Everything But Poker

While witnessing the Hornets blow out the Clippers about a month ago, I heard the familiar sounds of Clipper fans’ discontent permeating Staples Center and could feel the unspoken influence of one man controlling the event: Bill Simmons. Walking to the arena that night, I passed an ESPN Zone where hundreds of fans stood with dictionary-sized books in hand, waiting for a chance to shake the Sports Guy's hand and get his signature on The Book of Basketball, Simmons' latest tome.

I made sure to document the phenomenon, but soon headed into the arena, only to find that the first quarter was almost over and the rout was already on. Baron Davis and Co. loafed around the floor the same way they did from January through April last spring, Chris Paul darted wherever he wanted and scored at will, and the normally passive Clipper faithful were getting abnormally hostile.

The “Fire Dunleavy” chant has been present in some capacity during almost every home game for the past year, but it rarely spreads beyond a couple isolated shouts. That night, though, it was in full force. My section was right behind the Clipper bench and three guys about five rows back were undoubtedly spearheading the stadium-wide charge. By halftime it was somewhat annoying, but into the third quarter the chants grew so loud that faces in the crowd and on the Clipper bench turned pissed. Despite having just won three games in a row to get to a 3-4 record, the Clippers were being berated by their home fans for playing their first bad game of the season.

So I went up to talk to the guys.

To be clear, I’m critical of a lot of things Dunleavy does, but I think he gets a way harder time than he deserves. And the Godfather of the Fire Dunleavy Campaign is unquestionably Simmons, who has taken every opportunity available to declare the coach completely inept. I have always found Simmons entertaining, especially on his podcast, and his writing is good most of the time. But his dedication to defaming Dunleavy, his Boston homerism and his worthless pop culture references really piss me off and make me think he is the model for all bad sports blogger stereotypes – except that he actually makes money, and a boatload of it at that. Nevertheless, I still read his columns, though with less frequency over the past few years.

So I walked up to talk to the three ringleaders, just to see if they thought what they were doing was in any way serving the purpose they sought. They immediately turned the discussion to how bad Dunleavy was at coaching, for which their main argument was his overall record with the Clippers – which is very bad, but can be at least partially explained by a series of pretty bad injuries (Elton Brand’s Achilles, Shaun Livingston’s knee, the entire 2008 roster) and one of the worst betrayals in NBA history (Brand silently walking out on a verbal agreement with Dunleavy and Baron Davis to go to Philly).

Other than that, though, the guys didn’t have much to support the notion that Dunleavy should lose his job. That’s when I asked if they ever read Bill Simmons.

“Oh yeah, of course we do,” they stammered in unison. “Simmons is the best!”

Jesus, of course you do! At that point I realized I had met my match, that Bill Simmons had reached a level of cultural influence so profound that entire games could be altered by his words. These three Sports Guy paeans were imparting his will without his consent – like Tyler Durden’s Project Mayhem (forgive the movie metaphor, but it actually works here) – and the players were clearly responding. They looked up into the stands trying to make eye contact with these guys the entire second half, they yelled at each other, all while falling farther and farther behind the Hornets. New Orleans may have won the game anyway, but the final spread took a hit that even Tim Donaghy couldn’t have foreseen, thanks to these three loudmouths.

Despite my inspiration to write a manifesto about Bill Simmons, though, the words and overall thesis have eluded me. I like him for entertaining me, informing me and bringing exposure to my favorite LA basketball team, unpleasant as it may be (hey, any press is good press). But I hate him for many other reasons, most of which can be summed up by the story I just told.

So left with no argument to make, I stumbled on this online forum from the New York Magazine website today, which made all my arguments for me. In it, six contemporary writers -- sports writers and others – dissect Simmons and his new book from every angle and level, both micro and macro. Take the time to read through it all, because there are few other writers today that demand so much attention and inspire so much debate.

