The Sports Intern

Within the last week, I have learned more about Tiger Woods’ personal life than I would care to know. The singular reason I am interested in golf, Woods has turned himself into the focus of scorn for women everywhere. Seemingly a nice guy, a simple car accident revealed his true nature. It has since been revealed that he has had committed adultery, possibly with multiple women. It diminishes his image as a father, as a standup guy, and as a golfer.

So many questions have come out of this. While no charges have been filed, there are accusations of domestic violence. The media is circling the Woods residence searching for evidence of something more. Further, the biggest question is whether Woods’ title as the greatest golfer we have ever seen is being tarnished.

My question is very simple: why?

Ever since I started watching sports, I have known it as an escape. It is an escape from the stresses and pains of life. It is an escape from my daily routine. And sometimes most importantly, it is an escape from the stupidity of a lot of other things in the world.

As juicy as gossip magazines get, as tumultuous as celebrity rumors become, I cannot help but thinking how annoying the people to dig up that dirt must be. I understand they are just doing their job, but it seems like a job that involves a lot more violating of other people than most jobs should. Nevertheless, my opinion is my opinion, and I do not have to support those magazines and reporters. The people who do enjoy it can purchase as they please.

My problem lies in the area where those magazines and those reporters start violating my escape and, as an extension, me. I love sports. I have loved them since the time I watched my first Super Bowl. I watch ESPN everyday and catch SportsCenter most mornings. I do not want to wake up to mornings where I learn about Tiger Woods’ extramarital affairs. It’s not my business, I do not care about it, and I should not be forced to watch it.

So this is my plea. Leave the gossip and the trashiness to the writers that are paid to do it. Sports writers and sports news should report sports. It’s just that simple. I don’t need gossip and I don’t need scandal. I just need sports. It is no one’s place to violate this man’s privacy just because he is good at what he does. If you’re going to do it, I will look down upon you as tasteless. You will just lump yourselves in with the gossip magazines I despise so much. You are here to report sports. Just let us have our escape.

-TSI

Days after a spectator charged the court and briefly interrupted Rafael Nadal’s fourth-round match at the U.S Open, I started looking at some of the year’s best fan interruptions. I found myself wondering why spectators don’t do this more often. Let’s look at what’s happened so far this year.

In Nadal’s case, a fan ran toward the shirtless Spaniard simply to tell him he loved him and give him a kiss. Personally, I would be flattered if this would happen. A fan loves me? And risks being put in prison simply to express that to my face? Well, heck, isn’t that just adorable? Not to mention there’s clearly some dedication in tennis fans, something I would least expect to see at the U.S. Open given the lack of men’s tennis players from the United States.

The U.S. Open wasn’t the only major tournament to see some action from the fans this year. At the French Open, Roger Federer got to play dress-up with a fan that decided he wanted to see how the No. 1 seed looked in a hat. More dedication from tennis fans, clearly, although the intruder waved a Barcelona soccer flag, so his motives are questionable.

Finally, my favorite intrusion of the year comes from good old-fashioned American baseball. At an Orioles game, a young man (an elementary school teacher, according to some reports) took a $1,000 bet from a friend. The challenge was to run from their outfield seats down the third-base line seats to the advertisement printed on the centerfield wall and make it back to their seats without be stopped. The poor guy got to the sign and was 10 feet from making it all the way back to the seats when his failed attempt at head-faking a cop landed him in cuffs.

All of these are undoubtedly entertaining on some level. Each showed a unique look at fans in sports. At the U.S. Open, the fan simply loved Nadal enough to put himself at risk. Roland Garros’ disturbance featured a man who simply wanted attention and had something funny to do. And of course, the crazy teacher just wanted $1,000 and made a silly bet.

Despite these three brave men challenging the status quo of sitting quietly and behaving at a sporting event, we don’t see fans do this very often.



As a sports fan, this is honestly disappointing. Who doesn’t love the image of a crazed fan sprinting across a football field only to get decked by a 6-4 linebacker? Or a baseball fan living out his dream of rounding the bases after a historic home run?

For entertainment value, the crowd is one of the most underrated parts of a sporting event outside aside from actual contest. They add so much to the game and are often overlooked until something truly insane happens. Fans can get as loud as they want, as mad as they want, but unless the camera starts shaking and forces a broadcaster to mention it, we won’t hear anything about it.

