of consecutive games won in one season that remains unsurpassed ... unless you include that streak that did surpass it.

Ah, here we go again: The NFL season extends into its winter months, and we start hearing about how no one has equaled the record of the Miami Dolphins 1972 “perfect” season. (You have to put “perfect” in quotes because an asterisk is too discriminatory. And their accomplishment still deserves praise, just with a dose of clarification.)

For you see, their fabric of greatness, of invincibility, has a tear in it. Records were made to be broken and the etiquette of such a process features the “passing of the torch,” so to speak from the holder to the breaker. Like when Roger Maris’ family was on hand as Mark McGwire was about to break their patriarch’s record. (Boy, I bet they wish they had that weekend back.) This is common practice.

But the 1972 Dolphins, once equated with the gold standard of excellence and perfection, are now synonymous with spiteful men uncomplimentary of the talented young upstarts moving into their metaphorical neighborhood, desperately trying to cling to glory, reluctant to acknowledge they’ve become obsolete. Like the father who is reduced to cheating in an effort to continue beating his son in chess once the boy learns the deadly art of en passant.

Yes, what the Dolphins did was impressive. And for many years, it stood untouched. Every year, they would toast themselves when the last undefeated team suffered a loss.

For those of you unfamiliar with their achievements – and that may very well be anyone under 40 – they won 17 games in a row, in one season, without a loss. Seventeen games! Fourteen regular-season games and three in the playoffs. That’s pretty impressive. At least, it was before other teams started doing it. (I am adding the Colts to the list because I’m confident they will become the second team to go 16-0 during the regular season since they’re facing the Jets and Bills to end the season.)

But the goal posts have been moved. The NFL season was shorter then than it is now. And yet, we continue to hear the media make mention of this team that has done what no other team has done, except that what these other teams have done is, in fact, more impressive than what the Dolphins have done.

It’s the equivalent of Paul Hines, organized baseball’s first Triple Crown winner, snubbing Ted Williams because Teddy Ballgame didn’t win the award during the Dead Ball Era. Hines was dominant in 1878, smashing four home runs – Yes, FOUR! – and a whopping 50 RBIs, while batting .358. Now that’s a Triple Crown winner!

And, of course, the 2007 New England Patriots most famously won 16 games in a season, then continued to win another two before finally meeting the loss column. Eighteen games in a row! That's one more than the Dolphins, mind you.

Yet instead of talking about the Pats not winning their 19th game, we should be wondering if the Dolphins could win 18 or 19. We’ll never know because outside of former Fins running back Mercury Morris’ mouth, they don’t have the speed to keep up with this decade's Colts.

Yes, in 1972, they won 17 in a row. And that 17th game was the Super Bowl. The Patriots also, in 2007, won their 17th game in a row. It just wasn’t the Super Bowl. And they continued to win. Seventeen. Eighteen. It wasn’t until No. 19 that they lost. And that’s less impressive than the Dolphins?!

The argument here, by the few supporters of the Dolphins' fading cause, is that the Pats didn’t win the Super Bowl that year. It’s a matter of semantics.

And if that's their point, then I present to you the 1985 Bears won more games overall and demolished anyone in their path, save for the Dolphins in Week 12.

Similarly, the previous year's Niners in 1984 lost only in Week 7. Both of them went on to win the Super Bowl with 18 total wins, one more than the Dolphins. They were not perfect, but they won more games than did Miami.

The Pats don’t have a ring from their perfect regular-season campaign, but they have three others from less “successful” runs.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have 18 than 17.

The 1972 Dolphins at one point showed dignity and class, as any Don Shula coached team would. They were revered by the media who relished the opportunity to look to them when speaking of perfection. But now they’ve become an inside joke, the punch line on many a media outlet. “We’re going to talk to the ’72 Dolphins, who hold the fifth-longest streak in the NFL for consecutive games won, about what it’s like to be dominant.”

Could the Dolphins have won an 18th and 19th game? Well, as we’ve seen, it’s pretty tough to do, so conventional wisdom would suggest no, but it’s entirely speculative.

And if the Colts lose in the playoffs, would they be labeled worse than the Dolphins after winning more regular-season games in a row than any other team ever and more in the same season than anyone but the Patriots before them?

I am undefeated in my Fantasy Football career. A 1.000 winning percentage. Sure, I’ve played only once, but I’m not bragging about it every minute ... except for here.

It’s time to move on. The Dolphins didn’t lose a game during their 17-game season. Nor did the Patriots. Nor will the Colts. And the Bears and Niners won more games total than the Dolphins.

Does Mercury Morris still want to toast his standing as the fifth-best team of all-time? What’s the drink of choice there? Seagram’s wine cooler? How about a bottle of Charles Shaw wine, a.k.a. “Two Buck Chuck?” Or just swig a bottle of tequila to make the hurt go away. You’ve been surpassed. Be gracious and quit bogarting the torch. Pass the dutchie. The wonder ball goes round and round … It’s time to acknowledge there’s a new gold standard in the league, and it ain’t the gold of the Broncos throwback uniforms. Yeech!