Follow Everything But Poker on Twitter: @widdoesSFL

Eight months ago I watched a basketball team listlessly conclude another abysmal season – a conclusion that lasted about 30 games. The lack of basic interest in playing the game was unmistakable in this bunch from January until May, as opposing teams regularly walked into the Staples Center and effectively put games away before the start of the second quarter. All season, commentators pointed to the lack of cohesion among the players, an inept coach and an unrelenting slew of injuries as the likely sources of the Clippers’ horrid play, but the fact is it all began with one man: Baron Davis.

When the Clippers traded for Davis last summer – aside from the expectation that he would team up with Elton Brand to bring the team back to the playoffs – they expected to get the superhero of the 2007 playoffs. That summer, Mike Dunleavy watched from his couch as this bearded assassin caused mayhem in Oakland after taking out the league’s best team that year, the Mavericks, then threw down the most vicious dunk of this millennium in a narrow second-round defeat to the Jazz, all while leaving the sports world dumbfounded with his ruthlessly dope style (which inspired one of the best blog names in history). At that point, every coach in the NBA wanted Baron Davis on his team.



So in preparation for his homecoming last fall, Davis hyped up the way his new team would play fast-paced, made sure the whole city knew he was coming to paint the town Clipper red, white and blue … and then toned his body with the fat girl’s diet – Jenny Craig. Once the season started, the fastest break the Clippers could run was a light jog that looked more like a “yog” (It’s a soft J). Writers claimed that Dunleavy was holding Baron back when it was actually the other way around: Baron was too slow to beat any other guard of the dribble last season so he had to slow it down, pass it off or chuck up a contested fadeaway 20-foot jumper. In the NBA, your team is only as fast as your point guard, and Baron Davis was undeniably slower than he had ever been, in spite of his distorted self-image as one of the league’s quickest and deadliest players.

This is no longer the case. I stepped back into the Staples Center last night unconvinced of what I had heard from the training camp reports – the Davis had returned in excellent shape with a new-found dedication to his own performance and the team’s success. And through the first half of Monday night’s game against the Warriors, my doubts were confirmed. The team looked confused in its halfcourt sets, defended the high screen-and-roll terribly and managed to give up 73 first-half points – an astonishingly feat even during preseason.

But then the Clips took the floor in the third quarter and Boom Dizzle came out like a man possessed. Dunleavy substituted Rasual Butler for Al Thornton in the starting lineup (which will hopefully be the case for the remainder of the season) and the scoring onslaught began. LA opened the third quarter on a 22-5 run, highlighted by two Davis steals just past halfcourt within the first two minutes – the second of which Baron dove for like an earthquake had just hit. He spent the rest of the period abusing Monta Ellis and Stephen Curry, crossing them up then driving into the lane before kicking the ball back out to sharpshooters like Butler and Eric Gordon.

Just as the Clippers tied the ball game late in the quarter and the crowd began to sense that familiar Clipper feeling of an impending blown fourth-quarter lead, the first pick in the draft, Blake Griffin, stepped on the floor and completely embarrassed the Golden State bigs, grabbing rebounds, blocking shots and abusing forwards of all shapes and sizes from the post and the wing. It was a remarkable sight, especially after sitting through so many lackluster performances last season, and it was no doubt a product of Davis’ explosion in the third.

The best parts of the night, though, were not while the ball was in play. During time outs and free throws, Davis and Dunleavy held these intimate discussions that appeared more like conversations between assistant coaches. Last season Baron scoffed at every Dunleavy direction, and the coach turned sour at the first sign of indignation. On Monday there was dialogue, a series of intense deliberations that seemed highlighted not by stubbornness, but mutual respect. Baron Davis wants to make a good name or himself in his hometown, and he knows that last season did as much to kill his rep as any performance could have. But now he’s slimmed down, he’s motivated and he’s got that swagger back that led him to walk into an arena for a playoff game with a bullet fedora on top of that mangy beard.