Fans can truly be the deciding factor in a game of any kind and that’s too often ignored. So how can fans get the appreciation they deserve? Charge the field, of course. I’m not promoting anything dangerous or threatening like the tragedy that befell Monica Seles in 1993. But what better to loosen up a stiff crowd that doesn’t have its heart in the game than a fat man without his shirt on trying to juke policemen like Reggie Bush?

Honestly, that right there would get me to laugh. And sure, he’ll be arrested and I’ll forget about him ten minutes later, but he just got thousands of people to collectively get their panties out of a bunch and realize their noise, their heart, their love of the game can change the outcome they paid hundreds of dollars to see from the nosebleeds.

So go for it, fans! Sure, there’s a price to pay for the zany antics you may commit out on the field you’re not athletic enough to be on. But how often do you get the chance to individually change the spirit of a crowd and the outcome of a game? Unless you suddenly become a game-changing athlete sometime after reading this, a nice little romp on a tennis court or baseball diamond could be it. So don’t miss your chance and hit the fields and courts, even if it is only until you get pummeled by five angry policeman. --- TSI.

The Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx strikes again. After punishing Maria Sharapova for her swimsuit issue appearance in 2006, the mystery of the curse is still lurking around her. Rising American star Melanie Oudin handed Sharapova's the latest setback in her comeback Saturday at the U.S. Open by defeating her in the third round. Given the challenges Sharapova has faced since her serious shoulder injury, I decided to take a look at just how powerful the jinx is.

Among other intriguing facts, I discovered that Kurt Warner is afraid of black cats. While researching the jinx, I discovered that SI itself actually did a cover story about this in January 2002. The idea was for Warner to be on the cover holding a black cat (probably in two gloved hands, one holding the cat, the other stroking it Dr. Evil style). Sadly, he refused the opportunity to be on one of the funniest covers in SI’s history.

Even without Warner on the cover, Alexander Wolff did an in-depth study on the history of the curse. He and a team of three others went through every single one of SI’s 2,456 covers and studied the athlete's performance after appearing on the cover. An astounding 37.2 percent of the time, the athlete’s performance dropped off. So the cover jinx is true, right?

Wolff’s answer was maybe. Although he personally believes there is a jinx, the evidence is iffy. Michael Jordan has appeared on the cover 51 times, and, as well all know, he rarely suffered any thing remotely close to a fall off.

On the other hand, there is abundant evidence of struggles among the cover athletes. A truly sad story is that of golfer Andy Norris. After winning a tournament, he made the cover, then went cold for seven years, not winning another tournament in that span. Finally, he broke through and won another one, earning himself yet another cover, and sadly, also earning a winless streak for the rest of his career.

Theories range from mathematics to psychology. Regression toward the mean says that while some extreme measurements (like ones that might earn you the cover of SI) may be observed, often most measurements fall closer to average (like ones that would seem to indicate a fall off in performance). This makes sense, but several sports psychologists Wolff spoke with thought it might be mental. Athletes might feel pressured to live up to their cover-worthy performances and think themselves into a slump. Both theories would explain the jinx fairly well, in my opinion.

It’s more fun to chalk the SI jinx up to being one of the mysteries in sports, riding alongside the Madden Curse. While the video game version has yet to be studied, there is clearly at least some legitimacy to both.

Unfortunately, Wolff leaves one very important question unanswered. What about the swimsuit issue?

If 37.2 percent of athletes on the cover of SI fall off in performance after their cover, what happens to the beautiful models that grace the cover of the annual swimsuit issue? Do Marisa Miller or Heidi Klum put on a few pounds or trip on a walkway after they made the cover? Or perhaps an incidental farmer’s tan strikes them down? The public is dying to know.

The swimsuit issue clearly isn’t invincible. The likes of Anna Kournikova and Sharapova have both taken up SI on a chance to appear. After their shoots? Kournikova no longer plays professional tennis. Sharapova suffered a shoulder injury that cost her most of 2008, and the jinx has followed her into 2009, keeping her out of every major final this year.

So how do the real models fair? I want to send Wolff back to the drawing board, have him create measurements for modeling performance, and test for drop offs. If SI is hurting our models, I don’t want Adriana Lima on the cover. That’s a price I’m just not willing to pay. --- TSI.