A new season is upon us, which, for Clipper fans, means dealing with the inevitable failure of our favorite team. Only a few times in the franchise's history has there been any kind of optimism heading into season, but there is something decidedly different about this instance, as the team gets ready for the season with a deep mix of veterans, role players and young studs. The flaws of last year's team are no secret, from the feud between Baron Davis and coach Mike Dunleavy, to the injuries that took time away from most of the team's best scoring threats and the complete lack of cohesion among the players.

But as I found out last week when I stopped by training camp for about 30 minutes, the Clippers of 2009-10 seem to play with the subtle confidence that is more common among teams that have actually succeeded on the court. Nevertheless, the team seems to understand that, at least as the roster stands now, they have plenty talent to compete for a playoff spot, and nothing outside of injuries should hold them back. Below is the video of Dunleavy's press conference the day I went to camp (there were only three of us asking him questions). Despite what idiots like The Sports Guy say, Dunleavy is a great guy to talk to about the game -- he appreciates a good question and will go out of his way to explain what he sees going on the court.

Amid the recent firestorm of fan disapproval of management's performance over the past couple years, the Clippers pulled off a trade Wednesday that perfectly illustrates one of the most disconcerting realities of the NBA: that no NBA general manager can resist the lure of 20 points and 10 rebounds, no matter what package they come in. But, more importantly, it could act as collective backhand slap to the army of haters that has relentlessly portrayed the Clippers as a never-ending suckhole of despair. While the deal cannot be made official until after the salary cap is set next week, the L.A. Times reported that the Clippers will trade Zach Randolph to the Memphis Grizzlies for Quentin Richardson and possibly one other player, depending on the cap number.

Whatever, right? That deal is just the Clippers’ making room for No. 1 pick Blake Griffin to get some more burn as a rookie and dumping some salary while they’re at it.

Oh, if it were only that simple. While it’s true the Clippers were looking to trade one of their talented big men in order to get Griffin on the court, the idea of Randolph’s being the one to go was inconceivable as recently as last week. The other two guys, Chris Kaman and Marcus Camby, are valuable commodities to just about any NBA franchise. One is a 7-foot, ambidextrous post player with 15/12 potential and three years left on his contract at a manageable salary. The other a 6-11 former defensive player of the year with an admirable work ethic and an expiring contract, which is the NBA equivalent of pudding in your lunchbox --- enjoyable for a far-too-brief period of time and extremely valuable on the trade market.

Zach Randolph is none of those things. He is 6-9 and weighs 260 lbs. His work ethic is, well, non-existent. He chooses not to play defense, was suspended twice last season (once for punching Phoenix Sun Louis Amundson in the face during a game, the other for getting arrested for DUI), and has been traded twice in the past three years for just about pennies on the dollar. He is owed $33 million over the next two years, which currently makes him the 18th-highest paid player in the NBA --- ahead of LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Dwight Howard and Chris Paul --- and is the perfect personification of the Clippers’ lifelong suckhole stigma.

Ah, but he is also one of the select few power forwards that can almost guarantee 20 points and 10 rebounds each night. In fact, that is what he averaged last season splitting time with the Knicks and Clippers, two teams that, only months after his acquisition, realized how grave a mistake they had made and immediately tried to get rid of him. In 2007 the Blazers traded him for Channing Frye and Steve Francis (who never played a game for Portland). The following year the Knicks shipped him off for Tim Thomas and Cuttino Mobley (who retired a week later). And on Wednesday, in return for Randolph’s services, the Clippers got Richardson, who returns to his former team with a bad back that may render him useless after it’s all said and done.

So to recap, despite his All-Star production each of the past six seasons, Zach Randolph is worth no more to his last three than a backup center (Frye), a poisonous, lethargic forward (Thomas) and an ailing shooting guard (Richardson). There was supposed to be no chance that he would get traded again, especially given the amount of money he is still owed. But the Memphis Grizzlies took the bait, showing how shockingly desperate NBA teams are for low-post point production, even at the cost of a team’s economic viability, emotional stability and community reputation.

****

Well, now that that absurdity has been covered, it’s time to look forward to the 2009-10 Clippers, a team that still night not have its opening night roster set. If there is any truth to the myth of addition by subtraction in professional basketball, the Randolph trade will likely become Example A. Even though the Clippers won only 19 games last year, there are few people that would argue that they did not have the talent to win more. Hence, sports writers --- especially ESPN.com’s Sports Guy --- have taken to calling Coach/GM Mike Dunleavy the worst coach and/or general manager in the sport – or all sports, for that matter. So when they landed the top pick in this year’s draft, the concern around Clipper offices was that they had too much talent and too few minutes during a game in which to play it.

If studied in a vacuum, Randolph’s departure means the Clippers need to find someone to score 20 points and 10 rebounds to maintain the 19-win total from a year ago. And while it’s a bit of a stretch to expect that from the rookie, it’s not impossible. Either way, I’m not in a vacuum (I’m in a room sitting next to a vacuum). What is lost from Z-Bo’s offensive production can be replaced by Griffin’s expected offensive output, plus his defensive contribution --- the simple fact that it exists at all is enough to exceed Randolph’s.

So the Clippers’ opening night lineup, as it appears right now, will likely be Baron Davis, Eric Gordon, Al Thornton, Marcus Camby and Chris Kaman, with Griffin, Richardson, Steve Novak and second-year players Mike Taylor and DeAndre Jordan coming off the bench. Griffin will probably be starting by 2010 and several outlets have reported that the Clippers are pursuing Lakers’ forward Trevor Ariza, so this lineup could still improve further. But at first glance, that squad looks like a serious playoff contender.

In fact, barring injuries to Gordon, Davis, Kaman and Camby, this team will have no excuse for not making the playoffs next season. They may be a bit thin on the wing and will rely heavily on Gordon, the second-year stud, but if Dunleavy can’t steer this team to the post-season, fans will call for his head for the second off-season in a row, only this time it will be completely warranted. Unfortunately, those injury concerns are very real, not that it will stop the fans from calling for Dunleavy’s head anyway.

Beyond the elevated expectations for this season, however, the Clippers have now positioned themselves as one of the most attractive destinations for free agents next summer. Getting rid of Randolph clears $17.3 million from the 2010-11 roster, and Richardson, Camby and Ricky Davis’ contracts all expire after this season, all of which will clear $19.4 million from the roster. That will leave the Clippers $20-25 million under the salary cap next summer, when superstars such as LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh become free agents, all of whom will get the chance to play with emerging stars such as Gordon and Griffin.

Really, was there ever a team more tailor-made for LeBron James? An experienced, play-making point guard (Davis), a lights-out shooting guard (Gordon), an explosive, hard-working power forward (Griffin) and a dependable center (Kaman) --- plus plenty of emerging talent coming off the bench? George Bush could coach that team and it would still win it all. I could write Dunleavy’s sales pitch to the King James right now: LeBron, you will win a championship next year with this team. Want to sign?

OK, my math may be a little off, and the possibility of luring LeBron a ridiculous fantasy, but during my years as a Clipper fan, “the future” has been a tantalizing dream of success only twice: in 1992 after they nearly beat the Jazz in the first round of the playoffs, and in 2001 when the team had a young core of Elton Brand, Lamar Odom, Corey Maggette, Darius Miles and Richardson. Now for the third time, success is on the horizon, and this time it feels a little different. The first obstacle has been shipped out of town, now it’s time for all that talent to shine through. But, as they always say, this is the Clippers, so ...



Correction: Ramona Shelburne of the LA Daily News reports that, as it stands right now, the Clippers will be about $17 million under the cap next off-season. So that probably won't get the job done signing LeBron, but if the economy turns around in a big way, it could mean more cap room.